Minority Mindset

But wait, there’s more! The plot thickens, as Coinbase whispers of something even juicier: the potential introduction of regulated crypto products-yes, *ETFs*-to the Indian market. Could this be the dawning of a new era for crypto in India? Will the masses soon have their regulated slice of the crypto pie? Time will tell. 🤑

Apparently, back in the *olden days* (like, the last market cycle), these “digital asset treasuries” – DATs, very sophisticated – didn’t even exist. Now they’re hoarding 5.9 million ETH, which is roughly $24 billion. That’s…a lot of zeros. They’re just going to sit on it, apparently, for “long-term yields.” Like a dragon with a shiny hoard, only… digital. 🙄

This historic move catapults New York into the crypto spotlight, making it the first city in the U.S. to establish a department *solely dedicated* to blockchain innovation, financial inclusion, and, you guessed it, crypto regulation. Adams’ grand vision? To crown NYC as the undisputed crypto capital of the world. A lofty goal, indeed, but it’s not like Adams to shy away from ambition. At this point, he’s practically the crypto mayor, earning that shiny new title with every block he adds to his empire.

According to the indefatigable Nikkei Asia, these parchments of parliamentary pandemonium are slated for 2026. The new lexicon decrees that trading with “privileged information” (a term we’re told is officially vaguer than a haiku about budget airlines) will now merit a cozy chat with the judiciary. One might as well be caught pilfering sushi rolls at a Michelin-starred izakaya-except the penalty could include fines, jail, or the ultimate humiliation: having to explain your crypto portfolio to a bureaucrat.