In a move that would make even Death himself raise an eyebrow (if he had any), BlackRock, the financial equivalent of the Unseen University’s Treasury, has just performed what some might call a “strategic redistribution of wealth” – or what the rest of us call “panic-selling faster than a wizard running from responsibility.” 🧙♂️
FOOTNOTE: The amount in question – 3,296 BTC (approximately $254 million) – was unceremoniously dumped onto Coinbase like a cart of cabbages in Ankh-Morpork’s market square. BlackRock, which manages enough money to make the Patrician’s personal vault look like a piggy bank, apparently decided that their Bitcoin needed a holiday at Coinbase Prime, the poshest exchange this side of the Disc. 🎩
BlackRock deposited 3,296 $BTC($254M) to #CoinbasePrime 2 hours ago.
— Lookonchain (@lookonchain) April 9, 2025
The crypto market, displaying all the calm and rationality of the Librarian during banana shortage, immediately assumed the worst. After all, when a $10 trillion institution moves money, it’s about as subtle as a dragon in a china shop. 🐉
Of course, this could all be perfectly normal business operations, much like how the Ankh-Morpork Bank operates – except with fewer robberies and significantly more spreadsheets. Though one must wonder if someone at BlackRock simply sat on their keyboard. 💻
The current economic situation in the U.S. resembles the organized chaos of the Ankh-Morpork stock exchange, minus the actual organization. And when BlackRock makes a move, everyone watches like they’re witnessing a particularly interesting game of Thud! 👀
For those keeping score at home (probably with an abacus), BlackRock still maintains possession of 572,074 BTC, worth approximately $44.89 billion – enough to buy several small kingdoms or one moderately sized castle in premium Ankh-Morpork real estate. 🏰
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2025-04-09 18:04