Crypto’s Wild Ride: Fed Rate Cuts Incoming? 😱

The estimable Tom Lee, Chairman of Bitmine – a name which, one trusts, speaks for itself – has deigned to offer a prediction. Should the Federal Reserve, in a display of what one can only describe as belated common sense, lower interest rates, it appears our digital funny money, Bitcoin and Ether, might experience something approaching a ‘rally’. The Nasdaq-100, naturally, shall also benefit. One assumes the caviar budget for the tech elite will be unaffected.

Tom Lee: Fed Cuts Could Spark Major Moves for Bitcoin and Ethereum

Mr. Lee, presiding over the vast and frankly bewildering holdings of Bitmine, believes the Federal Reserve’s machinations are about to create a rather splendid opportunity for the crypto world. One hopes his predictions are as sound as Bitmine’s treasury is… substantial. 🤔

Speaking on CNBC’s Closing Bell (one pictures a somber gathering of financial types dissecting the latest absurdities), Lee elucidated that a rate cut would bestow particular favour upon the Nasdaq-100’s “Magnificent Seven” and the now-ubiquitous AI sector. Beyond this bastion of sensible investment, our friend Bitcoin and Ethereum are, apparently, poised to ‘make a monster move’ within a mere three months. A ‘monster move’, one notes, is hardly a quantifiable metric. 🙄

Small-cap stocks and financials, too, are apparently to be recipients of this largesse. One imagines the champagne corks are already being loosened in anticipation.

These pronouncements come, naturally, amidst the usual confusion regarding job figures and the enduring mystery of inflation. Crypto investors, it’s said, view rate cuts as a stimulus akin to a rather potent restorative tonic. After months of languishing in a rather depressing state of ‘sideways trading’ – a phrase guaranteed to put one to sleep – they yearn for excitement. 🥳

Should Mr. Lee’s perspicacity prove accurate, the next quarter may, indeed, be significant for both conventional equities and digital assets, particularly Bitcoin and Ethereum. Investors, gentle readers, are preparing to reposition their portfolios against this… ‘softer monetary policy backdrop.’ One can only pray they know what they are doing. 🙏

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2025-09-17 08:07