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Slow Horses Competence Index: Many Jobs Well Done

Oct 9, 2024

Slow Horses Competence Index: Many Jobs Well Done

As a seasoned viewer of this gripping series, I must say that it has become increasingly apparent that the characters we follow are as complex and multifaceted as the plots they find themselves entangled in.

In our previous setup, we had a weekly ranking of characters on the show who were struggling most in their jobs or personal lives, due to everyone’s unique brand of incompetence. However, they managed to pull it together in the season finale, making the entire concept redundant. Thus, we’re now introducing a new feature – the first and potentially last “Slow Horses” Competence Index, celebrating those who excel at their roles!

Apologies for any confusion I might have caused earlier with my enthusiasm about “Slow Horses.” You see, throughout the series, I’ve been chuckling at their perceived incompetence. However, when we reached the finale, things took an unexpected turn. Most characters stepped up their game, showing competence that was almost surprising. Almost everyone, that is, except for Claude who remains a bit of a bumbling character, and the Dogs who continue to struggle with capturing high-value targets. Roddy, well, he’s just being Roddy.

It seems River might find himself in an uncomfortable position too, considering the revelation about his parentage – Frank Harkness being his father, and his grandfather trading his mother for the arsenal of weapons and false identities that fueled years of terrorism. That’s quite a lot to process. After the whirlwind of events this season subsides, he might need a long rest.

Additionally, there were other events, some of which were quite distressing. However, we’ll delve into those details later on. This series was both thrilling and emotional, offering a unique blend of entertainment and heartache.

Unranked

Claude: It’s a blast to see this individual who seems overconfident yet underqualified, getting outsmarted by every woman he encounters. I can’t wait for him to return next season and continue to get tricked!

10.
Shirley

I’m deeply moved by Shirley’s situation, and I’d rather not discuss it just yet. However, let me note that her actions toward Patrice were unexpected, showing remarkable growth and self-restraint – qualities seldom displayed by characters on this TV series. Frankly, I feel a sense of pride in her. Yet, my predominant emotion is sadness for her. For now, I’d rather not delve deeper into the subject.

9.
Roddy

This week featured plenty of humor from Roddy, such as mistaking a non-gunshot injury for gunfire, suspecting Catherine of all people was setting a trap, and declaring he’s “back on the market” which he then specified as the “sex market.” It seems like everyone else assumed otherwise!

I love this awful little creepo.

8.
Louisa

One scene from this episode that I particularly enjoyed: Louisa, in essence, countermanded Claude’s shoot-to-kill command regarding River by boldly approaching Flyte and effectively scolding him like a parent reprimanding a mischievous child in public.

7.
Catherine

It appears that Catherine seems to have returned to the Park, doesn’t it? Her behavior in the office is reminiscent of her being in charge, with instructions like “Look in that drawer!” or “Jiggle the handle!”, typical office tasks. I wonder if anyone else would be willing to work there given her management style and all that has transpired. Last time Claude brought someone new into the office, he found himself pressured into giving her a raise just for her to go back to her old job.

Let’s just call it: Catherine is back. I’m very excited.

6.
Coe

Coe did three endearing things this week after barely uttering a word all season:

➼ heaved a pot of boiling water at an assassin while everyone else was flailing about over guns

Convincingly explained to Shirley that she should spare Patrice, as it was apparent Shirley had feelings for Marcus and it was likely Marcus wouldn’t approve of such an action.

➼ killed Patrice himself five seconds after Shirley left the room

There’s something unusual about this… It’s hard to put into words, but in this particular instance, the act of killing an unarmed man who was already handcuffed and no longer posed a threat… well, it feels somewhat unexpected or even inappropriate, if I may say so.

5.
Frank Harkness

On one side: Managed to get him freed from detention despite the accusations of multiple murders, leading a mercenary group including his own offspring, one who turned against him and caused a massive explosion in downtown London. He’s certainly not a good person, but it’s questionable if any of this can be attributed to incompetence.

Conversely: Didn’t you catch my point about him being such an awful father that one of his warrior offspring resorted to bombing a building filled with innocents as the sole means of communication? And let’s not forget the part where his warrior progeny are now deceased. Plus, there’s the fact that he is River’s secret father, which sheds more light than it should, at least from a “man with a heroic complex who enjoys going off-script and often leaves chaos in his wake” standpoint.

In my humble opinion, Hugo Weaving’s captivating performance as a villain truly elevates any series he graces with his presence. Here’s hoping that shows like Doctor Odyssey seize this opportunity and let him rule the screen for an entire season, making the journey even more enthralling!

4.
Marcus

I am sad. I am sad about Marcus. He had problems, sure. His gambling addiction led to lots of bad choices. He got a little too excited about getting into firefights. He wasn’t a very good spy, honestly, about which we were reminded a few episodes ago when he blew Shirley’s tail and got thrown through a window in a 90-ish-second span. But still, man … I liked Marcus.

This program delivers an emotional punch, no doubt about it. It’s filled with laughter, excitement, and a touch of sadness too. The villains often meet their match, yet even after all the adventures Spider has been through, this one leaves me concerned about Shirley. I can’t help but worry.

3.
Moira the New/Old Office Manager

Got her job back.

Got a raise.

Only has to work four days a week.

Has her boss petrified because she can ruin his career and life any time she wants.

Moira is living the dream. I am so proud of her.

2.
Jackson

Jackson seems to find himself frequently entering spaces containing deceased individuals. In Bad Sam’s hidden chamber, he discovered his lifeless body. Similarly, upon entering Slough House, he encountered Marcus’s corpse. For most people, the psychological impact of such repeated exposure would be a cause for concern. However, when it comes to Jackson, this doesn’t seem to faze him much. Instead, he appears more content that there are fewer individuals around to disturb his peace.

As a cinephile, I’ve got to say, while that joke was amusing, it doesn’t ring true for me. Deep down, he’s got feelings he keeps hidden, like an old salted popcorn kernel guarding its sweetness. He was genuinely saddened by Sam’s departure, not just because there was one less grumpy old storyteller, but because they shared a bond that went beyond their tales of war.

If he’s not careful, someone might try to hug him soon.

1.
River

Look at how Mr. Suddenly Capable has turned things around! Not only did he uncover the paternity mystery involving Frank, but he also confronted him at the train station and delivered some sharp remarks about the situation. However, just as things were heating up, the Dogs arrived to apprehend Frank. With a single live grenade hidden in his hoodie, this is an example of progress for our protagonist.

Additionally, there were personal issues at play. The choice to place his grandfather in a care facility undoubtedly was painful. Discovering that his real father is a notorious scoundrel and villain likely wasn’t enjoyable. However, it made the final scene all the more heartwarming. Somehow, despite years of misunderstandings, heated exchanges, and deep-rooted traumas that could fill a therapy practice, Jackson, who typically pushes people away, and River, who yearned for a father figure all his life, seemed to be … finding a connection? Slightly?

After Marcus’s passing and until the show resumes, I’m relieved there will be a pause. The intensity of my feelings wouldn’t allow me to cope with another episode so soon.

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2024-10-09 11:54