Minority Mindset

Enter MorenoDV_, a gentleman of unknown origin but impeccable flair for dramatic data interpretation, who, in a missive dated January 17th (a day, one trusts, otherwise unremarkable), reassures us that the bull cycle persists. One is tempted to ask, “Like syphilis?” but refrains. Yes, despite the horror of Q4 2025-when wallets were flayed and nerves frayed-the bull, it seems, is merely dozing, possibly off champagne and hubris.

Apparently, this cache of digital trinkets is distributed amongst a frankly alarming number of issuers: Canary, Bitwise (twice, naturally – consistency is for the uninspired), Franklin Templeton (one assumes they know what they’re doing, though one doubts it), Grayscale, 21Shares, REX-Osprey… the list goes on. It’s a veritable bazaar of financial engineering.

Well, slap my wallet and call me volatile-Steak ‘n Shake announced on January 16, 2026, that it’s doubled down on its Bitcoin obsession, adding a cool $10 million to its Strategic Bitcoin Reserve (SBR). Apparently, accepting Bitcoin payments has been the secret sauce to their same-store sales surge, which is either genius or the financial equivalent of putting ketchup on a filet mignon. 🍔💸

It transpired that, despite this vexing oversight, the occurrence did not come to light until a subsequent month:
in November, the disconcerting truth was unveiled. The matter, preserving our most conscientious hopes, was
forthwith communicated to the vigilant stewards of regulations at the commencement of the year past. 📜📢

Naturally, Bitcoin’s aspirations towards the hundred thousand mark (how terribly vulgar!) give the little altcoins a bit of room to breathe and, presumably, inflate their own self-importance.

Greenland is in the middle of a tariff war involving the U.S. and some countries from the European Union (EU) and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). 🧊🌍

Naturally, we, being professionals (of a sort), decided to ask several Artificial Intelligences what’s next. Because clearly, they have it all figured out. Humans? Forget about it. We’re just here to report on what disembodied algorithms tell us.