XRP Moonshot? 🤯 Bitcoin’s a Trap!

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Okay, so XRP. It’s doing this thing. This thing where it looks like January 2025 all over again. Forty percent jump, you know? It’s like, history doesn’t exactly repeat, which is good, because if it did, I’d have a beachfront property by now. But it’s…rhyming. It’s a rhyme! It’s annoying, frankly.

It was just sitting there, sideways, like a parked car. Volume? Forget about it. Lower than my patience at a deli counter. And then, BAM! People actually bought some. Who does that? It’s all positioning, you know? Not actual news. It’s just…people positioning. It’s ridiculous. 🙄

And now it’s out of this declining channel, which apparently is good. Or is it? I don’t know. They keep saying “breakout.” Breakout from what? My sanity? It paused! After the breakout! It paused. Healthy markets, they say. Healthy! Like a clogged artery is “healthy.”

RSI is “bullish.” Bullish! Like it’s going to charge into a china shop. It’s just…a line on a chart. And volume is “steadily growing.” Steadily! Not spiking! Like a normal person. And the moving averages… don’t even get me STARTED on the moving averages. They recovered. Of course they did. It lowers “overhead pressure”. Whatever THAT means. 🤷

Complacency, they say. People wait for confirmation. Confirmation! Like they’re waiting for a sign from God. And then they chase it! It drove a 40% move last time. Maybe it’ll do it again. Or maybe not. I’m telling you, these “patterns” are deeply unsettling.

Ethereum is…Something

Ethereum. It looks stable, right? Like you could put your money in it and just chill. Wrong. It’s structurally unstable. A “psychological anchor.” That’s what they call $3,000 – $3,100? Seriously? That’s your anchor? It’s barely holding things together. It’s like my apartment, looks okay from a distance.

Lower highs, intense movement, moving averages are going south. Rebounds are pathetic. It needs a real move above $3,100. It needs a purpose! It’s just…existing. And the RSI? Capped. Capped momentum! What is this, a museum of limited potential? 😤

Lose $3,100 and it gets quick. They say “liquidity.” I say, “it’s going down!” They underestimate how fast confidence falters. It’s always that way. Not a guarantee, they add. Great. So they’re admitting it’s a gamble. It is ALWAYS a gamble! 🤦‍♀️

Bitcoin? Fuggedaboutit.

Bitcoin is up, everyone’s excited. Oh, great. Really? It’s like a holiday rally. Nobody’s actually trading. It’s all artificial. Then REAL people show up, and everyone scrambles. Institutions rebalance they say, like it’s a reasonable thing to do. Rebalance! It’s just more selling, that’s all.

Volume’s increasing? Don’t tell me it’s accumulation. It’s ALWAYS distribution! Strong hands selling to…well, to people like you. It’s a set-up, I’m telling you! A set-up! And it’s going to fall faster than my hopes and dreams. 😩

They say the structure is still vulnerable. Of course it is. Every rally ends lower. It’s the natural order of things. Traps! It’s a trap! Don’t fall for it! Unless…wait, maybe it’ll go up. Oh, this is exhausting. I need a nap.

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2026-01-06 03:22