The Valley Recap: Damn It, Janet

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Janet Caperna has created a really difficult situation for herself. Things have gotten to the point where even at social gatherings, like a recent pool party, people are actively avoiding her and her husband, Jason – one guest even jokingly claimed a severe allergy to being around them. The central issue is whether Janet and Jason can repair their relationships with their friends before an upcoming trip to San Diego, and it doesn’t look promising.

Nia doesn’t want to talk to Janet and Jason and hasn’t even thought about how to avoid them. She casually mentions that she just naturally avoids them when she visits Michelle at the gym. But the main point of their conversation is Michelle’s difficult relationship with her father, who struggled with mental illness. He introduced her to gymnastics at age five, predicting she’d go to the Olympics, and she thrived on the discipline it required. However, when her parents divorced at fifteen, everything changed. Michelle explains that while her father wasn’t officially diagnosed, he believed people were pursuing him and that leaving his family was the only way to keep them safe.

It’s incredible to learn that Janet’s father is actually alive and living in the Los Angeles area, but she doesn’t have a relationship with him because he remains emotionally unavailable and fearful. It’s a heartbreaking situation, and I wish he would seek help – things like medication and therapy – so he could be present for Michelle again, perhaps even supporting Isabella at her gymnastics practice. It feels like healing and reconnection are possible, a chance to rebuild their relationship and make up for lost time. I really want that for them. However, Michelle seems to have accepted that her father will continue to keep his distance, and that’s even more painful to me than her divorce. She needs her father’s support far more than she needs anything from Jessy Lally.

Kristen, Brittany, and Zack were all at the gym getting Brazilian waxes and spray tans. The women were getting waxed, and Zack was getting a spray tan. He went to find them and walked by the room where Kristen was getting waxed, the door was open, and she was positioned in a vulnerable way. He jokingly said he thought he saw her uterus. He later described the scene as shocking, using crude language. While the situation is humorous – no one wants to unexpectedly see a friend’s genitals – it highlights a discomfort some gay men seem to have with vaginas, which feels unnecessary. Bodies are natural, and seeing a friend in a vulnerable position might be surprising, but it shouldn’t be upsetting. The author personally feels comfortable with nudity and wouldn’t be disturbed by seeing a vulva.

While Zack is upset, Lala, Michelle, and Janet are at Pilates. Janet is also trying to understand who is communicating with her and decides to host a game night for everyone. She explains she and Jasmine have already resolved their issues, and she believed things were good with Zack – he was simply still angry about the situation involving Danny and Nia. She plans to invite Danny and Nia as well, even though she doesn’t expect them to come, as a way of showing she’s willing to move past their conflict.

When Janet hosted game night at a brewery, she brought a full Plinko board that no one ever got to play. It felt like a missed opportunity, especially since a round of The Price Is Right‘s Plinko could have saved the night! The guest list included Jason, her close friend Jared (who she always refers to playfully, like a Madonna lyric), Lala, Schwartz, Michelle, Brittany, and a bunch of other guys we don’t know. One of them was Logan, Ariana’s friend who appeared on Vanderpump Rules, but wasn’t properly introduced. Basically, Janet needed extra people to fill seats.

After the games, the women were discussing what happened, and Janet expressed her frustration, saying she wished someone would just tell her what she did wrong so she could apologize. I want to sympathize with her, because it can’t be easy being criticized by everyone – both her friends and viewers of the show – with people saying mean things about her appearance and even telling her to harm herself. That must be awful. However, it seems pretty clear what everyone is upset about. Even if she thinks it’s trivial, like Zack’s issues, the problem has been discussed all season, at the reunion, and for months since then. She could easily ask Brittany, who probably already knows what’s going on.

Brittanny expressed feeling stuck in the middle of the drama, and I understand why she feels that way. However, I think she’s also contributing to the problem. She needs to either explain to Janet what’s upsetting everyone and encourage her to make things right, or she needs to ask everyone else to be more considerate of Janet and then find a way to move forward. She can’t keep avoiding the issue. I was glad to see Brandon, her boyfriend, step in at the party and ask Kristen to be nicer to Janet, knowing it was stressing Brittanny out. It’s good someone is finally addressing Kristen’s behavior. He’s new to the group, but I hope he continues to support Brittanny.

During game night, Janet expressed frustration about having to constantly apologize, especially after Danny liked an Instagram comment referencing Jason’s alleged interest in her sexual activity with others. She questioned the double standard, asking why Danny’s actions were acceptable while her attempts to discuss Jason’s behavior weren’t. Zack accused Janet of playing the victim, pointing out what he saw as a pattern. He also highlighted the hypocrisy of her getting upset about a social media comment after dismissing his own concerns as trivial. He believes she needs to let go of these issues if she wants to move forward.

Okay, so on the drive to Brittany’s party, a bunch of little things happened. Jesse and Lacy grabbed lunch, but honestly, I’m still not invested in their whole thing. Zack actually had a really good conversation with Luke about couples counseling – seriously, it was the most mature and understanding I’ve ever seen him. Schwartz was lamenting his lack of dating skills and how into this new girl he is, though we haven’t even met her yet. I’m half expecting her to be a Canadian he met at summer camp, someone we’d never know! And then there’s Kristen, who’s worried her baby will forget her with the nanny around. It sounds silly, but I actually felt really bad for her, surprisingly enough.

Everyone’s still centered on Janet. Jasmine doesn’t want to spend time with her, but she was considerate enough to explain why she couldn’t come to game night. Lala is frustrated that people can’t move past this, and Kristen is tired of discussing it, even though Janet isn’t present. I feel the same way. It’s strange that this disagreement, which happened a year ago, is still causing so much tension within the group.

When Janet showed up, it didn’t cause a big scene by Brittany’s pool. She and Zack started talking, and he told her he didn’t want to rehash this conversation, as it felt like they had the same discussion every season. She played innocent, asking what she’d even done wrong, and everyone nearby was jokingly speculating that Zack had a long list of Janet’s past offenses, dating back to before the pandemic. As the saying goes, gay people have excellent memories and are always picking up on things, even through subtle cues – that’s why we tend to move quickly to catch everything!

Instead of addressing his own problems, Zack, after drinking, abruptly asks Janet for her current opinion of Danny and Nia. This highlights the core issue: if Janet still harbors resentment towards them, the group will continue to have issues with her. Janet avoids the conversation, but she needs to have it. To rejoin the group and the show, she essentially needs to fully accept responsibility for everything, offering a blanket apology. It’s not about admitting specific wrongs, but simply acknowledging she was wrong and swallowing her pride. She needs to accept the consequences without resistance. This is her only path forward, but she doesn’t seem able to do it.

Janet’s conversation with Zack starts to improve when she flatters him, praising how he handled a situation with Jasmine and Danny last season – acknowledging the issue, supporting his friends, but staying out of the conflict. Janet wants people to recognize her efforts to change her behavior, but it’s hard to prove she’s different when she hasn’t had much opportunity to show it, and everyone is keeping their distance. Rebuilding trust with the group will take time, but she’s hoping for a quick fix. On the drive home from the party, with Jason driving and a podcast playing softly, Janet reflects on her attempts to appear calm and collected. She smiled, spoke to Zack, and avoided bringing up Danny and Nia, but maintaining the facade is exhausting, feeling like a painful, forced smile. As they pass by lit houses, she sees families and imagines their own dramas, but convinces herself that none of their struggles compare to hers, fighting back a desperate urge to break down.

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2026-04-30 05:55