The Highs, Lows, and Whoas of the 2025 Golden Globes

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Originally known for being less formal and full of amusement, the Golden Globes had a shift towards seriousness this year, which resulted in some unintentional chaos. Nikki Glaser, who brought humor as a light-hearted big sister figure, admitted that she hadn’t seen the stage production of “Wicked” before the film came out due to high school friends. However, despite the funny banter, the choices for winners were predictable and uninspiring. The Golden Globes, aiming to clean up its image after being canceled, appeared to follow broader trends rather than promoting chaos.

In terms of films, “The Brutalist” and “Emilia Pérez” gained popularity, while the television categories seemed to mirror the Emmys’ choices. Despite these shortcomings, there were still some entertaining moments, often courtesy of Nikki Glaser herself, as well as glamour from movie stars like Demi Moore, who won an award for “The Substance.” Her speech, highlighting the allure of great speeches, was a shining example of awards season magic.

In a more casual and friendly tone, Nikki Glaser’s humorous opening monologue stood out. As a seasoned roast comic, Glaser dialed down the heat for a more collegial vibe during the Golden Globes hosting gig, but she didn’t shy away from good-natured jabs. She poked fun at Joker 2 and its missing table, the possibility of a future culprit hiding among the attendees (implying it was most likely a man), and even made light of how Timothée Chalamet sounds like something Adam Sandler might say. The celebrities in the room may not have fully grasped Glaser’s humor initially, but she eventually won them over, especially when she managed to coax a “Chal-O-MAYYY” from Sandler himself. It was quite an entertaining spectacle.

Originally, we knew that Isabella Rossellini, an esteemed actress from Hollywood who gave the most snooty curtsy in Conclave, has her own farm and an endearing Instagram account dedicated to it. However, Zoe Saldaña’s mention of visiting her co-nominee for lunch during her Best Supporting Actress – Motion Picture acceptance speech opened a new door to celebrity gossip I never thought existed. Who else is Isabella inviting over? What conversations are they having behind closed doors? Who is the best gossiper among them? (Hint: It’s probably always Isabella.) Wouldn’t it be interesting to see an Hot Ones type of show, but instead of hot sauces, it’s Isabella making people do farm chores and getting them to talk about the absurdities of this industry? Absolutely, I would.

Nikki Glaser summarized Babygirl with a concise, spot-on opinion: she gave it a thumbs-up twice.

The intense rivalry between Roman Roy, portrayed by Kieran Culkin, and Kendall Roy, played by Jeremy Strong, resurfaces momentarily!

Both actors were nominated for their supporting roles in “A Real Pain” and “The Apprentice”. As predicted, it was Kieran Culkin who took the win and delivered one of his signature witty, impromptu speeches – “my wife and I shared a shot with Mario Lopez. Definitely feeling it now! The rest of my speech is history. RIP it, Kieran, you’re doing great!” This was followed by Jeremy Strong looking off into the distance while donning a bucket hat that Kendall Roy would undoubtedly also wear.

Questioning the Design: How was that room arranged, exactly?
I found it peculiar that the hosts were consistently turned away from a good portion of the audience, facing a camera positioned uncomfortably close to their faces. It seemed as though none of the winners could make their way to the stage without first figuring out the enigma of a nearby bridge troll. I couldn’t help but wonder if this event was conceived by Rumpelstiltskin after a few glasses of Champagne. As Seth Rogen aptly put it during his speech, “First off, I want to say that this whole angled camera thing is odd. It feels inelegant and strange.

It appears there might have been an issue with the teleprompter, as it seemed that each presenter was grappling with a technical glitch while on stage.

By the way, could you tell me how many hidden microphones there were in that room? It’s quite disrespectful to hear phone alerts during speeches, especially when our respected Toranaga-sama is receiving his Best Actor in a Television Series – Drama award. Today’s public events shouldn’t be used as an opportunity for people to behave impolitely. Let’s remember to silence our phones before attending major televised award shows, celebrities!

In this rephrased version, here’s how I would put it:

Seth Rogen and Catherine O’Hara reminisced about their unusual Canadian film credits, which include adult films, during a recent conversation. Amused by the peculiar camera angles they encountered, Rogen joked about various Canadian productions they have been recognized for in their homeland, such as one where O’Hara nursed an otter. Then, Rogen humorously discussed his Canadian pornography credits, including the award-winning “Moose Knuckles 2: Knuckles Deep.” This might just be the funniest Canadian segment at any awards show since Robin Williams performed “Blame Canada” at the Oscars.

It’s disappointing not to watch Nikki Glaser’s “Pope-ular” song all the way through. The concept of bringing out an oversized Glinda wand and pope hat, followed by a musical number that combines elements from Wicked and Conclave, is funny and intriguing. However, we’d love to see any performer (not Rob Lowe) carry out an amusing awards show musical performance in its entirety. Let’s have a full rendition of “Insane in the Pin-guane”!

In addition, Nikki Glaser’s exclamation, “Wait… this isn’t good?” seemed to take Ariana Grande aback in the crowd.

Wow: Colin Farrell and Andrew Scott appearing in a movie together?

It was quite likely that Colin Farrell would win for The Penguin (with TV roles, a popular HBO project, three hours of makeup each day, and that unusual gabagool voice), but Andrew Scott gave a more intricate and fierce performance in Ripley. It was disappointing that Scott didn’t win. However, during Farrell’s acceptance speech, he mentioned they were working on a movie together, joking it wasn’t even available on Betamax. If you’re interested, it’s the 1997 film Drinking Crude: “A crude oil worker faces tension with his best friend when they are both assigned to work in the small town where he dropped out of school as a teenager.” What a dramatic story!

Could it be that there’s talk of Zendaya and Tom Holland being engaged, given the large ring she was wearing on her left hand, paired with that stunning copper dress and stylish bob haircut? Or could it be that Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross are known for spinning tunes at weddings?

During the CBS broadcast, Ted Danson and Viola Davis were not included in the main event.
However, the ceremony recognized that Danson won this year’s Carol Burnett Award and Davis received the Cecil B. DeMille Award. Additionally, Davis graced the stage to present Best Female Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama. The acceptance speeches for these prestigious awards were held at a separate event on Friday evening instead of being included in the usual broadcast as they have been in previous years. It’s a shame that two highly respected actors like Danson and Davis didn’t get their moment in the national spotlight during the main telecast, and we missed out on seeing them shine.

It came as a surprise to some that Vin Diesel’s love for Dungeons & Dragons is well-known, even being highlighted during his introduction of the award for Best Cinematic and Box Office Achievement – Motion Picture. However, this isn’t trivial information about Vin; rather, it’s deeply rooted in his persona, much like his ongoing feud with The Rock. In fact, Diesel referenced The Rock during his speech, hinting at their long-standing rivalry and perhaps reigniting it. Despite the less-than-impressive performance of Fast X, this moment was so subtly shady that I almost find myself forgiving him for it.

In a heartfelt acceptance speech following her first significant acting award, Demi Moore passionately shared her journey of breaking free from industry stereotypes that labeled her as a lightweight actress unfit for serious roles. Her captivating speech drew parallels to the underdog narrative in her film “The Substance,” and seemed to have earned her some potential support for an Oscar nomination, as evidenced by emotional reactions from fellow actors like Kathy Bates, who even shed tears during the heartfelt moment.

On a night filled with applause for achievements, Jon M. Chu’s speech stood out as particularly boastful, attempting to argue that Wicked is not just a successful movie, but a significant one that carries messages of hope and change.

Are you frequently asked if you’re feeling a prickling sensation? If you’re worried about potential infections in your anus or genitals, avoid buying any drugs promoted during the commercial breaks of the Golden Globes. These ads are sponsored by Eli Lilly and Company. Instead, enjoy the live broadcast on CBS.

The captivating tennis music created by Atticus Ross and Trent Reznor, titled “Challengers,” was rightfully awarded the Golden Globe for Best Original Score. After being immersed in its rhythm while wearing noise-cancelling headphones, several voters believed it should have swept the category with three awards, one each for the trio of Art-Tashi-Patrick. However, the Golden Globes Foundation decided against that. Still, receiving one award is nothing to scoff at!

SIGNIFICANT: The Shōgun triumphantly won all four categories it was nominated in.
These victories were well-deserved, but the Globes aren’t always predictable, are they? Kudos to Hiroyuki Sanada, adorable winner Tadanobu Asano, Anna Sawai, and creators Justin Marks and Rachel Kondo. In their Best Television Series – Drama acceptance speech, they joked about how their marriage almost didn’t make it through the first season of the series. Here’s hoping they find their lost tortoise before filming begins for season two later this year.

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2025-01-06 09:55