Bitcoin Drama: Fed, AI, and Larry’s Take 😱💸

by

Key takeaways (because who has time for nuance?):

  • Bitcoin options delta skew hit 7%-traders are sweating like Larry at a bar mitzvah. 🥵💼

  • Whales are bullish, ETFs are flowing, but AI drama’s got everyone side-eyeing China. 🐳🤖

So, Bitcoin almost hit $117k, but then it was like, “Nah, I’m good.” Classic Bitcoin. Meanwhile, the Fed’s about to drop some interest rate news, and traders are hedging like it’s the last slice of pizza. 🍕💔

Is it caution? Fear? Or just Larry David-level indecision? 🤷‍♂️ And let’s not forget Nvidia’s AI chips getting the cold shoulder from China. Jensen Huang’s like, “I’m disappointed, but it’s cool, I’ll just sell to someone who appreciates me.” 😢🤝

The delta skew’s at 7%-puts are pricier than a Manhattan therapist. 🧠💸 But hey, it’s not *extreme* bearishness, just your average market anxiety. Calm down, everyone, it’s not like we’re out of rugelach. 🥯

China’s banning Nvidia chips? Great, now AI’s got FOMO too. Meanwhile, Bitcoin traders are waiting for Jerome Powell like he’s the Messiah. Spoiler: he’s not. 🙄

Bitcoin traders: Fed’s got us like “What’s next, a plague of locusts?”

Panic? Nah, just your typical put-to-call ratio at 71%. Unless it hits 180%, we’re not calling it a doomsday scenario. Sheesh, drama queens. 👑💤

Whales are bullish, ETFs are pumping $292 million, but Bitcoin’s like, “Let me dip real quick.” Classic Larry move. 🤦‍♂️💰

Spot ETFs are the only thing keeping optimism alive. But let’s be real, it all depends on the Fed and if Trump and Xi can stop arguing over tariffs. 🌍🤬

Disclaimer: This is not advice. Larry David doesn’t even know what Bitcoin is. He’s still trying to figure out why his soup’s cold. 🥣❄️

Read More

2025-09-17 20:15