👨‍⚖️ Coinbase’s Top Legal Eagle Pecks at Treasury’s Tornado Cash Maneuver! 🌪️🪙

In a turn of events so unexpected it could only be compared to finding a sperm whale in your bathtub, Coinbase’s Chief Legal Officer, Paul Grewal, has launched a verbal broadside against the US Treasury.

With the finesse of a Vogon poetry reading, the Treasury has delisted Tornado Cash from the SDN list, a move that’s left about as much satisfaction as a pan-galactic gargle blaster without the gargle.

Power does not recede voluntarily. It’s gasps and it gasps until it no longer can. 🐙 @USTreasury filed yet another late Friday pleading against Tornado Cash. After grudgingly delisting TC, they now claim they’ve mooted any need for a final court judgment. But that’s not the law,…

Grewal, taking to the intergalactic ether of X, has boldly gone where few lawyers have gone before, questioning the Treasury’s legal gymnastics. They’ve tried to pull a fast one, claiming the case is as dead as a dodo, but Grewal’s not buying it. He argues that unless the Treasury can assure us they won’t bring the sanction hammer down again, it’s all just a legal conga line leading nowhere.

And let’s not forget the star of our show, Tornado Cash, accused of being the money laundering accomplice to the North Korean Lazarus Group. It’s like discovering your friendly neighborhood bank is actually a front for intergalactic pirates! 🏴‍☠️

Despite the sanctions, Tornado Cash’s users have fought back with the tenacity of a Babel fish in a linguist’s ear, scoring some impressive court victories. The judges, in their infinite wisdom, have decreed that Tornado Cash’s smart contracts are about as classifiable as a bowl of petunias.

Coinbase, along with the Ethereum Foundation, has valiantly stepped into the legal octagon to back Tornado Cash’s lead developer, Alexey Pertsev. It’s a regulatory space opera that’s more twisted than a hungry caterpillar’s eating schedule.

So, as we watch this interstellar legal chess match play out, remember: in the world of crypto regulation, the only constant is change, and perhaps the occasional unexpected appearance of a large, yellow, and somewhat depressed whale. 🐳

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2025-03-24 07:19