In the grand theater of American politics, where fools and princes alike dance to the tune of capitalism’s balalaika, a most peculiar drama unfolds, dear reader. 😏 Just as Pierre Bezukhov once wandered through the salons of Moscow seeking life’s meaning, so too does our estimable President Trump navigate the labyrinthine corridors of economic policy.
Ah, how reminiscent this is of the noble families of old Petersburg! Our new Commerce Secretary, Howard William Lutnick – much like Prince Vassily – has positioned himself quite cleverly in the imperial court, has he not? 🎭
Like the great battles of 1812, Trump’s tariff campaign against the ‘Dirty 15’ has left scorched earth in its wake. The markets! Oh, the markets! They fall like autumn leaves in Yasnaya Polyana.
I just figured out why @howardlutnick is indifferent to the stock market and the economy crashing. He and Cantor are long bonds. He profits when our economy implodes.
It’s a bad idea to pick a Secretary of Commerce whose firm is levered long fixed income. It’s an irreconcilable…
— Bill Ackman (@BillAckman) April 7, 2025
And here enters our modern-day Andrei Bolkonsky – Bill Ackman – who, with the sharp perception of a battlefield commander, unveils the great irony: while the common folk watch their fortunes diminish (much like poor peasants during the French invasion), Secretary Lutnick’s bonds grow fat like a merchant’s purse during wartime. 🎪
The numbers dance before us like couples at a grand ball: Bitcoin waltzed down 7.2%, Ethereum performed a tragic mazurka at -16.7%, while gold – that most faithful partner – stumbled in its own cotillion from $3,131.027 to $3,037.467. 💃
How curious it is, dear friends, that in this vast tapestry of economic warfare, our Commerce Secretary finds himself in a position not unlike General Kutuzov – except that he profits from retreat rather than victory! 🎭
And so, like the great wheel of fortune that turns for all men, we must watch as this peculiar comedy of errors plays out in Washington’s grand theater. Will cryptocurrency emerge as the Pierre Bezukhov of our time – finding meaning in the chaos? Or shall it remain, like poor Petya Rostov, another casualty of these turbulent times? Only time, that most patient of narrators, will tell. 😌
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2025-04-07 14:37