EU’s Crypto Plan: Ban It All and Hope for the Best!

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In a move that can only be described as “more blanket than a comfy duvet,” the European Union is seriously mulling over a grand sweep of a ban on all cryptocurrency transactions with Russia. Why target the pesky individual platforms when you can just throw a massive net over the whole thing and hope some fish don’t swim through?

Shift Toward a Comprehensive Crypto Ban

The EU, in its infinite wisdom (or perhaps a caffeine-fueled brainstorming session), believes that a total ban on cryptocurrency transactions with Russia will be more effective than the traditional method of listing individual entities like they’re bad kids on a school bulletin board. After all, nothing says “we mean business” quite like an all-encompassing prohibition served up with a side of vague bureaucracy.

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According to the Financial Times, which recently took a break from reporting on more mundane matters (like the weather or the latest celebrity scandal), Brussels suspects these crypto entities are doing a splendid job at facilitating trade that fortifies Russia’s war efforts in Ukraine. Hence, simply blacklisting a few crypto service providers is like trying to stop a flood with a teacup-pointless, really.

“Any further listing of individual cryptoasset service providers is therefore likely to result in the set-up of new ones to circumvent those listings,” the document suggests, as if it were written by someone who has never met a teenager determined to sneak out of the house. The EU proposes to prohibit engagement with any crypto asset service provider or use of any platform that would allow the transfer of crypto assets established in Russia. Sounds foolproof, right?

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The commission had high hopes of wrapping this up before February 24-just in time for the anniversary of Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine. However, at least three member states have decided to rain on the parade, making agreement seem as likely as finding a unicorn in your backyard. Other countries are worried that such a ban might simply send business scurrying off to non-European providers like a cat from a bath.

Among the targets of these proposals is Russia’s A7 payments platform and its ruble-pegged stablecoin, A7A5. Additionally, the commission has suggested sanctioning 20 more banks because, well, more is merrier, and banning transactions involving the digital ruble, which is backed by Russia’s central bank. How quaint!

As if that weren’t enough, the commission is also looking to restrict the export of so-called dual-use goods to Kyrgyzstan, which, since 2022, has been trading with Russia like it’s going out of style. EU sanctions envoy David O’Sullivan is expected to hop over to Kyrgyzstan later this month-probably armed with a clipboard and very serious expressions-concerned that this Central Asian country is playing hide-and-seek with Moscow’s restrictions.

FAQ ❓

  • What is the EU proposing? A blanket ban on all crypto transactions with Russia. Because why not?
  • Why target crypto platforms? Brussels reckons Russian entities are using them to sidestep sanctions and fund the war. Clever little devils!
  • Which assets are in focus? Russia’s A7 payments platform, its A7A5 stablecoin, and the digital ruble. You know, the usual suspects.
  • How does Kyrgyzstan fit in? The EU plans to restrict dual-use exports to Kyrgyzstan, which has become a trendy hub for sanctions dodging. Who knew?

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2026-02-13 04:07