The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: British Bulldogs

As a longtime viewer of this reality show, I must say that I find myself deeply intrigued by the complex dynamics among these women. It seems to me that Alexis, with her penchant for drama and deceit, is the heart of this season’s narrative.


As a passionate film buff, I find myself astonished by the fact that we’re already 18 seasons deep into the Real Housewives saga, yet only the second mammogram party comes to mind. Kyle Richards and Lisa Rinna ventured into this health check during season nine of “Women Living Large,” but that’s it (as far as I recall). Why aren’t more shows incorporating mammogram parties? This could be the most engaging plotline! It brings the ladies together, allowing them to discuss ongoing show developments, and once they’re done, we can all gather around, hearts pounding, as they navigate the chilling prospect of a life-threatening illness in real time. Here’s to doctors, hospitals, impending doom, and high drama – all while appreciating the unique beauty of women!

Reflecting on the latest episode of our show, I found myself reminiscing about Jenn’s revelation regarding Alexis Bellino’s dramatic reaction to being ‘un-invited’ from the London trip due to Shannon’s text. To put it mildly, Shannon then read aloud a scathing email from Alexis, who in her response said something along the lines of “Here’s the door, Shannon Beador.” In this email, Alexis implied that since Shannon was organizing this lavish European trip with our friends, she could somehow find a way to repay the $75,000 debt she owed to Alexis’s future husband. It’s just one more example of how Alexis continues to display her unkindness and poor behavior. Interestingly, Shannon had offered to pay back the money, but Alexis’s spouse simply refused to accept it. Trying to cast aspersions on Shannon by suggesting she’s financially struggling is not a wise move in my book.

It’s my belief that every woman deserves regular check-ups, and Heather Dubrow truly deserves recognition for her role in encouraging this. In an episode that struck a chord with viewers, we learn about Shannon who admitted to skipping a mammogram for a decade. Here in the U.K., women aged 50 to 70 are advised to have one every three years, so Shannon missed out on a few opportunities. Meanwhile, Jenn discovered a lump in her breast that she didn’t investigate for five months. Although I don’t share their physical experiences, I can’t help but feel that if this show manages to inspire even a handful of women to prioritize their breast health, it might just make up for some of the negative impacts it has had on our culture.

It turns out Jenn’s lump is probably just a scar from her implants, and the weird lump they found in Gina’s mammogram was just a lymph node, but Gina didn’t even know that you can find a lymph node in her lovely lady lumps (check it out!). We really needed this doctor’s visit. As everyone is getting ready to leave, they’re comparing their results, and Shannon says, “Turns out my breasts are still very dense, even at 60.” After that, everyone stopped talking, went about their days, and no one asked Heather Dubrow how she was feeling.

At the London dinner, Tamra inquires from Heather about the test outcomes, possibly prompted by Heather herself, a producer, or someone else. Emotionally overwhelmed, Heather confesses that no one had inquired about her wellbeing. Heather! Why must she be asked? If Shannon shared her concerns about dense breasts, wouldn’t it be natural for Heather to share her own situation, given the same concern due to her high risk? You are among friends; feel free to discuss your life experiences, especially if seeking comfort. After all, these are your friends. It’s not just about looking for reasons to be upset. (I will acknowledge that Heather has mentioned having a 40% risk factor, which is significantly higher than the usual 11%. This is a reasonable exaggeration to enhance her narrative without resorting to outright fabrication.)

The big happening of the trip was that everyone piled into JetBlue’s Mint business class seats for a lovely, promotional consideration trip to London. On the plane, Emily brushes her teeth and rinses with Dr. Pepper, which is the only nastier combination than Malibu rum and Diet Pepsi. They land in London and head straight to the May Fair hotel, which is in Mayfair, on the Upper East Side of London. It is also the same hotel where Sonja Tremont Morgan of the Icy Hot Morgans washed her face in a bidet during a RHONY trip to London in season five.

Ugh, I’m not sure how I feel about having these ladies in my adopted hometown of London. I have never heard someone say “cheerio” or “spot of tea” in my six years here. There is a butcher near my house who unironically calls customers “gov’nah” but that’s as stereotypically English as you’re going to get. I have also never eaten a crumpet unless by crumpet you mean an English man’s backside, then I have eaten plenty. Also “trousers” means pants and “pants” means underwear. Oh, and you pronounce Thames like “tems,” you pronounce Leicester Square like “Lester” Square, and you pronounce King Charles III like “justice for Diana, down with the monarchy, abolish the House of Lords.” I hope that helps (and that no one sees this recap when I apply for citizenship in four years).

Upon their arrival at the hotel, Heather finds Shannon’s flirting with the attractive concierge rather conspicuous. This could have been the source of Shannon’s idea to place the keys in a bowl for each woman to pick, aiming for a gathering of swingers. However, it turned out to be more of a mundane and organized way to assign rooms instead. Katie ended up in the “Opium” themed room, which has some Asian influences, but one can’t help but wonder if that theme isn’t somewhat problematic and potentially culturally insensitive.

After that, the women embark on a speedboat trip along the River Thames, yet it’s more like a thrill ride; it seems quite intimidating, and unsurprisingly, Heather Dubrow declines the invitation. If it’s posh, she’s all in. If it’s amusing, forget about it. Heather Dubrow owns many things – multiple dining room table runners, an extensive collection of thongs, a deceased chipmunk where compassion should reside – but enjoyment is not among them.

At the rooftop restaurant I’m eagerly planning to visit soon to see if Shannon’s perfume lingers, Katie confides in the other women about her impending journey to South Korea to locate her birth mother. Katie shares that her mother was just 15 when she gave birth and had to work right up until labor began. She attempted to keep Katie but, after three days, recognized she couldn’t. Katie expresses her desire to return and express gratitude for the tough yet beneficial choice her mother made and assure her of a fulfilling life. Gosh, what’s this unexpected dampness on my face? Could it be perspiration? Perhaps mist? Is it even toothpaste and Dr. Pepper? It can’t be, could it… be tears?

From here on out, things take an unexpectedly intense turn. I find myself drawn into the heart of the matter as Tamra and Heather choose to revisit something Shannon mentioned on Jeff Lewis’s radio show. The impact of this conversation, coupled with its significance in the latest season of RHONY, has truly catapulted this radio show to the forefront of Bravo. During the show, Shannon admitted that she and John were discussing finances, and John said, “I wish you could get a low interest loan,” to which Shannon replied, “Well, you have money.” This exchange certainly suggests a loan was in question. Additionally, when Jeff Lewis posed the question about whether John might’ve heard about Shannon’s DUI, she expressed that it hadn’t crossed her mind – despite previously sharing a similar anecdote with Heather during their trip to Sonoma.

Heather confronts Shannon as she believes Shannon exploited her for promoting Shannon’s views regarding John. Tamra accuses Shannon of deceit, suggesting that Shannon had already considered the idea before denying it. This accusation enrages Shannon, causing her to storm off from the table. The issue is, the table is separated by a wall of bars, so while Shannon waits for an elevator, the women continue talking negatively about her. Through the bars, Shannon argues that she’s not a victim because victims dwell on their misfortune and feel sorry for themselves, but instead, she’s progressing in life. However, Shannon’s statement may not entirely hold true as some people who are wronged can still move forward with their lives without necessarily being labeled as victims. For instance, Kevin Bacon was a victim of Bernie Madoff’s fraud, yet he continued his life’s work. The response to victimization doesn’t always define whether one is or isn’t a victim.

It’s clear now that Heather and Tamra are correct in their assessment. In that scene, I believe Shannon manipulated things to her advantage when it comes to Heather and JJ Squared. She learned about some damaging videos of herself that John and Alexis had, so she went to Heather’s room to craft a storyline favorable to herself. Even as it unfolded, it felt quite straightforward. We all realized that Shannon asked her friend Jeff to bring up the topic of John not hearing the accident, so she could respond to it. Just like Tamra mentioned, this kind of manipulation is something Shannon frequently does on this reality show.

It’s clear that Shannon played a significant role in these events, though it seems many viewers might not find it interesting. The truth is, Shannon didn’t take the initiative; she responded to situations as they unfolded. Alexis was the one who brought the videos to light, and when Shannon learned about them, she retaliated. Later, she appeared on Jeff Lewis’ show for an hour (a point Tamra often emphasizes) not to attack them, but rather to respond to their actions, which she rightfully criticized. Thus, Heather and Tamra are technically correct, but they may be missing the emotional aspect of Shannon’s reactions.

Following Shannon’s sudden departure, Tamra shares her thoughts in a confessional, implying that Shannon might have gone to the bar. The scene then shifts to Tamra ordering a Diet Coke and vodka soda at the bar. The editors’ timing could not have been more amusing or ironic. However, when Gina joins Tamra, an intriguing detail comes to light. Shannon reveals that while texting Alexis to disinvite her, she stumbled upon texts from 2018 where Alexis threatened to sue Shannon. Initially, at the start of the season, Shannon claimed no involvement in Jim Bellino’s costly lawsuit against both Tamra and herself. In these texts, Alexis states, “We have engaged an attorney,” and “You will be hearing from our attorney.” Therefore, it appears that Alexis has indeed been involved in two lawsuits against Shannon, making her the greatest deceiver among them all.

Ponder over Alexis, now back in Orange County, reclining in bed, struggling to draft her text. This will be her last move for the season before she faces intense criticism at the reunion. The sound of keys tapping on the screen echoes as she composes and erases her message to Shannon multiple times. Calling out over the sound of running water after their 14th amorous encounter that day, she asks Johnny about her text, suggesting the suit and mentioning Shannon’s wealth. They agree it’s concise and witty. However, one question remains unanswered: Which emoji should seal her message? She initially considers the “see no evil monkey” to suggest Shannon ought to be ashamed of poverty, but discards that idea. Then she ponders over the Union Jack or Beefeater guard, but finds them too intricate. What about a “money with wings” emoji? But that might imply their money flying into Shannon’s pockets instead.

Alexis scrolls through various emojis, her eyes straining from the small images, eventually developing a slight headache. She arrives at her frequently used emojis and spots the one in the upper left corner – the one she uses often, the one that holds deep meaning for her. Selecting the “hands forming a heart” emoji, she feels as if she’s auditioning for Love Island with her introduction video. Indeed, it suits Alexis perfectly. It embodies her ideals, representing an over-the-top, manufactured love devoid of emotional effort. It’s a performance, a facade of caring without the genuine feelings behind it. It’s professing love, but with a touch of irony, expressing disdain, hiding disdain, and even transforming disdain into love until it shapes itself into a heart. Yes, this is the one she wants. This will suffice. Alexis hits send, and as her message zips away, she believes she’s heard the sound of her spirit departing her body to greet Space Jesus.

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2024-10-11 06:54