How to Die Alone Recap: Facing Flight

As a therapist who specializes in family dynamics and personal growth, I find this episode to be a profound exploration of sibling relationships, fear management, and the pursuit of love. Brian’s struggles as a caretaker resonate with me, as I’ve seen many clients juggle responsibilities while yearning for intimacy. His connection with Melissa, reminiscent of a dance between two halves of a whole, is beautiful to witness.


The series How to Die Alone finds its stride halfway through its run, offering a familiar yet unconventional progression that avoids tired cliches. In an era where television shows are often rushed due to shorter seasons and limited budgets, this show skillfully employs common TV tropes to advance the narrative while presenting unique dialogue and allowing actors like Natasha Rothwell and Bashir Salahuddin to breathe life into their characters. An example of this is the Thanksgiving episode, a staple in various genres that offers an opportunity for ensemble acting and insight into the main character’s psyche through family dynamics, resulting in compelling television. The critically praised “Fishes” episode from The Bear serves as a recent example of how effectively Thanksgiving can be used to set the stage for drama, and How to Die Alone follows suit with a similarly impactful portrayal – albeit with less shouting and more laughter.

The holiday gathering for Melissa is filled with familiar Thanksgiving tropes: from the subtle jabs from family members (“I didn’t realize Rainbow was selling blazers.”) to a harried mom of young children attempting to win over her mother-in-law, not forgetting the amusing airport chaos scene. However, it’s the intimate moments within this pattern and the discussions they provoke that underscore the authenticity of the series. Dressed in her neatly pressed hair, new blazer, and armed with work updates, Melissa embodies our collective experience of returning home as a blend of our past, present, and aspirational selves. The poignant drama How to Die Alone beautifully portrays how family gatherings trigger a sense of existentialism in us, as we revert to old childhood behaviors that directly reflect our fears, traumas, achievements, and dreams as adults. For Melissa and her brother Brian, sibling rivalry, mourning their father while dealing with feelings of abandonment, and the weight of making their mother proud persistently influence their adult perspective.

In episode four, we’ve seen a glimpse of Melissa’s relationship with Brian, which isn’t particularly close as they often argue. Tensions escalate significantly when Brian hosts Thanksgiving at his house after their mother, Beverly, is unable to cook due to an accident. As Sara prepares the Boston Market take-out to make it seem homemade (though Grandma Beverly would never be fooled), Brian slips away to a bathroom to secretly chat with a woman named Tia on a dating app, hinting at his discomfort about facing Melissa during Thanksgiving. What he doesn’t admit is that he suspects Melissa of stealing his social security number, but he chooses not to confront her to keep their mother content. Unaware of the situation, Tia is actually Melissa pretending to be someone else in an attempt to catch Brian cheating. They exchange messages throughout the day, with Brian unwittingly expressing his feelings about Melissa, creating even more strife in reality.

Beverly arrives first with a witty sidekick friend, prepared to judge Sara’s white woman cooking to the best of her ability, complete with a bag of seasonings brought “just in case.” Then, Melissa joins, anxious to introduce her family to the new her, gushing about management training and her forthcoming Maui trip, but immediately catches digs from her mother, placing her firmly on the defense. Overhearing Melissa talk about Maui, Brian also finds himself on the defense, questioning how she found the money to fund such a trip. As dinner proceeds, Melissa and Brian continue to throw shots — though there is a brief armistice as they wait for Beverly to wrap up her amazingly theatrical prayer — until telling childhood stories turns into a blowout fight about Brian’s daddy issues (I do have to agree, though, The Lion King is the crown jewel of American animation). Sara urges Melissa to cut Brian some slack, casually dropping the bomb that they’re planning to have another kid. Shocked, Melissa messages Brian as Tia, asking to meet in person later that night.

Brian ditches his family to meet with Tia after dinner, saying he’s getting drinks with his friend. Melissa arrives, ready to eviscerate her brother for his duplicitous behavior. They quickly return to bickering, unleashing their insecurities and resentments under the guise of an argument. Brian rants on about the pressures of manhood, and Melissa ruminates about feeling put down by their mother as Brian looks down from his pedestal. They push each other’s buttons and stomp on nerves like no one but your sibling can, but the anger drives them to openly express the hard feelings chipping away at their relationship. Brian takes it to the finish line with a final blow — he says Melissa is a “35-year-old with a dead-end job and no friends to pick her up from the hospital. She is so broke and so dishonest that she stole my identity.” With the truth on the table, Melissa admits to both counts of identity theft, telling Brian about Elise’s credit cards but asking for empathy for what she’s been through, promising she’s grown as a person. Brian denounces the scamming, but the siblings let their guards down after a childhood memory acts as a balm for their injured relationship.

Following a temporary peace agreement, Brian delves deeply into the complexities of his marriage, addressing a question I’ve been pondering for some time: why does he only stray with Black women? As a television aficionado and writer focusing on racial issues, this discussion caught my interest as it broached a topic seldom discussed candidly in today’s world – interracial relationships. The media often portrays an idealized, stereotyped version of such relationships, painting a picture where everyone’s family resembles the controversial National Geographic cover. However, the book “How to Die Alone” challenges this norm by having Brian express his feelings of being deprived of “Black love” and finding it difficult to relate to his wife because she is white, often yearning for a connection with someone who shares his ethnicity. Melissa proposes that he rely on himself or their mother, but Brian underscores the unique challenges when he serves as the family’s caretaker, circling back to the weight of responsibility on his shoulders.

In the episode, there wasn’t a detailed exploration about Brian longing for an intimate bond with Black women, but it was unnecessary in my opinion. The scene where he expresses this desire while his sister provides him emotional support (and encourages him not to resort to cheating or having another child) was sufficient. Conversely, when Melissa opens up about her own daddy issues, admitting that their father was the first of many who rejected her, it creates a vulnerable atmosphere. In this setting, Brian doesn’t let Melissa succumb to her fear of being alone. Instead, he uplifts his sister, reassuring her that even though she might not have a house, job, and family yet, they are on the way. And if she takes a moment to look, she will see countless people who genuinely adore her. The sixth episode reinforces this message by showing just how profound this love is when Melissa gets trapped in an elevator, causing her to question her fear of flying.

On the day of her management training graduation, Melissa’s coworker Kaia sends her downstairs to the lost and found for a special gift: her pick of the unclaimed luggage so she can pull up to Maui in style. Melissa finds a perfect Louis Vuitton piece, but as she makes her way back upstairs for graduation, she gets stuck in the elevator with her least favorite coworker, Patti. Here, the show leans back into the workplace comedy aspect with the universal humor of being stuck with the one coworker you hate and the silliness of the rest of Melissa’s colleagues scrambling to save her once they realize she’s missing. Patti maintains her obnoxious behavior as Melissa’s claustrophobia spirals out of control, triggering her fear of dying trapped in a metal coffin. Firemen eventually pry the elevator door open, but the damage is done, and Melissa decides not to board her flight to Maui, which is scheduled for the next day.

In a bid to help Melissa overcome her fear following a setback in her progress, the man who has grown fond of her, Terrance, arranges a mock flight for her practice. Knowing Melissa’s reluctance to board any kind of flight after her traumatic elevator incident, Terrance cleverly involves his coworkers to convince her. The endearing group consisting of Kaia, Sean, DeShawn, and Patti from the runway (who are my personal favorite characters), along with Terrance, manage to persuade Melissa to step onto the plane. Despite some nervous moments, Melissa manages the simulation flight, clinging tightly to Terrance’s hand for support. The affection in Terrance’s eyes is palpable as he guides her through takeoff. However, the story takes a romantic twist as Alex enters the scene, capturing Melissa’s attention away from Terrance by asserting he simply had to be present for her.

On New Year’s Eve, Melissa confides in her friends Tamika and Allie about her intention to confess her feelings for Alex during their Hawaii trip. The friends discuss the potential consequences of this bold move, with Tamika suggesting a dramatic entrance at the wedding to profess love, while Allie proposes a more realistic scenario that could spoil the wedding celebration. Despite the scary possibilities, Melissa resolves to reveal her true emotions, albeit with caution to avoid ruining the actual ceremony. Instead, she decides to confront Alex later that night, creating an exciting suspense. What a daring move!

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2024-09-21 02:54