The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Just Not Crazy About Beaches

by

This week on our beloved TV show, “Wealthy Women Turn Blue at the Seashore,” the wealthy women indeed felt the chill on the beach. They basked in the sun, hoping its radiant heat would dissolve the frost forming within their hearts and limbs. Swathed in blankets, they resembled the cosmic witches from “Dune” or merely Dorit at the last gathering. Seated in their high-waisted nightgowns, pulled up to the support of their bras, the wind would gust so strongly that it seemed there were stranded whales behind them.

As the women huddled on the beach, their conversation primarily revolved around Kyle and Dorit, discussing their ongoing feud. Interestingly enough, both Kyle and Dorit have been at the center of this season’s drama thus far, with Kyle garnering more solo screen time to address various issues. We find Kyle busy searching her house, peeking under plants in the garden or peering behind furniture, hoping one of her daughters or untrained dogs will finally notice her. When Portia calls following a sleepover at her father’s place, she mentions having lunch with her sisters, prompting Kyle to eagerly request details, hoping for an invite herself. Despite acknowledging that the girls are leaning on each other due to the drawn-out divorce, Kyle yearns to join them for a bottomless brunch with all four of her daughters who share an identical voice. However, it’s not appropriate for them to discuss their current issues or vent about their parents and the messy divorce while one of them is enjoying non-alcoholic mimosas (essentially orange juice) in close proximity.

It often appears that Kyle spends a lot of time by herself, gazing out of her window at a bird tapping persistently against the house. Some believe that a bird flying into a home signals an impending death, and Kyle seems to be making an effort to prevent such misfortune from entering her Encino residence. In contrast, we rarely catch glimpses of Dorit spending time alone at home. We never see her children, witness her struggles, or observe her questioning the waterproofness of her Hitachi Magic Wand while crying over her husband in a bathtub. Instead, it’s like she isn’t there at all.

In simpler terms, The most they manage is Dorit and Boz having lunch together. Dorit arrives beforehand, and Boz, standing tall like all the statues in the Louvre, enters second. Dorit expresses her desire to discuss Boz’s health issues and personal matters first, allowing Boz to speak last. Then, Boz remarks that she senses a positive vibe. At this point, Dorit agrees reluctantly, immediately delving into her divorce and conflicts with Kyle, effectively sidetracking the conversation about Boz’s fibroid, which is as large as the Dolce & Gabbana toaster Jennifer Tilly gifted as a housewarming present.

It seems there’s more to share. When everyone gathers at Kyle’s to set off for Garcelle’s beach house, Dorit shares a touching tale about Jagger inquiring if she and her husband were divorced. She explained they weren’t, and he wondered if she had mentioned it on Instagram. This struck a chord with her, leaving her… oh, hold on. Sutton needs to chime in. She wants everyone to be punctual for the chilly day at Garcelle’s beach house? Alrighty then. So, it looks like Dorit’s emotional revelation and her questionable choice to conceal their divorce from their children while airing it out publicly will have to take a backseat for now. My apologies, Dorit!

In a surprising turn of events, the night before our beach house visit was quite eventful. Kyle had arranged a dinner prior to everyone else’s arrival, and it was just Garcelle and I left sitting together. In a candid moment, Garcelle voiced her thoughts aloud, comparing Kyle’s text to PK, which she saw as a pickleball court made of vomit, to a 50-year-old man attending an Olivia Rodrigo concert alone.

The crux of the issue here, as I see it, is that I believe I haven’t done anything wrong. I feel I’ve been supportive of Dorit throughout this ordeal, but it seems I’m not recognized for my efforts. This is what baffles me. I find myself losing ground in this game when I am the one who set the rules. It’s hard for me to understand why my friends, or even the general public, could perceive me negatively.

When Kyle offers an apology to Garcelle, Sutton, and Erika during their dinner gathering, Sutton presses for details about what exactly Kyle is apologizing for. This task proves challenging for Kyle as it seems like Sutton deliberately set it up to fail. From her confessionals, we know that Sutton wants Kyle to acknowledge that there are different rules for Kyle compared to the rest of the cast. In a series of flashbacks, we see Kyle subjecting Denise Richards, Erika, and even Sutton herself to more probing questions than they’re comfortable with due to being part of the show. Meanwhile, Kyle feels she deserves some leniency after her personal life, marriage, and sexuality have been scrutinized by castmates, the show, and fans alike.

What bothers me about Sutton is that she often holds back her truth during conversations, preferring instead to save her frank opinions for the privacy of the confessional. In real life, she subtly criticizes Kyle by asking indirect questions about specific instances where an apology seems due. I wish she’d muster the courage to express what I believe is on her mind: “Kyle, I appreciate your apology for yelling, but I have a problem with the way you seem to think you’re exempt from the rules. You’ve told many of us that we need to be accountable, yet when it comes to you, you react differently. I wish you would acknowledge the double standard.” Unfortunately, she doesn’t express this openly, and I feel frustrated because someone really needs to tell Kyle this, and Garcelle isn’t the only one on the cast who can speak up about tough issues.

The excursion to Garcelle’s beach house didn’t turn out as planned due to the chilly weather, everyone needing to dress in pajamas (which borders on one of the world’s least appealing men), and the beach games falling flat. There was some humorous banter about how much a woman would need to be compensated to consider sleeping with someone other than their spouse, with Erika stating she wouldn’t do it for $1 million because that amount isn’t as substantial as it once was. Keep speaking up, Erika! Inflation seems to be affecting us all.

The one meaningful conversation occurred between Kyle and Dorit, where they privately discussed their friendship. Initially, Dorit inquired if Kyle wished to restore their friendship, to which Kyle agreed. Dorit emphasized that if Kyle considers her a friend, she should remain loyal to her, avoiding interactions with PK – the man wearing a raccoon-used diaper as a hat. If they do communicate, Kyle should inform Dorit about it. In her private thoughts, Kyle found this idea amusing, doubting the possibility of maintaining friendship with such a person, given that he had his sponsor arrange a separation instead of asking Dorit directly.

The conversation concludes with Kyle promising to support Dorit and emphasizing the importance of female solidarity, which appears to be accepted by Dorit along with an apologetic reconciliation, as they embrace. However, it’s uncertain if their hug was merely for comfort or to share body heat on a cold day.

The group, including Garcelle, gather everyone and ask them to write their desires, feelings, and other abstract ideas onto paper lanterns. They intend to release these into the sky, like insects caught in a breeze. However, the wind is too strong and keeps blowing the papers away along with the lantern frames and wicks. The wind scatters everyone’s hopes, dreams, fears, and aspirations across the air, stinging the women when the tiny particles hit them. Meanwhile, Kyle struggles to ignite her lantern and inadvertently discovers a dead bird (possibly a pigeon) while crawling through the sand, causing her to scream in fright. She doesn’t have time to investigate the bird because she needs to find shelter quickly on this chilly beach.

Read More

2025-01-29 06:55