In a turn of events as predictable as the sun rising in the east, the almighty US Federal Reserve, in its wisdom, decreed that the sacred interest rates shall remain untouched, as if they were the crown jewels of some ancient dynasty.
And lo, the world of finance held its breath, though the odds of change were slimmer than a beggar’s chance at a feast. Yet, the capricious Bitcoin, like a jester in a court of kings, danced and twirled, confusing all who watched.
BREAKING!
FOMC: THE FED SAYS NO TO RATE CUTS!
MARKET SAW IT COMING, YET BITCOIN FLAILS!
— Ash Crypto (@Ashcryptoreal) March 19, 2025
CryptoPotato, ever the diligent chronicler, noted that the fabled cryptocurrency had, like a phoenix from the ashes, soared back to the vaunted $83,000 mark, only to be thwarted by the whims of the market gods.
It aimed for the stars, or at least the $85,000 mark, before succumbing to gravity, only to be buoyed once more by the Fed’s non-decision. Yet, like a drunkard after a night of revelry, it stumbled and lost its grip on a grand, now struggling to cling to the $84,000 lifeline.
The Federal Reserve, in its infinite wisdom, has decreed the rates shall stay at 4.25% to 4.5%. Three meetings have passed, and like a broken record, the rates remain unchanged, following the brief excitement of two cuts in the bygone year of 2024.
But whisper the rumors, for there are signs that the great US central bank may soon begin to pare down the rates, and perhaps, like a miserly old man, will cling ever tighter to his Treasury securities, reducing the monthly redemption cap from a bloated $25 billion to a mere $5 billion.
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2025-03-19 21:16