Minority Mindset

According to our turtleneck-wearing hero, Leios is Cardano’s most “ambitious” Ouroboros yet. (You know, as opposed to their previous napkin-doodle releases.) It’s got a telescoping design that “extends Prowse,”—try not to snicker—and can apparently shrink back to the old system faster than I can delete a questionable Tinder message. No worries about collapsing into chaos though: all your Byzantine-fault-tolerance and non-stop uptime are still on the table. (Yes, 24/7, like your least favorite fast-food joint.)

According to crypto analyst Ali Martinez on X (formerly Twitter… don’t ask), these whales have purchased a jaw-dropping 900 million XRP tokens over the past month. And let’s just say, it’s got everyone buzzing like bees at a honey convention. Apparently, these whales believe in Ripple’s future more than I believe in getting my morning coffee. ☕️

Ah, the economic stage—so fraught, so fickle! As world leaders bicker like characters in a farce, the fate of both the commerce and our dear Bitcoin teeters. Some prognosticators, those expert Cassandras, anticipate that May’s dialogue will set the financial salons at ease. Still, Bitcoin, that rascal, has a reputation for soaring amidst crisis! In the last supper of 24 hours: $34 million worth of dramatic liquidations! Buyers donned their capes and ended $8.5 million positions, while the ever-pessimistic bears retired with $25.4 million less in their coffers. Who knew finance was such fine theater? 🎬

On the eve of his descent upon a Toronto convention (where men gather to praise the unknowable), O’Leary announced, “Crypto, within five years, shall be the 12th sector.” Of course. And five years from now, will we have discovered the meaning of life or merely new forms of bankruptcy? The roulette wheel of fate spins – but this time, it requires a blockchain transaction.

Distinguished actors upon this grand stage — pray, observe Franklin Templeton — have hailed this new chapter as a most agreeable prospect. They assure their fellow investors that Bitcoin’s reputation for virtue (as a store of value) shall not be sullied, despite shrill protestations from the most obstinate maximalists — who, it must be said, would see scandal in a misplaced cravat. 🎩

Allow me to present the musings of the ever-prophetic Mr. Robert Kiyosaki, an esteemed gentleman who has taken to the modern town square of X platform to groan over the global economy’s frail constitution. Fears of unemployment, he writes, are spreading rather like an unfortunate head cold, with the consequence that neither markets nor dowries are looking particularly robust.