The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Caviar Dreams

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In this week’s episode of our beloved show, Rich Women Doing Things, the wealthy women found themselves in an interesting predicament. They blamed their ill-mannered pets for damaging the tiny replica of their backyard home, adorned with numerous toys, despite their daughters being elsewhere.

Breaking from our usual summary of “Rich Women Doing Things,” we present you with a surprising update. Mauricio Umansky, the founder of The Agency and partner to one of the show’s leading ladies, was photographed kissing another woman at Mykonos airport. This revelation follows closely on the heels of Kyle’s intimate therapy session, held in her own home. It seems that many of these affluent women have their professionals, like therapists, fertility specialists, and beauticians, coming directly to them – one wonders if they’ve all had their driving licenses revoked! In the therapy session, Kyle expressed concerns about not being able to live life to the fullest while her husband can. She fears that if she finds a new partner, Mauricio may return after “spreading his wings” and ask for her back. However, it’s unlikely that such a scenario will unfold at all.

When the media releases the photos, naturally, several women gather on their respective video calls to debate about them. It’s Erika who is contractually obligated to contact Kyle, who asserts that she doubts the photographs were purposeful, given they were taken in Europe. She continues to believe Mauricio is innocent. Sutton raises a reasonable concern, suggesting the pictures seem deliberately arranged, and I share her viewpoint. Her proof is that she was at the same airport as Mo, where Jennifer Aniston arrived, yet there were no photographers present. Already convinced, I became even more so when you mention Rachel Green herself being involved in it. Now, I’m doubly persuaded.

As a devoted fan, I’ve got to share my own thoughts on this intriguing mystery. Just like Sutton, I believe there might be more than meets the eye behind those staged photos. While I agree that someone tipped off the photographers, my suspicion points towards a different motive and potential culprit.

In my opinion, the goal was not revenge, but rather to expedite Kyle and Morgan Wade’s painfully slow divorce proceedings. This could have been anyone in their inner circle who wanted them to confront the issues their therapist has been urging them to address. It could be Mo, too afraid to tell Kyle about his new girlfriend. It might even be Kyle, hoping to force a confrontation. The daughters could also be involved, tired of keeping the secret about Mo’s new girlfriend from their mother. Or perhaps it was Kathy, but we know that’s not likely since she would leave a comment on TMZ’s Instagram account using her husband’s iPad, not call the paparazzi directly.

In simpler terms, it seems to me that the girlfriend is the one who initiated things first. She’s managed to secure a wealthy man but he keeps mentioning his need for caution with his wife and sorting out his divorce. Despite this ongoing discussion for months, there’s been no progress on the divorce. One possible way to expedite matters could be by revealing to his wife that he’s involved with someone else, making it public knowledge, attributing it to TMZ, receiving a proposal of marriage herself, and maintaining an image of being entirely innocent.

Instead of focusing on the main spectacle, which is Jennifer Tilly’s Caviar and Kaftan party and an unforgettable dinner-time altercation among these ladies reminiscent of last year’s weed party hosted by Kyle, let’s first acknowledge our eccentric new wealthy relative, Jennifer Tilly. It’s astounding that 20 years into the era of Housewives, this is the first Caviar and Kaftan party! The concept was brilliantly executed by everyone except Dorit, who overlooked the ‘kaftans’ part of the invitation and arrived in a stylish Dior dress with the same print my parents had on their wallpaper in the 70s. Moreover, Jennifer enlightened us about her Chinese American heritage, to which Erika reacted, “You’re Chinese?” Kathy Hilton at the other end of the table exclaimed, “Jen! I’m Chinese too!” And she added, “A woman in Venice claimed that I was the mistress of an emperor in the Chu Dynasty from 500 B.C. We share a unique bond! I deserve an Oscar nomination as well!

The main conflict, nonetheless, arises between Dorit and Sutton. Things seemed tense among everyone, including Ann Marie, until Jen clarified that the place card with her name was for her friend, not Ann Marie. As the party commenced, Dorit rightly stated, “Sutton needs to stop portraying herself as a victim in situations she’s responsible for and then deceiving people into thinking she’s innocent.” Indeed, this is often how she operates, but she caught Dorit off guard by altering her tactics this time, coming out swinging like a bull that had been castrated.

As a movie reviewer, I’d rephrase it like this: In her critique, Sutton appears to have overlooked a familiar phenomenon I call “Brandi Glanville Syndrome.” This happens when a protagonist, much like Brandi during season two’s iconic “Game Night,” is predominantly right and occupies the moral high ground. However, their argumentation style is so abrasive that they inadvertently tarnish their image, transforming from potential heroes into unsympathetic antagonists. For instance, Brandi came across as terribly wronged by the Sisters Richards during that episode. Yet, her choice of words, such as calling them “fucking cunts” and accusing Kim of doing crystal meth in the bathroom, not only damaged her own reputation but also overshadowed any potential empathy for her situation.

It appears that Sutton might have been justified following the incident at Dorit’s house. Many of us witnessed Sutton patiently waiting for 30 minutes to welcome Dorit upon her arrival (It’s puzzling why she didn’t join Dorit’s friends, whom Sutton referred to as “the Babysitters Club,” instead). We observed Dorit becoming confrontational by seizing Sutton’s bag and stubbornly refusing to return it. We also saw Dorit making an insensitive joke about Sutton’s drinking habits that led her to call Dorit a derogatory term and gradually exit the party in a heated manner. A slow storm, as used here, is not a meteorological phenomenon; instead, it refers to a deliberate and gradual departure or withdrawal from a situation.

There’s no denying that Sutton had plenty of reasons to criticize Dorit for her past actions. However, it’s important to clarify one point: Dorit cannot be accused of suggesting that Sutton had a drinking problem the previous year, as the clip often shown is Dorit stating that Sutton drinks and might put vodka in her coffee. Now, isn’t it worth recalling that Sutton herself admitted on a podcast that she starts her day with a cocktail at 10 a.m., stating, “It’s just consistency through the day. Then I’m nicer”? In essence, Sutton openly confessed to her drinking habits and labeled herself as a drinker, which is exactly what Dorit implied. If one publicly acknowledges such behavior, it’s hard to get upset when others bring it up.

In a different phraseology: Once more, it seems like Dorit is instigating another argument with Sutton at the Caviar and Kaftan party. When Sutton requests a glass of water, Dorit responds in a way that suggests Sutton isn’t drinking due to their recent encounter, unaware that ‘tête-à-tête’ literally means a face-to-face conversation between two people. It appears Dorit is being both mistaken and overly assertive simultaneously.

When everyone takes their seats, it’s me who’s steering the ‘Conflict Train’, barreling straight into Caviar Kaspia. Kicking things off, I reference a comment Dorit made about never knowing which Sutton she’ll encounter each day, and truth be told, she hit the nail on the head. I then offer a balanced recap of the situation thus far, telling her point-blank that she needs to cease her attacks against me. That’s when my Battle-Hardened Defenses surge up. I retort, “You targeted me, and I’m sorry, you should aim your fire at someone else… whose pockets are deeper.

In that instant, she conceded the battle. There might have been a point earlier where she began to falter, as she referred to her opponent as “Poor-it”, an insult that I’m surprised our more sarcastic viewers didn’t anticipate first. You can tell she lost when even her friend Garcelle exclaims, “Oh, wow! Alright. Alright.” She lost even further when Erika inquired of Sutton if she thought she was superior to Dorit, and Sutton retorted with a witty comeback about her wallet instead.

In this context, we’ve been mockingly labeling Dorit as financially unstable, comparing her situation to a precarious house of cards for quite some time. I like to call her residence “Surely Rented Manor” as a humorous jab. However, these jokes are not intended for Sutton. Essentially, what Sutton is implying is that Dorit doesn’t measure up because she’s not as wealthy as she is. She’s insinuating this not because of Dorit’s manners, behavior, or poor sense of humor, but rather due to her perceived lack of wealth. This is a criticism no one wants to receive and, frankly, isn’t a convincing argument. After all, there are numerous unpleasant individuals who possess substantial wealth. If you need an example, just look at the current political landscape in Washington, D.C.

As a film enthusiast, I can’t help but express my thoughts about this scene. In the confessional, Dorit shares her perspective: “Now we see Sutton sinking to her comfort zone – as low as she can go. She thinks that her ex-husband’s financial support gives her free rein to behave so abrasively. The only thing her wealth has bought her is a horse instead of a date.”

While the money Sutton received from her husband is hers to keep, using it as an argument will always invite criticism, whether it’s deserved or not.

1. Dorit masterfully executes the entire scene, whether it’s by design or coincidence. She is aware that Sutton has essentially dug her own grave with that comment, damaging both her argument and reputation. Dorit understands that silence would be more effective, allowing Sutton to dig herself into a deeper hole like a tired vampire preparing for the night.

2. In an attempt to assert her perceived authority, Sutton says, “Let me clarify this for you, missy,” speaking to Dorit as if she were a teenager due to Sutton’s wealth. Sutton then implies that the hostess at the Fourth of July party made it clear that Sutton was not welcome, implying an air of superiority after flaunting her wealth to justify her actions.

3. When asked if she called Sutton a bitch, Sutton responds with, “I should have called you a ‘despicable bitch.'”

After Sutton’s wallet comment, each subsequent action by her is a blunder. Garçelle attempts to deescalate the situation and asks if Dorit could apologize for her inappropriate joke and they could move past it. However, had Sutton arrived calmly, expressed why she found the jest distasteful, and appealed to Dorit’s sense of morality, things might have been different. But that wasn’t how things played out. Now, it’s too late. Yet, Dorit attempts to make amends, offering a (clearly insincere) apology, but in the end, she comes off looking more graceful than Sutton. Sutton retorts with, “Oh, yeah, very sincere,” giving Dorit an opportunity to look imploringly at Garçelle and say, “What else can I do?

At this stage, we encounter two superb quips from the secondary characters. In a private reflection, Jennifer Tilly remarks, “I don’t want these ladies to argue over caviar. That would be messy and [voice softens] costly.” I couldn’t help but chuckle. She deserves more seasons! However, the unexpected twist comes from Morally Questionable Faye Resnick who, as usual, occupies the best position: at the end of the table. Whether it’s the Infamous Dinner Party, Kyle’s Marijuana Dinner, or here, MQFR always manages to land one flawless jab from the sidelines. “Dorit doesn’t appreciate being told she’s late all the time. I drink as much as you do. We all have our triggers,” she says. Perfect. No improvements needed. Perhaps a suggestion on those tiny sunglasses she’s wearing could be made, though.

Essentially, Dorit’s main point during the disagreement is clear when she tells Kyle, “I’m not engaging with someone who truly desires a constructive discussion or any type of relationship, let alone a civil one.” Her assessment is spot on. Sutton opted for conflict, disorder, elitism, classism, and the relentless machinery of capitalism that wears us all down, transforming our essence to fuel their gains, even her own. While this approach might have secured her victory, it came at a significant cost, one that can’t be compensated by any size wallet.

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2025-02-26 06:56