The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Recap: I’m Not Obviously Stoked

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I’m constantly baffled by the complicated rules surrounding dating and relationships within the Mormon community. The basic principle – no physical intimacy before temple marriage, after which it’s acceptable within marriage – makes sense to me. But then things get confusing. I’ve heard of “soft swinging” and seen suggestions that activities similar to those on shows like Love Island are sometimes considered okay, yet even sharing a sexual dream in a casual setting is off-limits. It seems like being “on a break” means you’re technically still married but not actively together, with strict rules about public displays of affection or even flirting. So is it just…celibacy with extra steps? And then there’s “separated,” which is a sort of in-between state, where lie-detector tests are apparently acceptable, but running into exes at dinner is a major no-no. Honestly, it’s overwhelming! I wish there was a flowchart to explain it all. This definitely wasn’t covered in my high school education, where we focused on literature like Dracula and Toni Morrison – there wasn’t a course on the Book of Mormon, let alone relationship guidelines.

The dinner conversation in St. George continues with Marciano and the women, and both he and Jessi have been cleared of any wrongdoing in that area. Jessi faces tough questioning about whether she’s been truthful, both about the situation with Marciano and about Demi. This leads to a discussion about how lie detectors actually work – they even wonder if a small, polite lie, like complimenting a questionable outfit, would register. It’s a healthy level of skepticism, and I appreciate everyone questioning things. Jessi steps away to call Jordan, and the conversation doesn’t go well. He was aware of the lie detector test but is angry that Marciano is even there. Honestly, he should be upset with the show’s producers, not turning this into a dramatic storyline to prove he’s trying to save his marriage. It feels less like a fight for his marriage and more like just a fight, period.

Back at the hotel, the mothers changed into matching pajamas and created a safe space for Jessi to share what she was going through. Initially, Taylor seemed critical of Jessi’s attempts to find humor amidst her family’s struggles, but she quickly revealed she coped with similar issues with her own children’s fathers in the same way. Jessi is currently torn about whether to get divorced, despite admitting Jordan was controlling and often criticized her parenting, work, and even how she did chores, all while she financially supported the family. It was a difficult scene to watch, as everyone showed understanding. It became clear that many of the other women had experienced similar mistreatment within the framework of Mormon leadership.

It doesn’t take long to see this behavior firsthand. It’s crucial to remember that Jordan’s harsh treatment of Jessi, even with cameras rolling, seems to him like acceptable behavior towards a wife. He even claims his actions are justified, which is completely unacceptable. I’m not excusing his behavior at all, and I’m still disturbed by a past incident where he yelled at someone during Halloween – there was never any kindness or warmth from him. Jordan insists Jessi shouldn’t communicate with Marciano for the children’s sake, despite the fact that Marciano will likely be at their reunion! I believe, for the children’s well-being, a divorce might be the best option. Two peaceful homes would be far better than this current situation.

Honestly, something good came out of all the drama with Marciano – it finally brought everyone on MomTok together! At the MCO Beauty event, Jen made a really triumphant return, walking in with a cute scarf and immediately having that conversation with Jessi we’ve all been waiting for. And it was good – super mature! Jessi actually apologized for how she treated Jen, explaining that Jordan’s been emotionally abusive throughout their marriage and that she was just projecting her own feelings. They talked about how Demi was the one stirring things up, first by hiding her fling with Marciano, then doing the same thing with Taylor, and now with Jessi. Jen promised to be there for Jessi no matter what she decides about her marriage. It feels like they’ve really put their differences aside! You can even see the positive impact – it’s like the whole MomTok group’s connection just got a serious boost!

It’s tough for these women, and they’ll need all the support they can get. Jordan, however, is handling things poorly. He’s having a meeting with his friends to get them to agree with his views and essentially control their wives to support him and try to save his marriage. It’s frustrating because he’s asking them to reinforce patriarchal control instead of being genuinely supportive. Zac claims to support women, but then complains that MomTok isn’t automatically supportive of all relationships, highlighting the strong influence of Mormon beliefs. It all makes me long for a symbol of independence, like that famous (and possibly untrue) photo of Nicole Kidman’s divorce from Tom Cruise.

Someone on DadTok who isn’t acting like a bad guy will have to do. Mayci is telling her husband, Jacob, in front of their new climbing wall, that it’s not her place to tell Jessi what to do. Jacob then finds out that Jordan has been emotionally abusing Jessi for years, and the Neeleys are preparing to stand together as Jordan attempts a sort of comeback barbecue. Basically, Jacob realizes he needs to avoid supporting Jordan’s idea that emotional abuse is okay if a wife has been unfaithful, if he wants to keep his own marriage happy.

Some good news: Layla finally got her hair done by a Black stylist! She’d been having hair loss issues from her extensions, so she opted for a protective sew-in with minimal hair left out. Layla and the stylist connected over the challenges of being Black in Utah, and honestly, if Jessi has a problem with any of this, I’m siding with Jordan all the way.

Okay, so it’s a little awkward – she didn’t even bother learning how to properly work with textured hair before spending years putting extensions on her friend, which is just… a choice. Anyway, before this barbecue at Jordan’s, all the women got together to talk strategy. But honestly, there wasn’t much to plan because they’ve completely absorbed the ‘MomTok’ vibe – you know, those carefully crafted online personas. That left plenty of time for a surprisingly frank conversation – Layla is definitely not a fan of anal sex, while Jen is all for it. It was… a moment.

Next comes the attempt to repair Jordan’s public image, a rather awkward gathering. Since Jessi isn’t present, Jordan really plays the victim. They all sit outside, and it quickly becomes clear he’s not good at working with others. He gives a long speech about how his attachment style contributed to a very unhealthy situation. Meanwhile, Mayci starts texting Mikayla, signaling her to prepare. Jordan talks a lot about boundaries, taking responsibility, and being genuine, but it falls flat – it’s clear that simply talking about therapy isn’t enough, especially when broadcast by influencers. Mikayla also points out that Jordan has no right to interfere in their lives since he isn’t married to any of them. Finally, Jordan attempts to turn the situation around by asking what would happen if the roles were reversed.

This argument is ridiculous! You can’t just flip the script. We’re already in a society and a community that heavily favors men, and even if roles were magically reversed, I doubt it would change the way some men emotionally abuse their wives. Yet, somehow, Taylor thinks the parenting community online has gone too far with feminism and is now being disrespectful to men? I really don’t think that’s the issue.

Anyway, next time: Whitney’s back!

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2025-11-13 23:06