Vanderpump Rules Recap: Men Behaving Badly

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I’m really conflicted about Shayne. The episode starts with a shot of him in the shower, and… was that his butt? I had to rewind to check, and after multiple replays, it seems like we definitely see a cheek, but not a full view. Still, it was enough to give me Wayne and Garth-level excitement. Then I learned he named his dog Jar Jar, after the notoriously disliked Star Wars character, and I immediately wanted him off my screen. But then he showed his date his scars, and I started to reconsider. Ultimately, everything he did after that made it impossible to forget how attractive he is.

This guy is dating two women at the same time, and it’s a mess. He’s getting to know Kristen, feeding her strawberries and serving her incredibly cheap wine. While they’re getting cozy, he texts Karina, his next date, and tells her to wait in her car. Seriously? That’s a huge red flag! It’s also weird that Karina didn’t notice Kristen leaving. Why else would he ask someone to wait in their car? Then he takes Kristen upstairs to watch a movie, bragging about his VHS collection. And he thinks he’s a talented writer? Definitely not – he’s all talk.

This episode continues the trend of problematic male behavior. Marcus’s attempt at DJ-ing, complete with indoor sunglasses, was so frustrating it briefly made me miss the chaotic energy of James Kennedy. It’s especially annoying that he’s competing with McKenna, who already holds the DJ position – does Lisa Vanderpump prioritize promoting underperforming men over supporting her female staff? The answer seems obvious. Adding to the drama, Marcus nearly interrupted a pointless conversation between Venus and Kim, where Venus is trying to befriend someone her boyfriend, Marcus, has explicitly said he doesn’t want to speak to – a completely illogical situation. Honestly, I wish Venus’s sister could step in and tell them both that Marcus is a terrible influence and they should just be friends and keep him far away. He’s just a toxic mess.

The majority of the drama revolves around Chris and Jason, but really, it’s mostly Jason causing problems. Last week, he asked Angelica to meet him at Tom Tom after his work and her plans with friends, and she went, even though she shouldn’t have. He then stood her up! And that’s not even the worst of it – he previously made out with someone else right in front of her, yelled at her in the alley behind SUR (seriously, ruining a potentially historic place!), and then couldn’t even be bothered to show up after making plans. If he treated me like that, I’d make sure he was banned from every bar in West Hollywood and make his life miserable. But Angelica? She actually went on another date with him! I understand he has attractive eyebrows, but this guy is constantly repeating the same awful behavior. He’s already moved on to his next mistake.

He surprised her with a jiujitsu lesson, knowing she used to be a fan of the character Ryu from Street Fighter II, and they playfully wrestled a bit. While it makes sense Angelica would enjoy it since she does taekwondo, it seems odd he didn’t choose a taekwondo studio, or let her share her skills with him. Even as someone who isn’t straight, I know a good way to attract someone is to let them show you what they know. While pinning her, he randomly brought up a past relationship with someone he’s no longer seeing. It was a strange thing to mention, especially since he’d previously said he wasn’t seeing anyone. Ending that relationship is already done, so bringing it up now doesn’t help him. What was the point? Then, after admitting he was seriously involved with someone else (though he quickly tried to backtrack and say she was a good person), he tried to kiss Angelica, but she quickly used her taekwondo skills to create some distance.

The next day, when Audrey meets with her, she explains she’s hurt from their fight and doesn’t want anything to do with Jason anymore. During their conversation, a couple of other things come up that need to be discussed further. First, Audrey mentions that the cousins have accounts on OnlyFans. This topic was previously brought up when Nathalie – the SUR co-owner, not the other Nathalie – told Lisa that Chris has an OnlyFans account, even though she’d just learned about the site moments before. Lisa, who’s so involved in production that she injured her arm, had actually asked Nathalie to mention OnlyFans on camera so they could all discuss it.

About two months ago, I signed up for OnlyFans accounts belonging to Jason and Chris – strictly for work, as part of my journalism. I’m hoping to get approval for the costs involved – things like extra clips and photos – and if I do, I’ll share my findings with everyone.

I was really fascinated by the recent episode where the guys talked about their financial struggles when they first moved to L.A. and how they turned to OnlyFans. Honestly, good for them – they’re not even trying to hide it, and they shouldn’t be! As someone who appreciates all kinds of creative expression, I think it’s ridiculous to judge anyone for how they earn a living. It feels like Bravo is becoming more open-minded about adult content, which is a welcome change. We’ve seen stars like Larsa and Denise do similar things for years, but this is the first time someone already known for that type of content has been on a show. I’m totally supportive and think it’s a great thing! No shame in making money, period. It does make me think, though… I wonder if they would have faced the same acceptance if they were women doing the same thing?

So, about something a little awkward… Audrey mentioned she stayed over at Chris’s place after their date. She claims things stayed pretty tame, but she admits sharing a bed with someone as attractive as Chris is tempting. Anyway, the next morning while showering, she discovered a penis pump in the bathroom. Chris quickly explained it actually belonged to his housemate, Jason.

Audrey mentioned a penis pump is used for erectile dysfunction, but she’s overlooking its other purpose. I tried one years ago while researching an article for Vice – back when the site was thriving. What I discovered is that the tissue in the penis has a lot of tiny openings that fill with blood, causing an erection. A penis pump works by using pressure to expand these openings, theoretically making the erection harder, bigger, and overall larger. Some pumps even use water pressure, which is why you might find one in the shower. The idea is that regular use could permanently increase penis size, both when flaccid and erect. I didn’t research it long enough to confirm if that’s actually true, but that’s the goal. It’s understandable why someone whose work benefits from a larger appearance might have one, and finding it in the shower shouldn’t be a source of shame.

It’s funny how unexpectedly relevant certain… knowledge can be when watching Vanderpump Rules. Speaking of unexpected things, let’s get back to Shayne. The cast goes out to The Abbey, a popular gay bar that seemed surprisingly empty for a Tuesday night—much like when it was featured on RHOC earlier this season. Both Shayne and Angelica are there, despite Angelica claiming she’s injured from a jiujitsu session with Jason. She tells Jason that not only did he hurt her, but she thinks they’re better off as just friends, effectively ending their brief, flirty connection after one date and a lot of talk about maybe getting together.

Okay, so things got really awkward. Shayne totally saw his chance and jumped in to flirt with Angelica, and it escalated quickly – like, immediately. Jason and Chris were both furious with her, with Chris even accusing her of playing games, which I thought was unfair. She’d already told Jason she only wanted to be friends, so turning her attention to Shayne felt pretty direct to me, not like some elaborate plan. Honestly, they should have been mad at Shayne! He moved in on her way faster than Britney Spears doing a dance routine! By the end of the night, they were kissing, which just proves Shayne can make more progress with multiple girls in a single episode than Jason can with just one over three episodes. It’s wild!

Leaving the club in her sweatpants and UGGs, Katie Maloney Schwartz carries a binder of business receipts—not the drama-filled ones from reality TV reunions, but actual records of sales, inventory, and expenses. As she takes one last look at the club, she sees the same energy she knew so well: young people, cameras, bright lights, and the tough realities of running a business. Memories flood back—tequila shots, arguments, disappointing relationships, difficult employees, financial struggles, and the constant hustle for a paycheck. It feels like a magical moment, but she knows it’s just a fleeting illusion. She quickly orders a Waymo, relieved it arrives promptly, and requests a silent ride home.

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2026-01-07 06:55