At the 82nd Golden Globes, Nikki Glaser, though she didn’t win her category, stood out with her witty monologue that overshadowed last year’s event. Despite a confusing presenter setup and an overall chaotic atmosphere, Glaser consistently shone, often changing costumes to deliver fresh jokes. One of the highlights was her performance of a hilarious blend of “Glinda” and “The Pope,” singing a mix of “Wicked” and “Conclave.” She sang, “You will be… ‘pope-ular!’ You’re gonna be ‘pope-u-lar.'” However, she was abruptly interrupted by a fake stage note in her earpiece, feigning distress over potentially embarrassing herself in front of Elton John.
Good one! She got us!
Not everyone was prepared for a classic, cheesy Billy Crystal-esque musical spoof. The expression on Ariana Grande’s face in the audience when Glaser mentions that this part is lackluster speaks volumes. For the sake of Ariana Grande and to rid myself, and possibly other Vulture writers, of this catchy tune that’s invading our thoughts, I reluctantly offer you: “Pope-ular.
Pope-ular
You’re gonna be pope-u-lar
I’ll teach you the proper puns
When you talk to nuns
Little ways to flirt and flounce, ooh!
I’ll show you what robes to wear
How to fix your hair
Everything that really counts to be pope-ular
I’ll help you be pope-u-lar
You’ll hang with your acolytes
You’ll be good at rites
Know the prayers you’ve got to know
So let’s start!
Cause you’ve got to beat Tedesco
Don’t be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality hypostasis
Now that I’ve chosen to become a pal, a sis …
… ter (or a brother)
There’s no-body other
Not when it comes to …
Pope-ular
I know about pope-u-lar
And with an assist from me to the papacy
Instead of dreary where you were
(Well, are)
You’re gonna do a vape pull
For becoming papal
-Ler
-Lar
Alleluiaaaaaaaa
Aaaaaaaaa
We’re gonna make you
Pope
U
Lar
When I see depressing Catholics
With their lame Nespress-ing gadgets
I remind them on their own behalf
To
Think
Of
Celebrated heads of church
Or unbesmirched conclaviators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don’t make me laugh!
They were pope-ular?
RIGHT!
It’s all about pope-u-lar
It’s not about aptitude
It’s the way you’re viewed
So it’s very shrewd to be
Very very pope-ular
Like
Bellini
Why Miss Cardinal Thomas Lawrence!
Look at you … You’re beautiful!
(Ralph Fiennes: I have to go …)
You’re welcome!
And though you protest
That he’s intersex …
I know clandestinely
You’re gonna grin and bear it
Your newfound pope-u-larity
Alleluiaaaaaaa
Aaaaaa
You’ll be pope-u-lar
Just not
Quite as pope-u-lar
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2025-01-06 09:53