‘Old Guy’ Review: Christoph Waltz and Cooper Hoffman Aim to Kill, but Misfire

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It’s surprising how a movie starring a two-time Academy Award winner and a well-liked rising actor as quarreling hitmen could be so painfully uneventful, named “Old Guy.” Director Simon West (“Con Air”) and screenwriter Greg Johnson (“The Last Son”) push the overused Grumpy Old Pro vs. Greenhorn trope to new depths in a film that seems incredibly disengaged from providing any of its half-baked ideas. Instead of offering a lively, intelligent action movie about an aging assassin battling professional irrelevance, it transforms into a lifeless, unimportant collection of cliches that discards any emotional or entertaining impact.

Veteran assassin Danny Dolinski (Christoph Waltz), with his distinctive 70s handlebar mustache and vintage leather bomber jacket, is a highly skilled, well-compensated hitman for a British crime syndicate. His rugged appearance serves as protection in the real world, but also marks him as an antique. However, after undergoing hand surgery that leaves him incapacitated for six weeks, his boss Opal (Ann Akinjirin) questions the longevity of Danny’s career. He learns that instead of being retired, he will be partnered with Wihlborg (Cooper Hoffman), a 20-something prodigy rumored to have killed more innocents than intended targets. Upon meeting his young associate, Danny immediately expresses disdain due to Wihlborg’s eccentricities such as painted fingernails, excessive use of pink clothing and vastly different approaches towards assassinations.

The feisty duo hastily departs for Belfast, Ireland, home of Danny, to connect with their associate William (Tony Hirst) and his assistant Simone (Kate Katzman). Accompanying Danny is his girlfriend, a club owner named Anata (Lucy Liu), who serves as a barrier between him and his protege. She’s also there to meet up with a foreign date. William briefs them that their task is to eliminate mafia members Micha (Lauterio Zamparelli), Barbierri (Conor Mullen) and Yatzeck (Rory Mullen) so the UK division can dominate entirely. Eliminating their first target proves challenging for the pair due to Danny’s inaccurate shooting, and their second mission is disrupted by an unexpected obstacle. Not long after, they discover they are marked for assassination themselves.

Initially, the concept may seem captivating. It possesses intriguing aspects that, under skilled direction, could create an engaging experience. However, in this instance, these elements were merely effective at grabbing attention through a catchy trailer. Unfortunately, the movie struggles to maintain interest as it searches for a gripping narrative and a unified plotline for the characters’ lives. The audience is left with minimal motivation to empathize with any of them. Key aspects of these men’s rough personalities, such as Wihlborg being adopted or Dolinski’s mental state, are either disclosed too late or not explained at all in scenes where we’re expected to comprehend their contradictory actions.

This movie, while it may be labeled as a comedy, struggles to find humor in the situations its characters encounter. The potential for witty banter between the two main characters, played by actors of Waltz and Hoffman’s talent, could have made this film shine. However, the dull storyline and uninspired direction lack the necessary spark of humor. Despite the actors’ efforts to bring depth and emotion to their roles, the material fails to deliver. Their arguments are harsh, not amusingly playful. The portrayal of the leads as Boomer and Gen Z stereotypes feels disrespectful to everyone involved, including the viewers. Unfortunately, Liu’s character, a moll, is one-dimensional and spends most of her screen time dealing with toxic men, despite the actress’s attempts to add complexity to the role.

The action sequences in this piece feel rather ordinary and unremarkable, offering just enough to propel the characters from one location to another without much flair or style. Whether it’s a car chase or a nightclub bathed in neon lights reminiscent of “John Wick”, there isn’t much visual finesse on display. The fight scenes and gun battles seem to lack careful planning, frequently ending too quickly after the impact of blows is felt. The overall feeling is one of detachment, especially during crucial character-building moments like when Danny prevents Wihlborg from accidentally shooting a child (Maisy Crowley). This moment, which could have been impactful, is almost overlooked as it’s depicted in a brief and easy-to-miss shot of their brief struggle.

The action scene towards the end is the only moment where the film feels energetic and rhythmic, thanks to Mono Town’s song “Two Bullets” playing during Danny’s comeback. However, after watching all the underwhelming events that lead up to it, not much is gained from the experience. Furthermore, the score of the movie seems divided, moving between catchy guitar tunes by Andrew Simon McAllister, which fit a more comedic buddy-cop scenario, and slick synth tracks by Mono Town, which align more with a spy movie. This musical inconsistency highlights the film’s confusion about its own identity.

As a fan who adores the depth and character development found in films like “In Bruges” and “Grosse Pointe Blank,” I must express my disappointment with this project on multiple fronts. The contract killers within this story seem incapable of detecting traps set for them, and their blind obliviousness as they navigate the criminal underworld is aggravating. It’s disheartening to find myself so far ahead of the unfolding events.

The project lacks substance in nearly every aspect, not just in its reluctance to explore the challenges of aging within an industry that idolizes youth, but also in its failure to breathe fresh life into its genre. This “Old Dog” could certainly use a new trick or two, as it seems to be on its last legs and desperately needs some resuscitation.

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2025-02-20 11:17