Finance
What to know:
- In a move that could only be described as either visionary or utterly ludicrous, Bitmine (BMNR) decided to splash out a staggering $138 million last week on 65,341 ETH. Just when you thought it was safe to ignore cryptocurrencies, here they come again!
- Now clutching more than 4.66 million tokens like a hoarder with a coupon book, the firm has also managed to pump its cash reserves up to a jaw-dropping $1.1 billion. Who needs a rainy day when you can gamble on digital coins?
- Chairman Thomas “Tom” Lee, in his infinite wisdom, confidently proclaimed that ETH is merely trudging through the final stages of a “mini-crypto winter.” Apparently, he missed the memo that winters can sometimes last a tad longer than expected!
Bitmine Immersion Technologies (BMNR) announced on Monday, with all the pomp and circumstance of a king declaring war, that it had snagged 65,341 ether (ETH) last week. This purchase comes as the firm doubles down on its strategy of buying while others are selling, because who doesn’t love a good sale?
The latest acquisition, valued at around $138 million-give or take a few pennies-has catapulted the firm’s total holdings to over 4.66 million tokens. That’s right; they now corner a whopping 3.86% of ETH’s circulating supply. A true titan of industry, or just someone with a very large credit card limit?
Bitmine has been in a buying frenzy for three weeks straight, increasing its pace from a mere 50,000 tokens per week to a dizzying new high. Meanwhile, their cash pile grows like a beanstalk, soaring to a massive $1.1 billion. I mean, who wouldn’t want to keep throwing money at something that’s currently losing value?
Chairman Lee, ever the optimist, insists that this uptick in purchases is a sign that crypto markets are finally about to pull themselves out of the gutter. “Our base case is ETH is in the final stages of the ‘mini-crypto winter,'” he cheerfully declared, perhaps while sipping a piña colada on a sunny beach somewhere.
Meanwhile, Bitmine is nursing a staggering estimated $7 billion unrealized loss on its ether purchases, courtesy of a market that seems to have forgotten what upward movement looks like. But hey, who needs profits when you have dreams, right?
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2026-03-23 16:09