A real-life trauma therapist unpacks Yellowstone’s toxic Dutton family dynamic

As a psychologist who has spent years delving into the complexities of human behavior, I can’t help but be captivated by the tumultuous lives of the Dutton family in Yellowstone. Each character seems to embody a different facet of the human struggle – the need for power, the yearning for love, and the quest for redemption.

The notoriously disliked family on TV returns with Yellowstone’s Season 5 Part 2; thus, we sought advice from an expert to explore various ways the Dutton clan could use some assistance. (Be wary of potential spoilers!)

Among many TV families, their behavior often makes viewers appreciate their own families more, but the Duttons truly redefine what it means to be “dysfunctional.

Investigating the root causes behind the morally questionable behavior of the Dutton family isn’t an effortless task, given their ancestry spans over a century. To help us dissect the thoughts and actions of these seemingly malevolent members, we sought guidance from a seasoned psychotherapist.

Let’s delve into the initial anger displayed by Beth and the lasting effects of Kayce’s internal struggle as we explore these ranching individuals more closely.

Beth Dutton: The meanest woman in Montana

Among the Dutton kids, it’s Beth, the sole daughter, who is particularly famous for her untamed anger. Growing up, Beth was nurtured by her mother to be a determined woman, well-versed in the hardships of life. Regrettably, when Evelyn passed away following an incident with her horse, her final utterances were directed at Beth, blaming her for the accident. (Oh dear.)

Consequently, Beth appears to harbor significant resentment as an adult, showing little mercy. It’s evident that she experienced some form of past distress.

Janet Bayramyan, a licensed social worker specializing in EMDR therapy for trauma and proprietor of Road to Wellness Therapy, shared some insights on how Beth might embark on healing her strained relationship with her mother as she progresses through her life.

Beth might learn to see her mother’s sternness as more related to Evelyn’s personal struggles and insecurities, rather than a reflection of Beth’s own value,” she pointed out. “Understanding this could free Beth from self-accusation.

It’s no secret that many members of the Dutton family would benefit from the best therapy money could buy. When it comes to Beth specifically, Bayramyan had a few ideas of where she could start.

She cited trauma-informed approaches as a suggestion, including Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) or Somatic Experiencing therapy.

By adopting methods such as mindfulness or self-care techniques, Beth may learn to cultivate a more compassionate internal dialogue, thereby balancing out the critical perspective she acquired during her upbringing,” she explained.

Perhaps Beth might consider revising her recollections of her mother, concentrating on deciphering Evelyn’s motives (despite their flaws), without condoning the hurt she inflicted. This could potentially bring Beth solace regarding her mother’s behavior.

Evelyn Dutton’s strict approach stemmed from the conviction that the world could be unforgiving, and it was essential to toughen Beth up. Yet, it seems that her techniques may have caused more harm than intended.

Admittedly, at times I find myself resonating with Beth’s biting wit and intense reactions towards the world. To put it straightforwardly, they do seem familiar to me.

Bayramyan explained that Beth’s frequent anger and aggressive responses to her feelings could be seen as a common – though problematic – response for someone who experienced trauma during their childhood. In challenging upbringings marked by harshness, emotional indifference, or overly critical parenting, individuals frequently develop coping strategies to shield themselves.

Trauma may trigger survival reactions such as ‘fight’, ‘flight’, ‘freeze’, or ‘fawn’. For Beth, her anger signifies the ‘fight’ response – an attempt to reclaim control and demonstrate power in circumstances where she usually feels helpless. Evelyn’s stern behavior may have led Beth to believe that exposing vulnerability is a form of weakness.

Beth sometimes employs anger as a barrier to hide feelings such as sadness, fear, or embarrassment, which she may view as potentially harmful or inappropriate.

Jamie Dutton’s sad life story

Although Beth stands out as the most formidable among the Dutton siblings, it’s Jamie who doesn’t quite fit the family mold, often referred to as the black sheep. As children, Jamie shared the dream of being a cowboy with his kin. However, it was John Dutton who steered him towards law school instead, viewing a lawyer as a more practical asset for their family.

In essence, Jamie’s life wasn’t what he had chosen; this truth unfolds in Season 3 when he learns he was adopted. His biological father ended his birth mother’s life when he was an infant, and the Duttons took him under their wing, raising him as one of their own. From that moment on, Jamie developed a deep-seated animosity towards the Dutton family.

Jamie’s behavior, given his lifetime of feeling like an outcast, can be sympathized with and perhaps even excused, as suggested by Bayramyan. His harsh reaction to learning about his adoption might be seen as “justified” or “understandable”.

The way Jamie Dutton responds – with thoughts of revenge, defiance, and a strong need for self-determination – is a typical and understandable reaction from someone dealing with identity crises and long-term emotional control,” she clarified.

Jamie’s identity, which had been solidly constructed upon unwavering loyalty towards the Dutton family, crumbled when he learned about his adoption. This revelation left him feeling lost and disoriented, like a ship without anchor.

She mentioned that John Dutton comes across as overbearing and not open to expressing his emotions, so it’s probably not in his nature to provide the sensitivity or understanding that Jamie required.

Indeed, Jamie openly displayed his feelings towards Sarah Atwood, but unfortunately, this led to the unfortunate demise of John.

In the latest installment, I can’t help but feel Jamie’s sorrow and remorse oozing from every scene. It seems that he won’t find resolution regarding his tumultuous past with his adoptive father. Rather than confronting the Duttons to seek vengeance, perhaps Jamie could have found solace by releasing his grip on the past instead.

In Bayramyan’s opinion, it could have benefited Jamie’s well-being more if he chose to depart from his family without seeking retribution. This would enable him to concentrate on constructing a fresh life instead of being overwhelmed by anger.

Beth and Jamie: The sinister siblings

Instead of John vs. real estate moguls, it’s actually Beth and Jamie Dutton who have the most challenging relationship within the series Yellowstone. These siblings are constantly at odds, and their lives seem to center around their mutual animosity towards one another.

Throughout their maturity, their lives are saturated with bitterness and malice. It’s become Beth’s personal crusade to inflict emotional and physical harm on Jamie, an act prompted by his agreement to a procedure that sterilized her against her will during her teenage years.

According to Bayramyan, the bond between Jamie and Beth on Yellowstone is clearly poisonous, built upon numerous layers of pain, anger, and deceit.

Both figures carry significant flaws, and their ongoing conflict stems from an unhealed wound caused by a traumatic childhood incident that drastically changed their relationship.

As Beth’s hostility towards Jamie intensifies over time, a pressing issue arises: has she crossed a line? Is the torment she inflicts on Jamie justified, given that it stems from their shared past traumas as children?

At least, it’s reasonable to comprehend how Bayramyan sees Beth feeling about her adopted brother based on their shared history.

The persistent harassment of Jamie by Beth originates from the deep hurt and deception she experienced when he made a significant life choice for her – having her sterilized without obtaining her prior consent. It’s clear why she’s angry, as Jamie’s actions took away her control over such a deeply personal matter,” she pointed out.

Kayce Dutton, Yellowstone’s golden boy

There’s not a huge amount to unpack with Kayce. His troubled relationship with his father is one he almost managed to remove himself from entirely, until he was dragged back into the Dutton fold in Season 1.

Kayce’s primary concerns in life are his wife, Monica, and son, Tate. There have been a few close calls regarding the well-being of his family, but he has generally shown great determination. Nevertheless, his greatest challenge lies in finding a balance between his allegiance to the Dutton family and his own personal convictions.

Instead of staying loyal to his family and working on the ranch, is it wiser for him to embark on a fresh journey with Monica and Tate, leaving others behind?

Regardless of the path he chooses, Bayramyan believes that Kayce’s tough decision will probably lead to severe, lasting repercussions for him, essentially making a contented conclusion elusive for him.

She pointed out that this inner struggle underscores the devastating impact of overly intertwined family dynamics and unresolved past hurts.

In a complex and ruthless environment ruled by power struggles, loyalty, and family duties that often take precedence over individual desires, Kayce finds it extremely difficult to break free entirely, as doing so could bring about significant repercussions.

What’s the solution?

In the ninth episode of Yellowstone’s fifth season, John Dutton has met his end. This staged suicide, however, leaves a gaping hole that prevents his children from resolving their personal struggles and even questioning him about the reasons behind their past.

If John were still among us, there’d be a sliver of optimism for this family. Essentially, what they need is therapeutic care for each and every one of the Duttons, stretching all the way up to 1883.

Bayramyan stated that family therapy might aid the Duttons in understanding and addressing their deep-rooted issues like manipulative behaviors, conflicts over loyalty, and poor communication.

In essence, seeking therapy could have helped the Dutton family address complex matters like John’s preoccupation with heritage, Beth’s lingering resentment, Jamie’s self-doubt, and Kayce’s challenge in striking a balance between his various life aspects.

Still, there was always the possibility of a catch.

As I eagerly awaited the premiere of Part 2, I shared my insights about John. His robust character and reluctance to acknowledge mistakes could potentially impede the success of therapy. It’s plausible that he might perceive therapy as a sign of weakness or an assault on his leadership role.

What insights might Yellowstone viewers (including the Dutton family) draw from their challenges thus far, according to Bayramyan? His perspective is quite straightforward.

She advised treating each child uniquely, respecting their aspirations, anxieties, and requirements, instead of viewing them merely as continuations of one’s own heritage. She cautioned that a legacy lacking in genuine connections might not bring the satisfaction you anticipate.

2024-11-11 18:20