An Ether Scandal: Scoundrels, Riches, and a Hint of Drama

by

What to know:

  • Oh the drama! Ether’s price soared higher than a Victorian ego after whispers of a hacked exchange buying back its own plundered treasure.
  • The cunning thief now possesses 489,000 ETH valued at an opulent $1.34 billion, becoming the 14th-largest holder of this virtual elixir.
  • Experts, with all their solemn gravitas, suggest the pilferer’s stolen stash is as useful as a teapot made of chocolate.

The stage is set—as always—for scandal in the cryptographic underworld. Ether (ETH), that most mercurial of digital darlings, waltzes upwards by over 2.3% in the last 24 hours, leaving Bitcoin sulking in the corner with a mere 0.3% frown. 😏 Meanwhile, the CoinDesk 20 Index barely stretches its legs at 0.76%. Bravo, Ether, you melodramatic rogue!

The intrigue thickens with reports that Bybit, a cryptocurrency exchange recently relieved of $1.5 billion worth of ether (thank you, North Korean hackers, or so the whispers say), has shuffled 100 million USDT into new wallets—like rearranging Titanic’s deck chairs—and used half of it to obtain 36,900 ETH over-the-counter. How magnificently clandestine! 🤫

As crypto-sleuth Colin Wu reveals, citing data from Arkham Intelligence, $101 million worth of these clandestine purchases have now found their way into addresses tagged as belonging to Bybit itself. Bybit’s dashing CEO, Ben Zhou, reportedly proclaimed during an “ask me anything” soiree that their coffers are “far greater than $1.5 billion.” He even boasted of a chilled wallet stashed with a decadent $3 billion in USDT. A veritable Scrooge McDuck amongst us! 🪙

But what of our enigmatic villain? With their 489,000 ETH firmly pocketed (or whatever hackers have in lieu of pockets), they hold 0.4% of the entire ETH supply. Thus, they take their regrettable place as the 14th richest entity in the cryptocurrency levée. Yet this fortune is not merely verboten; it’s practically useless. Like a diamond-laden crown locked in a glass case, any attempt to transfer the funds to a reputable exchange would end in swift exile. ⚔️

As StealthEX CEO Maria Carola aptly put it, “The stolen funds have already been marked, making it extremely difficult for the hacker to employ them for mischief. Any such attempt would result in immediate blockage.” How splendidly tragic! Analysts have even suggested that the hacker’s hoard, comprising 0.4% of the ETH supply, is, for all intents and purposes, lost to the ages. A modern-day treasure sunk beneath the seas of bureaucracy.

And so, dear reader, the curtain falls on yet another act of our ongoing play, “Cryptocurrency: A Comedy of Errors.” One can only hope that tomorrow’s chapter prompts fewer sighs—and perhaps a chuckle or two. 😉

Read More

2025-02-22 19:41