IRGC: Masters of Crypto Sleight-of-Hand (And Sanctions, Oh My!) 🤑

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Key Highlights

  • The IRGC, Iran’s favorite financial magicians, quietly funneled $1B through UK crypto exchanges, because who needs a global economy when you can just pretend to be a blockchain? 🤝
  • Zedcex and Zedxion, two exchanges with the subtlety of a brick wall, operated as one giant money laundering hub, peaking at 87% IRGC-controlled activity in 2024. Impressive, if you ignore the part where it’s illegal. 🤯
  • Babak Zanjani, a sanctioned oil-laundering legend, is now moonlighting as a crypto wizard, proving that Iran’s financial infrastructure is just a side hustle for its oil mafia. 💸
  • Most transactions used USDT on TRON, because nothing says “trust me” like a stablecoin on a blockchain that’s basically a glorified calculator. 🤖

The IRGC, Iran’s go-to squad for bypassing sanctions, recently moved nearly $1 billion in crypto through UK-based exchanges with the subtlety of a whisper. According to TRM Labs, this digital sleight-of-hand is a masterclass in “let’s ignore the rules while pretending to follow them.” 🎩

It turns out, when you’re a foreign terrorist organization (as designated by the U.S., Australia, and Canada), crypto is just another word for “get-rich-quick scheme.” 🚀

Exchanges: A One-Stop Shop for Money Laundering

Zedcex and Zedxion, two exchanges that look like they were designed by someone who Googled “how to run a crypto platform,” functioned as a single hub for IRGC funds. Their architecture was so efficient, it made a Swiss bank vault look amateurish. 🏦

TRM Labs tracked 56% of their transactions back to IRGC-controlled entities, spiking to 87% in 2024. If only they’d added a little more flair to their compliance checks… like maybe a “do not do this” sign. 🚫

USDT on TRON was their weapon of choice, because who needs regulation when you can just send dollars wrapped in blockchain? It’s like sending a telegram, but with more fees and less accountability. 🧾

Babak Zanjani: From Oil to Crypto, Still Making Waves

Babak Zanjani, a man who previously laundered oil money for the IRGC, has now pivoted to crypto. His companies, Zedcex and Zedxion, share directors and addresses like a game of corporate musical chairs. If only they’d played by the rules… but hey, that’s why they’re on the sanctions list. 🚨

Zanjani’s latest move? Promoting blockchain as Iran’s future while secretly using it to fund sanctioned actors. It’s like running a “ethical finance” seminar while robbing a bank. 🎓

Crypto as a Global Expressway for Illicit Funds

Zedcex-linked wallets moved most IRGC funds via USDT on TRON, because nothing says “transparency” like sending money through a decentralized ledger. Funds flowed to Iranian exchanges like Nobitex, which probably just shrugged and said, “We’re just a platform.” 😬

There was also USDZ, a token that’s basically a dollar with a cooler name, marketed on Telegram. Because nothing says “legitimacy” like advertising in a chat group. 📲

ChainUp, a Singapore-based white-label provider, helped scale the operation, proving that even the most basic crypto platforms can become money laundering hubs with enough bad decisions. 🛠️

Sanctions? What Sanctions?

TRM Labs traced $10 million in USDT to Sa’id Ahmad Muhammad al-Jamal, a Houthi-linked financier. The IRGC bypassed mixers and brokers, turning Zedcex into a “financial rail” instead of a passive platform. It’s like using a train to rob a bank, but with more blockchain jargon. 🚆

This isn’t just crypto crime-it’s a full-blown financial heist with a side of geopolitics. Regulators now have to figure out who’s really running these platforms, because sometimes the villains wear ties and claim they’re just “innovating.” 🎩

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2026-01-12 13:52