Larry Fink’s Token Topsy-Turvy: Pandas Go Digital! 😂💥

by

My dear reader, picture this: old Larry Fink, that wizard of Wall Street, sporting a monocle and a top hat (or perhaps not, but one must imagine such things), declaring to the world on CNBC that we’re merely toddling at the starting blocks of tokenizing every blessed item under the sun-from real estate that could use a spot of digital dusting to equities that hadn’t yet learned their manners to bonds busily trying to float along. “At the beginning, dash it all!” he booms with the earnestness of a vicar discovering tax loopholes. 😉

And what’s the clever wheeze? Why, BlackRock is merrily re-potting those stodgy traditional assets into digital bloomers, so investors can frolic in their digital gardens without ever having to step out into the wilds. “Stay in the ecosystem,” advises sir Fink, as if urging a chap to stick to his cucumber sandwiches and not meddle with foreign cuisine. Sarcasm alert: because who wants old-fashioned money when you can have it pixellated? 🙄

The Next Jolly Caprice of Chance

Fink, that keen bean, fancies luring the colossal $4 trillion crypto horde into the sanctum of traditional trudges like exchange-traded funds-by tokenizing them, of course, making them as accessible as a raffle ticket at a church fête. “There’s $4.1 trillion lounging in digital wallets globally,” he chirps, with a cheeky aside that much of it’s cavorting beyond Uncle Sam’s shores. “Tokenize an ETF, digitize the lot, and behold! Novice investors fresh from crypto’s fevered embrace could toddle straight into retirement’s comfy armchair.” Imagine that: from wild crypto escapades to sipping tea like gentlemen. How droll! 😏

“There’s $4.1 trillion of money sitting globally in digital wallets,” he said before adding that a lot of that money is outside the United States.”

“If we could tokenize an ETF, you know, digitize that ETF, we could have investors who are just beginning to invest in markets through, let’s say, crypto. They’re investing in it, but now we could get them into the more traditional long-term retirement products.”

He terms this the “next wave of opportunity” for BlackRock across the next decade. Wave, eh? More like a tsunami of tomfoolery, I’d say, with BlackRock gleefully surfing the crest for the next ten summers. 🌊

The nugget that tickled my funny bone most from Fink’s chinwag was his blithe allusion to abandoning those pesky traditional assets for digital dalliances. “If we can tokenize an ETF, we can ensnare investors who are just…” trailed off the tweet, but one completes the thought: just utterly bamboozled by all this modernity? Ah, the joys of progress! 📱💸

– Eleanor Terrett (@EleanorTerrett) October 14, 2025

BlackRock, mind you, is no bloomin’ amateur at this crypto caper. They’ve whipped up the largest tokenized cash money market fund, dubbed BUIDL (a name that sounds like it ought to be a hearty breakfast), hauling in $2.8 billion under management. And let’s not forget their whopper of a Bitcoin ETF, IBIT, now bulging beyond $100 billion AUM. Quite the golden goose, or rather, golden blockchain chicken. 🐔

“It’s not about if the market’s going up or down, or if there’s a bubble in crypto or if there’s a bubble in technology … It’s about being in the market throughout the cycle,” he told CNBC’s Jim Cramer.

RWA Sector Shenanigans

The real-world asset tokenization bazaar is in a veritable tizzy, perched at an all-time high of $33.8 billion in on-chain value, per RWA.xyz. That’s a jaunty 115% leap since the year’s outset, with nigh on half swirling in tokenized private credit. And despite all the frightful FUD (that’s Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt, for the uninitiated-rather like Worple the butler fretting over the silverware), Ethereum lords it over the domain with a 57% market share, ballooning to 78% when its faithful lieutenants like ZKsync, Polygon, and Arbitrum join the fray. One suspects BlackRock will lean on Ethereum’s ancient throne rather than conjure a new contraption-why upset the apple cart, after all? 😂

Read More

2025-10-15 11:05