The Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Recap: Rock, Paper, Scissoring

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The reunion took a shocking turn when Julia revealed some major news, and we at the Real Housewives Institute immediately scrambled to write an emergency recap for our newsletter. (By the way, you can subscribe for free! And don’t forget to like, subscribe, and follow me on Instagram!) As I explained in that recap, the first part of the reunion raised a lot more questions than it answered, and after watching the second part, I’m still left wondering about many things – most notably, does anyone actually know how lesbians have sex?

Andy directly asks Adriana if she and Julia had sex, and her response – “I don’t have a dick” – is shockingly evasive, reminiscent of Bill Clinton’s famous denial. The awkward silence that follows speaks volumes. Andy points out that sex doesn’t require a penis, but Adriana weakly replies, “Not really.” This is baffling – countless sexual acts don’t involve penetration. It seems Adriana has a very limited definition of sex; if she received incredible oral sex, would she deny it was sex? If not, she desperately needs to expand her understanding of pleasure. Later, when Stephanie suggests they could have experimented with a position called ‘scissoring,’ Adriana insists she hasn’t done that with anyone either.

During a lunch break, conversations turned explicitly sexual. Alexia jokingly asked Julia and Marysol about their intimate activities, implying they engaged in oral sex. Meanwhile, Adriana denied engaging in a specific sexual act—”scissoring”—to Lisa, who pantomimed it. The conversation highlights a common misconception that lesbians only engage in certain acts, which is demonstrably false. Sex, in general, is diverse and varied, offering many ways to find pleasure. The speaker points out that while some heterosexual couples have limited sexual experiences, lesbians (and others) explore a much wider range of possibilities, and anyone with access to online resources could easily confirm this.

Another surprising reaction comes when Lisa learns the news and asks, “Why were they sleeping together if they were married?” It’s a naive question – people in committed relationships have affairs all the time. It’s implied that Lisa assumes marital fidelity, questioning what Julia and Lenny might have been doing at industry events. Just because someone is married doesn’t mean they’re faithful, and it’s unfair to assume Julia wasn’t having an affair. As Kiki observes, relationships are complex, and Julia could have even been unfaithful *within* her marriage. It’s ironic that this group of worldly, international women seems to have such a narrow view of relationships.

Andy’s sharp questions helped reveal more about what happened – he’s really taking a risk by pursuing this story without much information, but he seems confident it will make for good television. While Martina and Julia aren’t in an open relationship, Martina knew about Julia’s previous encounter with Adriana. Julia had confided in her six months prior and even warned her she would bring it up at the reunion, which upset Martina greatly.

Okay, so Alexia really wanted to know *everything* that happened between Julia and Adriana, and Julia was pretty shy about it, just saying they were “intimate.” Honestly, that was enough for me to figure out they went all the way. Adriana admitted something happened, but downplayed it as just heavy petting – she even joked about it using a very… Bravo way of saying things. She specifically said there was no scissor action and she hadn’t seen anything down there. It made me wonder if it was one of those things where they… well, you know, got close without actually kissing. But honestly, I think Adriana gave us enough information to understand what happened without getting into super graphic details, and that’s perfectly fine with me.

Both Julia and Adriana agree on what happened during the hookups, but their interpretations of events are completely different. Julia feels she was emotionally fragile at the time and while Adriana didn’t directly take advantage of her, she manipulated the situation to her benefit. Julia claims Adriana then asked her to leave her partner, even excitedly suggesting how dramatic it would be for the show. This made Julia realize Adriana was more interested in the storyline than in her or their friendship. However, Adriana does have a point – it *would* make for a compelling story.

Julia claims Adriana constantly used their past intimate encounter as leverage against her. Adriana, according to Julia, wanted them to be as close as Marysol and Alexia, and would threaten to reveal their secret if Julia befriended anyone else in the group or defended Marysol or Kiki. Julia believes Adriana’s threats at the finale party, where she talked about “telling the truth,” were about exposing their sexual history. Footage released by producers seems to support Julia’s claims. Julia is now speaking out because she felt silenced and manipulated by Adriana for three years. While admitting her affair will make her look bad, she wants Adriana and everyone to know she didn’t leave Adriana for new friends, but to escape Adriana’s controlling behavior.

Adriana is upset that Julia revealed a personal secret, claiming she would have never shared it herself. Adriana describes Julia as someone who always flirted with her and alleges that during their first meeting, Julia made a provocative advance in a bathroom. Adriana accuses Julia of being fake and constantly changing her personality to fit in, even going so far as to say Julia isn’t even her real name—it’s actually Yulia. Andy Cohen visibly reacted with disbelief when this name change was revealed.

Adriana claims she promised to keep Julia’s secrets, but now that Julia has mentioned them, she feels free to reveal everything. She loudly accuses Julia of having an affair with a Haitian mortician, even claiming Julia bought him a coffee maker as a gift. Adriana also alleges Julia had another lover who was a police officer. (It seems Adriana is referring to male lovers.) Andy, determined to get to the truth, presses Julia: Why did she have to buy the mortician a coffee maker? He wants Julia to explain!

Adriana continues to paint Julia as dishonest and unfaithful, even using harsh language. She claims that while they were in Spain, Julia made another unwanted sexual advance, which Adriana rejected. This revelation completely derails a previous attempt by both of them to reconcile. In a dramatic gesture, Adriana then presents a heart-shaped box she intended to give to Julia, hoping to salvage things. However, this tactic falls flat, and the whole situation is awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved. Adriana often tries these kinds of dramatic displays, but they rarely have the desired effect and just end up feeling forced.

After hearing everything, it’s hard to know who’s telling the whole truth. I tend to believe both women were mostly honest. They both admit to the hookup, Julia revealed other things she did that Martina is aware of, and she confirmed showing Adriana her butt when they met. Knowing Adriana’s history, it seems likely she’d use any information about Julia to her advantage on the show. While she may not have directly blackmailed Julia, the clip strongly suggested she was trying to control her. I’m skeptical about Julia trying to hook up with Adriana in Spain, but honestly, at this point, it’s anyone’s guess.

Now that we have this information, the big question is whether it even matters. Honestly, not really. Julia’s description of Adriana doesn’t surprise me, and it seems like Julia and her wife have already dealt with it privately. Is Julia being dishonest and manipulative, as Adriana claims? She hasn’t been faithful, but ultimately, it’s her own situation to handle. I’m interested because it’s good TV and makes for interesting drama, but it doesn’t change my opinion of either woman.

The rest of the episode centered around Kiki, exploring her bond with her dad and her journey throughout the season. It’s great to see Kiki doing well, and she definitely deserved the best dressed title! After that, the show revisited the drama between Stephanie and Alexia, but thankfully they seem to have resolved things and are now friends. The same goes for Larsa and Lisa – their conflict appears to be over. I even asked ChatGPT about Larsa’s public image, and it was surprisingly accurate! It makes you wonder if Sam Altman watches the show. Now, let’s hear Alexia’s side of the story!

Honestly, after all the drama between Julia and Adriana exploded, everything else just feels…off. It’s like trying to act normal and grab a burger after something really heavy happened – nobody’s really *feeling* it. All the joy feels drained because of what we just witnessed. I’m not sure if all this honesty will actually change things with the group, or even affect who’s cast next season, like Julia hopes, or like Adriana fears. But hey, I’m always here for seeing a workplace affair exposed, especially when it puts amazing queer intimacy – and yes, even talk about things like scissoring – right in front of us on TV! I’m just glad Peacock is giving us this.

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2025-10-10 04:56