As a cinephile with over three decades of film-watching under my belt and a penchant for the offbeat, I must confess that I found “Our Little Secret” to be a festive flop of a Christmas rom-com. It’s like someone took the recipe for a classic holiday movie, replaced the ingredients with Netflix cookie dough, and baked it in a microwave.
I’m perfectly capable of enjoying a cheesy Lindsay Lohan Netflix rom-com. Last year, I liked “Irish Wish,” and got tweaked for it. (I stand by the affection.) But “Our Little Secret,” Lohan’s new Christmas rom-com, is crumpled tinsel of a different order. I’m tempted to say that it achieves full Netflix cookie-cutter. I cringed, I grimaced, I said “No!…,” I forced myself to stop looking at how much time there was left.
In every romantic comedy, there’s usually a plot device, often referred to as the obstacle that prevents our main love interests from being together. However, one of the peculiar flaws of “Our Little Secret” lies in its lack of such an obstacle. An introductory animation gives us a glimpse into Avery (played by Lohan) and Logan’s (Ian Harding) childhood friendship, which blossomed into love. But when we move to 2014, they are grown adults, and Avery is about to leave for an undisclosed job in London. This marks the end of their relationship.
We ponder: Isn’t it logical? The movie portrays them as soulmates, destined for each other. So, if one gets a job in London, wouldn’t they…have a conversation about their future plans? Discuss what steps they might take next?
In a subtle manner, the movie implies that Avery’s career is a significant obstacle in her relationships. During her farewell party, when Logan proposes in a typical romantic comedy fashion, she reacts as if he had made an awkward blunder. She appears shocked because the storyline requires them to be separated and strained. Essentially, this is the only reason for their estrangement in the film. Hailey DeDominicis’ script prioritizes plot development over genuine human feelings.
In the current day, the story unfolds as Avery and Logan return to their hometown. Avery works in a high-powered position, while the nature of Logan’s job remains unspecified. They both have significant others who are less than appealing, reminiscent of clichéd rom-com sidekicks. Avery’s boyfriend, Cameron (played by Jon Rudnitsky), is a chatty cryptocurrency enthusiast, and Logan’s girlfriend, Cassie (Katie Baker), is a manipulative Barbie-doll type. The twist comes when it is revealed that these unpleasant partners are not only siblings but also the reason Avery and Logan have not seen each other for ten years. At an upscale family Christmas party overseen by a formidable WASP matriarch (Kristin Chenoweth), they both decide to conceal their past romantic connection.
Despite the intriguing concept of AI-made movies, “Our Little Secret,” helmed by director Stephen Herek (“Mr. Holland’s Opus”), turns out to be quite awkward. For instance, there’s a scene where Avery, unintentionally high from THC gummies, has to deliver a church speech. In this peculiar scenario, she reinterprets the Nativity story, managing to blend in lyrics from Kool and the Gang’s “Celebrate.” This unexpected move prompts the black choir members and audience to join in the song, leading to a chain reaction where everyone in the church begins singing it. On a scale of awkwardness, this scene ranks quite high at 9.2.
Avery and Logan are attempting to win over Erica, portrayed by Chenoweth with a rigid, snobbish demeanor that borders on self-parody. Lindsay Lohan, subtle and composed, manages to keep up with the extravagance, while Ian Harding, from “Pretty Little Liars,” also holds his ground. However, their relentless pursuit lacks humor, which is part of why they make an interesting pair. The storyline collects all the characters’ secrets (an affair, a late-night drinking spree…and who consumed all the cookies?), only to reveal them in a chaotic Christmas finale. The entire plot is propelled by one of those cheerful, overly optimistic holiday musical scores.
I understand how a film such as “Our Little Secret” operates – Netflix’s influence on the transformation of traditional cheesy movies into something more palatable. Watching this movie, you can see past the flimsy plot devices and laugh at the absurdities, but somehow these elements become part of the charm. It’s like watching mainstream entertainment that’s been demoted to camp. It’s so bland and unchallenging it leaves you feeling content.
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2024-11-27 08:46