Kevin Hassett, that silver-tongued economist, insists the Fed’s got more backbone than a cat on a hot tin roof, even as Trump’s “two Kevins” duel for the chairmanship. Prediction markets wobble, crypto yawns-what a jamboree! 🌀
- Kevin Hassett, now the belle of the Fed chair ball, quips that Trump’s opinions are as weighty as a feather in a hurricane-unless they’re backed by data, of course. The FOMC? They vote like it’s a democracy, not a popularity contest. 🗳️
- Trump, ever the showman, narrows the race to “two Kevins” (Hassett and Warsh), while Polymarket’s odds shift like a sandbar in a tide. From 85% to 52%-Hassett’s lead falters, and Warsh creeps up, grinning like a fox in a henhouse. 🦊
- The Fed’s 25-basis-point cut to 3.5%-3.75% leaves crypto markets as flat as a prairie dog’s backside. Trump, meanwhile, dreams of 2026 rate cuts like a kid eyeing a candy store. 🍬
Kevin Hassett, that economic raconteur, told CBS on Sunday that the Fed’s independence is as sacred as Sunday church bells. “Trump’s opinions? They’d need to wear a halo of data,” he declared, as if explaining why a frog won’t dance to a fiddle. 🐸
Hassett’s Fed Independence Sermon, Delivered with a Dash of Sarcasm
Hassett, with the gravitas of a man selling bridges to the moon, insisted the Fed’s 12-member committee would vote like a jury, not a fan club. An announcement looms in January-cue the suspense of a thunderstorm at midnight. ⛈️
When asked if Trump’s views might sway the Fed, Hassett replied, “No, no-he’d need to bring a trunk full of data, not just a loud voice.” A sentiment as clear as mud, but hey, it’s the best we’ve got. 🌊
“If you trot out a policy argument and the committee snorts it back, then you vote,” Hassett said, channeling the wisdom of a man who’s probably never owned a horse. 🐴
Trump, that master of brevity, narrowed the chair race to “two Kevins”-Hassett and Warsh. “They’re both great,” he declared, as if rating apples in a fruit bowl. 🍎
Prediction markets, those digital oracles of modern times, have trimmed Hassett’s odds from 85% to a mere 52%, while Warsh creeps up to 39%-a race tighter than a cat’s grin in a room full of rocking chairs. 🪑
Trump, ever the self-appointed economic sage, demands the next Fed chair consult him on rates. “I’m a smart voice,” he insisted, “and should be listened to.” A claim as modest as a barn in a hayfield. 🌾
The Fed’s latest rate cut left crypto markets as unimpressed as a cow watching a parade. Powell, that beleaguered central banker, called the inflation-employment tightrope “a challenging situation”-a euphemism if ever there was one. 🤺
Powell added, “There is no risk-free path for policy,” a line that could double as a Shakespearean tragedy. Meanwhile, Trump dreams of 2026 rate cuts like a kid eyeing a candy store. “Warsh thinks you have to lower rates,” he said, as if it were common knowledge. 🍬
Read More
- Lacari banned on Twitch & Kick after accidentally showing explicit files on notepad
- YouTuber streams himself 24/7 in total isolation for an entire year
- Adolescence’s Co-Creator Is Making A Lord Of The Flies Show. Everything We Know About The Book-To-Screen Adaptation
- The Batman 2 Villain Update Backs Up DC Movie Rumor
- Answer to “A Swiss tradition that bubbles and melts” in Cookie Jam. Let’s solve this riddle!
- Silent Hill f: Who is Mayumi Suzutani?
- Gold Rate Forecast
- Ragnarok X Next Generation Class Tier List (January 2026)
- Best Zombie Movies (October 2025)
- 2026 Upcoming Games Release Schedule
2025-12-15 10:44