The Golden Bachelorette Season-Finale Recap: Bawling in Bora Bora

As a seasoned observer of reality television, I must say that this finale left me feeling like a ship adrift without a rudder. The rollercoaster of emotions was akin to a wild ride on Space Mountain – thrilling at times, but ultimately leaving one with a queasy sensation in the pit of one’s stomach.


The Golden Circle has been fully realized! We’ve completed our first seasons of ‘Golden Bachelor’ and ‘Golden Bachelorette‘, and only time can decide whether Joan or Gerry will have a longer lasting relationship.

Indeed. While one perspective might view this season’s finale of The Bachelor as predictable and lacking excitement, another angle could appreciate it more, especially considering the significant role the weather played in shaping the events of this particular episode. In fact, if we were handing out awards, the Weather would undoubtedly win Best Supporting Actor for its impact on the storyline.

The climax, as usual, takes place live. Jack and Charles are present, appearing to be the sole figures from the season, with Susan and Kathy positioned closely beside them. Imagine if all of them ended up getting married, like in “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers”. I’d gladly purchase tickets for a Jack and Kathy wedding.

Previously, Pascal had departed from Tahiti after informing Joan that he wasn’t in love with her. The next day, Joan was deeply affected by this revelation, much like anyone else might be under similar circumstances. Scenes of her looking distraught are intercut with promotional footage of the cruise ship she’s traveling on. It seems as though the individual handling sponsorships and product placement for this season lost motivation at some point, as evidenced by the apparent lack of effort to seamlessly integrate product placements. In essence, “She’s crying? See if she can mention it’s a Windstar Cruise” could be their motto.

Joan seems to believe she’s undeserving of love and fears she’ll end up alone. The strain on someone at this stage of the show must be immense. Initially, there are 24 potential matches, which later narrow down. The fear of picking the wrong one, leading to national humiliation, is understandable. Viewers might root for you, but the embarrassment is still real. It’s no wonder she’s in tears. Luckily, Nancy returns to offer comfort. One can’t help but wonder why Nancy wasn’t there from the beginning. Having only Jesse and production team as supporters seems unfair. Nancy advises Joan not to let Pascal hold too much influence over her emotions. Many have had similar conversations with tearful friends, haven’t they? “You are simply AMAZING. Don’t let them affect you like this; they should be moved by YOU.” In essence, the sentiment is quite relatable.

Now it’s time for Chock and Guy to encounter Joan’s children. Currently, Guy is relaxing in Bora Bora wearing casual polo shirt and khaki shorts, while Chock prefers a button-up shirt and full khaki pants. Khakis, the preferred choice of travel clothing for a refined gentleman.

Two of Joan’s four kids are in Bora Bora: her son and daughter and their partners. I’m trying to give these kids the benefit of the doubt because they all seem to really love their dad, but I disliked maybe 50 percent of what Joan’s son Nick says. When Joan tells them she struggled a lot with the process because of their dad, Nick tells her she should struggle and it shouldn’t be easy, while her daughter, whose name I didn’t catch, says she calls their dad Joan’s “husband from above.” I’m so sorry, this is fucking weird. My wife and I both have parents who have passed, and if our surviving parents or our siblings referred to them as a “husband/wife from above,” everyone else in the family would stare in confusion and/or disgust.

To begin with, Chock expresses concern early on by telling the camera that “everything I’ve achieved could be at risk” if Joan’s children don’t accept him. It sounds like something a character in a drama might say. “My endeavors will be put in jeopardy if they suspect my true intentions,” Chock dramatizes, in a rather melodramatic manner. Now, I’m not saying Chock is definitely a dramatic character; I’m just suggesting he could choose his words more carefully. Since week one, I’ve been expressing my doubts about Chock. He later tells Joan’s kids that he kissed her in front of the whole family to demonstrate her significance to him. That seems quite unusual!!

It’s possible that Joan is content with the situation since Nick has expressed that she has a lot on her plate due to having four kids, and needs someone who truly understands this. However, when speaking with Chock, Nick implied that he could fill his father’s role, which immediately made Chock clarify that he wasn’t there to replace Nick’s dad but rather to court his mother. Nick was pleased with this and recommended Chock to Joan. Towards the end of their interaction, Nick unexpectedly praised Joan for her courage in participating in the show and expressed pride in her from him and his siblings. This could be seen as a last-minute attempt to win her over by Nick at the visit’s conclusion.

In simpler terms, Chock makes Joan sit down and hands her a gift. It seems they’ve discussed spending time together in New York, so he gives her a key with a heart-shaped padlock and mentions they should share a place in the city. Goodness gracious! Or my word! Despite not liking him much, this gesture has certainly won me over. He proposes to her, and Joan looks thrilled. Of course she does! She was anxious before, but now Chock is ready to invest in New York real estate with her.

The following day, Guy intends to gather with the children. However, a heavy rainfall occurs, which he insists won’t dampen his spirits or prevent him from enjoying the company of Joan. Oh, Guy. He’s always so optimistic and eager to see Joan. On the other hand, Joan shares that she spent her morning reflecting on her moments with Chock and recognized that she had found love. And so, a decision has been made! Now, she must end things with Guy during a stormy evening in a hut at Bora Bora. They sit on the familiar “Bachelor” breakup couch, and she begins by maintaining a positive tone before abruptly revealing her heart belongs to someone else. She wishes to shield him from meeting her family and being left alone on their final day together. Alright. ALRIGHT. This is quite considerate of her. It’s difficult to watch, but leading someone through a proposal only to potentially break their heart is genuinely unfair, and it would be better if they stopped it altogether.

The man expresses his emotions, they embrace, and he makes a loud sound of relief. He shares with her how wonderful he felt that day, to which she responds by expressing her affection for him, albeit in a unique manner. Overwhelmed by this revelation, the man mentions his plans to propose to her children, who are Joan’s kids. At this point, Joan gracefully replies, “Thank you for loving me so deeply.” I’ve often criticized Joan for her listening abilities, but in this instance, she truly impressed me with her thoughtful response. Feeling awestruck, I exclaimed internally, “Wow, excellent job, ma’am!” Afterward, he escorts her out and remains standing in the pouring rain.

During the live segment of the show, we find Guy hanging backstage, taking it all in. Let’s spare him from witnessing that! He needs to engage with Jesse Palmer instead of breaking down the whole time. As he steps onto the stage, he looks fabulous. Check out his stylish suit. Wow, someone should ask Guy out! However, there’s that complication regarding the restraining order…

Joan appears to imply that if she and Guy had been dating in real life rather than on the show, she would have ended up with him. She frequently mentions the poor timing of the show and how it wasn’t suitable for them. If I were Chock, I wouldn’t appreciate this discussion. Joan also points out that Guy took care of everyone in the house, which is evident from his actions. For instance, he helped Charles understand his wife’s final moments, was the only one to sing “Mansion Men” with Kim, and attempted to prevent Chock from being rude at the bowling alley. In summary, their conversation suggests a deeper bond between Joan and Guy.

We shift to the previously recorded segment now, as Guy is no longer present. Essentially, Chock presents his proposal, which is when I began to lose focus. The weather, as usual, keeps things intriguing, with strong winds blowing around. I can’t help but worry about Joan’s hair, given its delicate nature. Joan mentions that she had envisioned a future with Chock from the beginning, and so on, and so forth. He proposes, she accepts, and she hands him the golden rose. Then, they video call her mother to share the exciting news, while “A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes” plays softly in the background as they kiss passionately on a boat.

Towards the end of the final episode, Joan and Chock stepped forward for an interview. It seems like Chock might be getting some tanning advice from a very prominent person, as he appears to be quite orange. He complimented Joan on her classiness during the show, which left me puzzled about what he’s trying to protect her from. Joan admitted that she had wanted to tell Chock she loved him for a while, and every time they met recently, she felt the urge to say it. It’s clear, JOAN. You can’t hide your feelings! Jesse commented that they both looked radiant, but that was just the orange glow. However, Chock continued to look up from under his eyebrows with his head tilted down, a pose often seen in movie serial killers when they’re observing people.

If the information seems disjointed, it indeed is! This conclusion was quite scattered. In a surprising turn, Jesse Palmer informs us that college football playoffs will now consist of 12 teams. Wait, what? Why are we discussing this here? A football statue stands beside Jesse – I understand it’s on ESPN and both ABC and ESPN belong to Disney, but this was an unexpected advertisement. To round things off, Jesse invites Joan and Chock, along with their families, to Disney World. He also mentions Tiana’s Bayou Adventure and Slinky Dog Dash. Oh my goodness, why? It seems the Sponsorships Person needs to be let go. Unless they’re not the same as the Product Integration Person, in that case, both of them should be dismissed.

Lastly, we get a preview of Grant’s season of The Bachelor. I didn’t watch the most recent Bachelorette season and have no idea who this man is, but his season looks super messy, so that should be fun. He also gives us the best quote of the whole episode while explaining his tattoo: “This is a lone wolf. It symbolizes being alone.” Oh, Grant. Anyway, cheers to a predictable but unsatisfying ending to the season!

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2024-11-14 22:54