Southern Charm Recap: Body Shots Fired

by

The episode jumps right into the action with Craig already shouting at someone. Interestingly, when this show is broadcast in Mexico, it’s titled “In Medias Res” – similar to how “Rugrats” is known as “Aventuras en Pañales” (or “Diaper Adventures”) there. This all started in the previous episode when Shep suggested a game where everyone offered constructive criticism to each other. Venita advised Austen to be more assertive, and Craig mistakenly – but not surprisingly – took that as a dig at himself. Venita could plausibly deny it was about him since she didn’t mention his name, but it clearly was.

Craig keeps escalating the argument by repeatedly calling Venita a bully, which highlights why he wouldn’t be suited for a legal career. Simply accusing someone isn’t enough – you need proof. He can’t point to a single instance of Venita actually behaving like a bully. Whitner tries to get Craig to calm down, but he doesn’t listen. For the first time this season, Venita responds with anger and confronts Craig. The show then shows a series of clips explaining the history of their conflict, and they continue to argue. Craig claims Venita is constantly abusive, but it’s unclear if he even understands the meaning of the word, especially considering how little they’ve interacted all season. It’s hard to believe her behavior is ‘incessant’ given their limited interactions.

Salley passionately defends Venita, saying, “We’re not attacking her. We have issues, but she’s one of us.” It’s a confusing statement – like a Katy Perry song, switching between support and disagreement. Essentially, Salley is telling everyone to stop criticizing Venita, even though she doesn’t fully agree with her. However, Salley doesn’t seem to realize how weak of a defense that is. After Craig steps away, Venita thanks Whitner for being the only one on her side, and she remains upset with Rodrigo and Austen for a full day. Whitner points out that everyone is at least a little bit in the wrong, and I appreciate his honesty – he’s right. While both women are somewhat at fault, Craig consistently seems to be the most off-base.

As the group exited the restaurant, Salley and Austen fell behind. She playfully pushed him into the men’s restroom and quickly kissed him. While I’ve been in a public restroom before, this situation – a woman kissing a man in the men’s room – feels like a strange symbol of current cultural shifts.

The following day, Rod quietly climbed into bed with Austen for a cuddle and to hear all about Austen’s make-out session with Salley – something I highly doubt. While everyone else headed out to surf or ride ATVs, Charley was lugging around a full-sized suitcase. Shep jokingly asked her, “Are you Diana Ross?” It’s unclear who prompted that odd reference – maybe someone like a sixty-year-old gay man living in Palm Springs?

Most of the guys, along with Salley, went off-roading on ATVs, and it was clear Salley and Austen were really hitting it off – even more than Whitney would be around guitars. Austen confessed to Craig that he enjoyed kissing Salley and went with it because he admired her boldness. He also admitted he’s eager to do a lot more kissing now that he’s single. But honestly, Austen’s in trouble – he kissed Salley, and she’s already told his mother and sent out wedding invitations! That’s what happens when you kiss someone in the bathroom. Meanwhile, Craig told Austen he kissed Charley and likes her, but Salley makes things awkward whenever they’re all together.

Shep, Whitner, Molly, Charley, and Venita are all together at the beach. Molly questions Charley about how she feels after seeing Craig lose his temper with Venita, wondering if it bothers her. Charley admits it wasn’t a great moment, but insists she isn’t responsible for his behavior and doesn’t want to be judged for it. She feels he needs to be accountable for his own actions. However, dating someone who acts like that can be seen as quietly approving of it. Paige mentioned on Summer House that this was a key issue in their breakup – she disliked Craig’s behavior, especially his dishonesty, and resented having to defend him even when she disagreed with him. Now, Craig is putting Charley in the same awkward spot, and she seems to be accepting it. It’s a difficult situation for everyone involved.

Everyone ended up at a remote bar, drinking heavily. Afterwards, someone – likely Arya Stark – seemingly collected their faces, leaving them to dry in the dirt. This suggests she’s been using them to create disguises. The only noteworthy events during their meal were Austen revealing that Craig and Charley kissed, and then admitting he enjoys erotic films with a specific, unusual plot. He presented it as a harmless interest in the story, which was a bit ironic.

The group skips food and heads straight for tequila shots in a lively part of town, only fueling up with a few stringy quesadillas. They’re already heavily intoxicated, and things quickly escalate. Salley completely loses control, and Austen suggests doing body shots. Someone – Salley, specifically – is eager to participate. Honestly, body shots are ridiculous. They’re a childish stunt best left to teenagers, and anyone over thirty engaging in them deserves a stern look. The whole thing is messy and awkward; they can’t even manage to pour the tequila without making a sticky mess on Salley’s stomach. With a full hour-long car ride coming up, someone really needs to grab a wet wipe.

After this, Salley completely falls apart. She confronts Charley, admitting she knows Charley kissed Craig. Salley complains that Charley should have told her immediately, which is incredibly frustrating – it’s entirely her own fault for putting herself in this position! Honestly, Salley is more annoying than people who block the subway stairs while glued to their phones. Just like they’re obstacles for everyone else, she’s sabotaging herself. She created this mess by constantly badmouthing Craig, and now she’s upset about missing out on important moments in a relationship? It’s ridiculous, and I wish she’d just stop.

Charley claims their friendship is okay, but Salley strongly disagrees, feeling like she’s being deceived. Salley feels Charley is deliberately avoiding the topic of her dating Craig, and that’s seen as a lie by omission. Either way, Salley would likely criticize the relationship if it were brought up. She’s essentially trapping Charley in a no-win situation, which doesn’t seem very supportive. Salley admits she’s upset because their friendship has changed, and it’s clear she’s contributing to that change. While Salley may be acting irrationally, at least Charley appears as frustrated with the situation as everyone else.

Charley complains to Craig that Salley always complicates things, and Craig seems detached and a bit lost. As they’re getting ready to leave in the vans, Craig slips away to grab tequila, beer, and cigarettes from a local store – a gesture that’s both thoughtful and a little chaotic. When he returns and joins Salley, Shep, and Charley in the van, he takes off his hat, revealing hair as disheveled as his actions. Salley comments that he looks crazy.

Craig completely lost it. “If you ever tell me I look crazy again, we’re finished,” he yelled. He started screaming and somehow managed to stand up inside the moving van as they drove down a bumpy road in Mexico. Ironically, he was surfing remarkably well during this outburst – it was the best anyone had seen all day. Salley managed to get a pointed comment in, saying Craig never takes responsibility for his actions, which she declared was the only truthful thing she’d ever said on TV. Craig refused to accept this, telling her he was cutting her out of his life. He accused her of interfering where she didn’t belong, and while clearly upset about something involving Charley, he wouldn’t directly address it. Instead, he repeatedly muttered “Fucking loser” – a relentless, rhythmic repetition that felt endless, like the waves, the desert landscape, or the flow of tequila. He couldn’t stop himself, it was as if the phrase was a curse. He kept repeating it, seemingly for every star, fish, and sunburned tourist around. The rant continued as night fell and the van slowed, and Craig finally realized he’d been talking to himself the entire time.

Read More

2026-02-26 07:55