Love Is Blind’s Dave Still Seeks His Sister’s Approval for All His Relationships

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It’s likely better for Dave Bettenburg and Lauren O’Brien that they recognized their relationship wasn’t suitable during the Love Is Blind season eight preparations, rather than at their wedding fittings. While some spectators had doubts about Bettenburg from the beginning when he questioned women in the pods about their flaws, O’Brien repeatedly expressed that her connection with her fiancé felt right. However, it was a past acquaintance who caused significant issues for the couple: O’Brien admitted to casually dating this individual while spreading rumors that they had been romantically involved before filming, while Bettenburg’s friends and sister convinced him that the man in question—who lived in the same Minneapolis apartment building as the Love Is Blind couples—was seriously dating O’Brien during the weeks prior to production.

In the latest episodes, the couple decided to end their engagement due to several issues. Bettenburg expressed his concerns about his friends and family not accepting O’Brien, and his father’s belief that he wasn’t ready for such a commitment. O’Brien felt he was unwilling to commit to someone else and be part of a team. She also mentioned giving him a letter meant for his sister, which he never delivered. Now, Bettenburg insists he attempted to gain the support of his community, but argues that there wasn’t a perfect way to handle this situation. He also asserts that he did deliver O’Brien’s emotional letter, but his sister didn’t inform him if she read it. In his words, “I don’t think that would have made a difference on her part. At that time, my sister knew what she knew, and so did I.

Have you been enjoying the series in the company of friends and relatives? Well, I caught the premiere with Devin, but later episodes I opted to watch alone. I preferred a solitary viewing experience.

How does it make you feel to see yourself on video? While I tried to remain authentic throughout the process, some of my fellow cast members appeared to be acting. They seemed aware when they were being recorded and adjusted their behavior accordingly. On the other hand, I simply continued being myself, and I believe I managed to showcase that side of me effectively, whether or not I was wearing a microphone.

Has your sister been watching the show? 
Yes.

What’s the age gap there?
She’s two years older than me.

Has her perception of Lauren’s situation evolved over time as she’s observed its unfolding in the series? It seems challenging for her to witness how distressing the process was for Lauren and how heavily it affected her. She appears to be empathetic about it. Frankly, I find it tough to revisit those moments myself as well.

Lauren composed a letter intended for your sister, however, she mistakenly believed it didn’t reach her. Here’s why I think this: The letter apparently ended up in your jacket pocket, which Lauren discovered. [Laughs.] It’s unclear to me why Lauren was rummaging through your jacket, but that’s another matter, I suppose. Nonetheless, I handed the letter over to your sister. Whether she chose to read it or not was her decision at the time. If she found it pertinent, that was entirely her judgment.

Have you ever been in a relationship that your sister didn’t approve of?
No.

It’s quite understandable that people are reacting strongly to your desire for your sister’s approval in the relationship. After all, when it comes to relationships, I personally always seek my sister’s blessing too. What surprises me is that this aspect seems to be overemphasized in your case. In fact, if you observe other participants or cast members on the show, they also value family approval highly. It’s puzzling why people are focusing solely on you and your sister when it comes to family importance.

Have your buddies ever objected to one of your past romantic involvements? Not at all, actually. They’re quite laid-back individuals who prioritize support for each other. It’s simply a case of my upcoming marriage in two weeks and the understanding that I had about the situation, as did they. My friends wouldn’t deliberately mislead me to undermine a relationship.

In this situation, you were encountering something novel as your community expressed unease about the person you were courting. It wasn’t because they had any personal issues with her; rather, they took issue with the hasty pace of the relationship. The plan was to get married in just two weeks, and that didn’t sit well with many, including myself. I was uncomfortable entering a new relationship so close to getting married. Although I was aware of the short timeline upon joining the pods, I wasn’t aware that people were embarking on three-month relationships beforehand.

To clarify something that’s been bothering me, I felt it was important to mention that before the experiment, I had learned one of the participants was dating a man. The specifics of their relationship were unknown to me at the time. Given there were 15 other women in the mix, I thought it was just a matter of chance. So, as I’m facing this wave of criticism for standing up for myself, I can’t help but think back to that fact. After all, it turned out that I was the one who ended up with her in the end.

In the series, you express your discomfort about sleeping with Lauren after she had been involved with someone else. Suppose it was just a casual arrangement, I could understand that. Modern times do see many one-night stands or short-lived relationships. However, my understanding at the time was that it wasn’t casual. From what I gathered, they had been dating for approximately three months, and she had spent the night at his place before we departed for the show. In my mind, this sequence of events didn’t align. It seemed like a serious relationship without any clear end, as if neither of them had declared it was over when she left. It felt more like leaving the door open, hoping things might work out in the future.

Have we ever discussed this matter with the roommate in question? Well, I encountered him in the lobby when we moved into our shared apartment, but my attention was elsewhere at the time. So, to clarify, while we exchanged a few words, our conversation didn’t delve into this specific topic. Instead, I chose to maintain distance from him on the subject.

In your initial statement, you expressed wanting to address past behavior towards women and self-reflect on it by participating in Love Is Blind. Now, let’s rephrase that question in a more conversational tone:

Have the experiences on Love Is Blind helped you achieve your goal of personal growth and self-reflection regarding your approach to relationships with women? And if so, how have those changes manifested in your life today?

However, I’ve faced difficulties due to the criticism I receive for my past imperfections in relationships. It’s not that I’ve mistreated women, it’s more about the pressure of dating with an implicit expectation of marriage or a deep commitment. I found it challenging as I felt viewers might empathize and share similar experiences. Regrettably, it seems my honesty about being human and imperfect was overlooked.

Your remarks lead me to ponder if perhaps you might find it more plausible to consider the possibility that Lauren could have been involved in a physical relationship for some time without it having significant emotional meaning for her? Given that she was spending extended periods at someone’s place and engaging in a physical relationship, I found it hard to comprehend how such an interaction wouldn’t foster any emotional bond. This is especially puzzling considering the proximity of these events to her participation in the show. For me, any romantic involvement that becomes physical inevitably involves some level of emotional attachment. To me, these two aspects seem deeply intertwined, and it seems unusual for people to approach relationships so casually. I’ve been on dates where things ended after only a few outings, but I’ve never intentionally maintained a casual physical relationship with the expectation that we would continue hooking up without any clear end goal in mind. That just doesn’t make sense to me.

Have you been abstaining from sexual relationships for the last four years while being single? No, I haven’t. However, I didn’t have long-term romantic involvements leading up to appearing on the show to marry someone either.

It seems clear that you’re confident about the validity of your worries and the responses you took based on them.

Are there any additional aspects about you or this experience that you’d like others to know? It would have been great if viewers could appreciate the challenge of opening up and being vulnerable in these situations and relationships, as I feel quite misunderstood by many at present, which is quite challenging to handle.

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2025-03-01 00:02