Fed Holds Rates, BTC Cries, Gold Laughs: Trump’s Next Move?

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So, the Federal Reserve finally woke up from their 2026 nap and dropped their first FOMC statement of the year on January 28. Big whoop. Turns out, they did exactly what Polymarket and Kalshi predicted. Shocking. Meanwhile, Bitcoin’s like, “Oh great, more bearish pressure,” while gold’s over there doing a victory lap like it just won the Olympics.

Fed Hits Pause on Rate Cuts: Powell’s Like, “Eh, Good Enough”

After cutting rates three times in 2025-because why not?-the Fed decided to hold rates steady between 3.5% and 3.75%. Jerome Powell’s basically saying, “Yeah, the economy’s doing fine, we did a 75 bps cut in 2026, and we’re still QE-ing like it’s going out of style. What’s the problem?”

Bitcoin Shakes Like a Leaf, Gold’s Like, “Catch Me If You Can”

Post-FOMC, Bitcoin took a nosedive. Again. Rejected at $90k? Twice? Ouch. Sitting pretty at $89,221 now. Meanwhile, gold’s like, “Hold my beer,” and jumps 3.5% to a new all-time high of $5,367. Bitcoin’s probably muttering, “This is fine,” while its house is on fire.

What’s Next? Trump, QE, and Cathie Wood’s Crystal Ball

So, the Fed’s trying to save the dollar, but Trump’s like, “Cut rates, baby!” Scott Bessent, the Treasury Secretary, says Trump’s picking a new Fed chair soon. Can’t wait for that circus. Meanwhile, Wall Street’s Cathie Wood’s all, “Crypto’s about to go parabolic, y’all!” Sure, Jan. Let’s see if Bitcoin can stop tripping over its own feet first.

In the meantime, gold’s sipping champagne, Bitcoin’s eating its feelings, and we’re all just waiting for the next episode of this financial soap opera. Stay tuned, folks. It’s gonna be a wild ride.

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2026-01-28 23:51