The Real Housewives of Potomac Recap: Two Can Play That Game

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As a long-time fan of reality TV, I must say that watching this season of Potomac Housewives has been quite the rollercoaster ride! The ladies are as fabulous as ever, but some of their antics have left me scratching my head.

It’s common knowledge among my friends that I dislike surprises. If there’s a group dinner reservation, I’m checking out the menu ahead of time and showing up with my decided order. An impromptu vacation has me spending the entire flight researching local conditions, activities, and the neighborhood where we’ll be staying. Once upon a time, a date led me to a secret location, which turned out to be a “secret” Sampha concert. (To clarify, I didn’t tell him, but it was an excellent show, by the way.)

To put it simply, among the various contrived elements in Housewives series that annoy me, planned games stand out as particularly grating. Though I understand the reasoning behind them – creating drama during pandemic lockdowns was challenging and this was an easy solution – their continued presence long after the pandemic feels excessive, much like an uncomfortable ingrown hair. To me, these games feel incredibly high school-ish, but instead of mean girls manipulating relationships through silly challenges, it’s a team of writers designing questions to stir up conflict. I can comprehend that these cast members aren’t close friends but more like colleagues, but couldn’t we at least feign mutual respect for one another?

Regarding the event at Karen’s Love Lagoon, despite the mermaid-themed wigs, I believe the execution was generally good. (I wonder how long those ladies stayed in the pool; it must have been at least three hours, let’s hope they had breaks.) The party is open to everyone except Jacqueline, who seems to be a stubborn spot that won’t budge. Mia has made several attempts to remove her friend from the situation, one week labeling her as a tacky barefoot hillbilly and the next praising her as the most important woman in her life.

The games revolve around themes of love, intimacy, and partnerships, which is intriguing given the ongoing rumors of infidelity surrounding a woman whose marriage has been under scrutiny. To begin with, we inquire if all couples suspect their partner has been unfaithful, and it’s not surprising that most respond “no,” except for Mia, who confesses to cheating on Gordon, and Jassi, whose relationship timeline and her partner’s children raise questions. Although I appreciate Jassi’s honesty about the nature of her engagement, I find it puzzling why someone managing a family vineyard would hold onto an NFL player with two kids, whose commitment to monogamy seems questionable at best. If you openly express suspicion of your partner’s infidelity and their response is essentially “anything that transpired occurred during breaks or non-exclusive relationships,” be aware that the likelihood of achieving a Ross-and-Rachel ending is extremely low.

In a somewhat awkward manner for me, the sexual inquiries seemed more like a deliberate attempt to make TJ uneasy and discuss intimacy, rather than genuine curiosity. The conversation was as uncomfortable as getting an IUD inserted, yet it appeared that TJ and Stacey’s back-and-forth dialogues hinted at some genuine romantic energy between them. Despite my reservations about TJ’s character, it’s refreshing to see a spark develop.

In the distance, there’s a problem that the women hadn’t anticipated. As a foreshadowing sign, Karen’s house is about to be visited by something ominous. The mermaids sense this danger, their hair standing on end and scales quivering with fear. A small dog enters the yard, seemingly lost and alone – but it doesn’t stay that way for long. Pink balloons start floating in, followed by a tacky dress reminiscent of ‘Jaws’, accompanied by the eerie music from that classic film. You’ve guessed right: Jacqueline has arrived, causing an unexpected uproar that rivals Jill Zarin’s infamous Scary Island crash. The aftermath of this unwelcome intrusion will be unveiled next week. See you all then!

Cherry Blossoms

• The encounter between Stacey, Karen, and Gizelle is the epitome of Real Housewives of Potomac (RHOP). It’s fascinating how the series seems more harmonious when Gizelle and Karen decide to coexist peacefully, embodying their complex friendship dynamic. Not only does it provide ample humor, but they also offer insightful advice drawn from their personal experiences with divorce and religion. Men who portray multiple personas, are secretive about their lives, and quickly pursue relationships – these are warning signs that become evident when one examines the relationship between Stacey and TJ for more than half a minute. Unfortunately, Stacey seemed to betray them in a moment that should have been about unity and empathy. However, everyone learns at their own pace; nevertheless, Gizelle and Karen continue to be an unbeatable team.

Discussing Gizelle, it’s her openness about her imperfections that truly stands out. Even though I could have done without the prolonged dating storyline last week, it was amusing to see her get whisked away for a dance, given she’s not exactly graceful on the dance floor. It would have been interesting to hear the music they were dancing to, as I have no doubt she was off-beat in an utterly unique way. Additionally, as another Black woman who has experienced similar romantic patterns, Gizelle seems stuck in these old dynamics; she should realize that the butterflies she feels when encountering those men are a red flag, not a sign of romance. It’s always a pattern where they treat others poorly but are affectionate towards her, until the day comes when they humiliate her as well.

It’s no secret that Wendy enjoys making a big deal out of significant birthdays, as evidenced by the planned trip to Charlotte, private party, and upcoming vacation in Panama, all connected to her turning 40. Although I don’t share her enthusiasm for such organization (it leaves me drained just considering it), I can understand her inclination towards grand displays. However, it’s not surprising that this is becoming bothersome for Gizelle, as the “another birthday party?” message clearly conveyed annoyance.

• I’m mildly amused by Keiarna’s insistence that her idea of a vacation is “European cities” and caviar (which you can get at the grocery store), but her sophistication stops short of realizing that they’re going to the beautiful Central American country of Panama and not a beach town in Florida. More important, however, I am really confused as to her presence on the show. It is known that she was upgraded to a Housewife from friend-of as Jassi was downgraded, but they’re doing a poor job of building out Keiarna’s story so far, and it’s almost feeling like a ’90s sitcom where they would switch out a Black character and expect you to not say anything (shout-out to Vivian Banks). Keiarna is a beautiful girl, but all I know about her so far is that she can’t stand Ashley, her man acts like a stepfather and not a partner, and he does not enjoy the idea of being on reality TV (which, to be fair, is understandable for a social worker who needs to keep a pristine reputation to help his community). I need the upgrade to start making sense ASAP.

• I appreciate Stacey’s transparency in sharing aspects of her life with us. This week, we met her aunt Nora, and their interaction appears genuine and sincere (although it may not have been entirely clear to Nora that TJ and Stacey are abstaining until marriage rather than just being celibate during this divorce). However, I’ve found it challenging to discern the real Stacey from the more calculated version that seems aware of the presence of a camera at all times. This polished image makes her intriguing but also somewhat mysterious, and I wonder how long she can maintain this enigmatic persona. At present, my curiosity is piqued more by the mystery surrounding TJ’s ‘Bugs Bunny’… plush toy? doll? blanket? than any aspect of Stacey’s life, which isn’t a good sign.

Finding it amusing as the cast struggled to find fitting praises for Ashley’s new boyfriend, Wendy nicknamed him “baby Jack Harlow,” while Karen described him as someone who resembled a missing person on a milk carton (until she clarified Carnation, it sounded like an old reference to those missing-kids posters). With comments like these, I can’t help but worry about the harsh criticisms and inevitable Napoleon Dynamite jokes that are bound to follow.

• What is there to say about Mia that hasn’t been said ad nauseam already? The fact that she is still trying to convince us that she is putting the children first in this situation when every indication is showing otherwise is both shameless and shameful, and I don’t want to keep rehashing this.

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2024-12-16 23:55