The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Dennis the Menace

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We’ve seen our fair share of knucklehead ass men on The Real Housewives franchise — we even ranked them once — and as a fan, I’ve come to see them as an unfortunate, yet sometimes (emphasis on sometimes!) necessary evil. The genesis of Housewives is rooted in domestic life in a certain subsect of American culture, so of course matrimonial affairs will always be a major theme throughout the cities, despite this fanbase’s penchant for misandry. Well, misandry might be a reach; what we’re sick of is seeing men harass and manipulate their partners in front of our eyes, with tonight’s episode emphasizing just that. After a promising premiere, RHOA dives into the ladies’ personal lives, leading to eye-roll-worthy scenes that showcase two Househusband archetypes: the grifter and the belittler.

Sure, some of the funniest and most compelling moments in the Housewives canon involve these dark figures (Shannon Beador lying on her “grave” as David reads her obituary without any trace of a soul in his eyes immediately comes to mind), but just once it would be great to look at a couple and truly think, “Wow, I can’t wait to get married one day.” Or, I don’t know, at least hear a wife tell her husband she loves him without the possibility of hearing a response like, “I know … and love is important,” like Brit’s hubby said to her. But hey, it’s not like we rely on Bravo as an exemplar of healthy relationships. The whole episode is littered with uncomfortable relationship moments as the dust settles on the premiere, and we dig beneath the surface. It narrowly escaped a two-star rating only because it lays the foundation for so much of the forth-coming drama.

I’ll give Charles Oakley and Brit’s husband, Mike, a minuscule grain of salt on account of the first-season jitters while filming. I can’t imagine it’s easy jumping into the world of reality TV, particularly if it’s not a choice of your own. And, if we apply the archaic “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” beliefs often employed by Housewives, I can understand why these types of husbands struggle to reveal a softer side of themselves on camera … but that doesn’t mean I have to like watching it. Seeing Mike prickle awkwardly at Brit’s “I love you” or Charles making no qualms about creating an “I think this show is silly” energy whenever Angela films is cringey for me, especially knowing how much these women hustle. Brit and Angela both come from self-made backgrounds (we find out Angela made her money through financial consulting) in a world that doesn’t make such a thing easy for Black women, and my wish for all women is to find a soft space where they don’t have to fight for love and affection.

Could Charles and Mike be that soft space behind closed doors? Possibly. Some of it is clearly in jest, mainly from Charles, who has been adding a little comedic value, but what we see during filming comes off as a lack of support. But these two don’t leave nearly as bad an impression as Kelli’s ex-husband, as we learn that he was both financially and physically abusive, closing one of her restaurants without her knowledge and draining her bank account while she was out of the country. Brit’s relationship is significantly less hostile, but there is an awkward air in their interactions as she tries to discuss their plans to have a baby. Mike is defensive and vaguely combative to everything she says, but this could merely be their unique dynamic, magnified by adjusting to having a camera in their faces.

However, the inverse of the husband who is visibly uncomfortable filming is much worse … it’s the one who jumps at the chance of camera time we should be the most afraid of. Historically, the man who is a little too eager to film is the one who will fuck shit up — yup, we’re looking at you, Dennis! We know what you are. We’ve seen it with Slade Smiley, Peter Thomas, Apollo Nida (who we just saw begging for scraps of attention on Married to Medicine), and many more. Now that Porsha scurried back onto the show after her main source of income fell through the cracks, her albatross of a baby daddy sees it as a prime opportunity to siphon some coins and clout by association because I guess the hot dog business isn’t lucrative enough. But Porsha’s grown a brain cell or two in her time on the show, and though they’re on good terms, it’s unlikely in the space she’s in with her divorce that she’d be a stable way for Dennis to get the type of screen time he wants, which means he had to find a back door. Enter the easiest way to finagle onto the show: fellow grifter Drew Sidora.

Following Porsha and Shamea’s interrogation at Shamea’s birthday party about the nature of Drew and Dennis’s relationship, Drew maintains they’re merely good friends. The problem is that she’s using phrases like  “guiding light” and “angel” to describe her “friend’s” baby daddy while apparently galavanting around Atlanta clubs wearing matching outfits. Drew claims Porsha was well aware of the relationship, but Porsha calls out Drew’s habit of mincing her words to cover up her shady moves, calling her an “awful, fucking slimy-ass bitch.” According to Porsha, the crux of the issue isn’t the relationship between Dennis and Drew but Drew’s behind-the-scenes dealings when it comes to the show. With on-the-spot permission from production, Porsha demolishes the fourth wall, expressing disappointment that Drew would try to film with Dennis during a photoshoot for Porsha’s Go Naked Hair … which Porsha never asked her to do.

Drew is a brand ambassador for Go Naked, so naturally, her next move is to say that the unauthorized photoshoot was an act of goodwill to promote Porsha’s brand. But Porsha is upset that Drew is using her as material for the show in the messiest way possible, slithering behind the scenes to create storylines with her ex. Everyone in the room can taste the bullshit dripping from Drew’s words as she stands by her decision. It gets to the point where Porsha’s beating a dead horse so she puts down her boxing gloves … for now. If I were Porsha, I would start working with Ralph on a music career while parading him around the cameras, then see what Drew has to say, especially since Ralph continues to terrorize Drew, allegedly (you always have to use that word when the story is coming from Ms. Sidora) attempting to get alimony, child support, and percentages of her businesses, displaying the same leech tendencies as Dennis. However, I have sympathy for Porsha in that regard; her tears about Simon being a fraud cue the world’s smallest violin in my head.

We don’t have time to break down Simon’s legal woes, as Porsha does with Kenya over lunch, but there were a multitude of red flags in their relationship, any one of which being enough to walk away. The fallout from the divorce is just as messy as the marriage, with Simon using his Instagram story to further provoke Porsha. She cites the turmoil of the breakup as what’s exacerbating her feelings toward Dennis and Drew, breaking down in the bathroom while filming a one-on-one with her ex. While accompanying Pilar at an indoor playground (she still can’t film in her Simon’s house), Dennis and Porsha sift through the Drew drama. For someone whose name has been in almost half the scenes of the last two episodes — which is exactly what Porsha is trying to avoid — it’s time for Dennis to finally speak for himself.

Porsha cuts right to the chase, initiating a conversation about his newfound relationship with Dennis saying it’s “strictly business.” It’s not until Porsha tells him that Drew is going around singing his praises as if he rescued her from near death that Dennis admits to feeling a way about seeing Porsha’s marriage play out in public. Cue that violin again! He disregards Porsha’s request that she be the only person he films with on her platform, saying that it’s important for “promotional” reasons. Porsha feels hurt that the person she’s co-parenting with is not only using her job as a means to glean more attention for himself but also ignoring her pleas for him to stop. The emotions take over, so Porsha excuses herself to go to the bathroom as “he doesn’t deserve” her tears.

In the bathroom, Porsha explains to production her reasoning behind opposing Dennis being on the show, saying it gives him the opportunity to use her platform against her in the event that they have a falling out. The episode ends with Porsha and Dennis leaving the playground and continuing the conversation in her car as they pull out of the parking lot, with Porsha reiterating that will be a problem any time he films with someone else. Porsha says fuck the fourth wall for a second time and tells him how “insane” it looks to be filming with another Housewife before Dennis reminds her that they’re still miked. Porsha’s response is, “I’m sure you know, you a pro now with it, huh?” before saying that “every promotion is not a good promotion.” She leaves it as cryptically as possible, telling him to “watch” what he does as it will “mark” how this looks for his daughter. Let’s only hope Dennis continues to get his lashings. Here’s the attention you asked for!

Peach Tea To-Go

• Shamea and her surrogate Shadina supplied much-needed love and sisterhood to the episode. Watching them uplift each other and heal some of the trauma from their experience with Shadina’s cancer and Shiloh’s health complications was a very real moment that also brought an educational aspect through advocating for Black maternal care was very important.

• So far, I have little to say about Angela’s attempt at puffing her chest out at Shamea and about the new girls in general other than I appreciate the enthusiasm even if it comes off clunky. Plus, we dutiful members of Dame Moylan’s Housewives Institute follow the Eileen Davidson Accords and refrain from premature judgment.

• Kenya’s absence from RHOA will only grow by the week, but right now the biggest heartbreak is not getting to really see her and Porsha as friends. Despite being enemies from their inaugural season, they have uncannily parallel lives. Pilar and Brooklyn are months apart and they’ve begun bonding as mothers so it’s a shame we won’t get the full picture of their budding friendship.

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2025-03-17 06:26