Crisis on the Betting Front: Congress Audits Your Future Wagers!

In a way that feels like the front page of a small-town paper, Lieberman‑Smith and the local Republican, John “Jack‑of‑All‑Trades” Cruz, have set their sights on a new threat: betting on God’s choice of the next president, the next war, the next kill‑joy tragedy. The BETS OFF Act, a call‑out to “Banning Event Trading on Sensitive Operations and Federal Functions,” makes it illegal to gamble on any government move, war, terror, assassination or even a well-timed knee‑slap. It covers the entire swamp, even if it tries to swim offshore.

BTC’s Secret Surge: How Spot Buyers Are Turning the Tables on Short-Term Sellers at $70K

What the Federal Reserve says about future interest rate increases will be the most important part of this week’s meeting. Everyone expects rates to stay the same, so the focus will be on the Fed’s overall message, not on any actual changes. Generally, things are still difficult for investments. With the Fed likely to keep interest rates high for a while, it’s not a good time for risky investments, and even a suggestion that rates might go *up* could cause concern in the market.

Crypto Chaos: SEC & CFTC Declare Most Tokens Not Securities!

In a joint interpretation that reads like a poorly written fairy tale, the agencies have outlined how these crypto critters fit (or don’t fit) under federal securities laws. The highlight? Most crypto assets, they say, are as much securities as a chocolate teapot is useful. Brilliant, isn’t it?

Disco Elysium, Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth, & Final Fantasy IV Pixel Remaster are coming to Xbox Game Pass

Hey gamers, just wanted to let you know some cool games are coming to Game Pass! I’m super excited about Disco Elysium dropping on March 19th, followed by Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth on March 24th. Then, on April 7th, we’re getting the Pixel Remaster of Final Fantasy IV! All of these will be available with Game Pass Ultimate, Premium, or PC Game Pass. And good news for Final Fantasy fans – this Pixel Remaster joins the other three games in the series already on the service. Xbox has all the details and descriptions if you want to check them out.

Ripple Prime’s XRP Gambit: No Sales, No Tears, Just Gains

Higgins, with the gravitas of a man who’s seen more market tides than a seaside hotel concierge, offered a parable for the ages. Picture this: the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, that venerable temple of derivatives, has long treated XRP as an uninvited guest at the buffet. Institutions wishing to trade CME futures? They’d have to sell their XRP, convert it to dollars, and endure the existential crisis of crystallised gains-like watching your favorite scarf shrink in the dryer, but with tax forms.