Coinbase’s Great ICO Comeback: Transparency or Theatrics? 🎭

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Coinbase, ever the guardian of crypto virtue, returns to the token sale arena with a “regulated platform” to sprinkle transparency on the chaotic fundraising circus. Its first guinea pig, Monad, will debut via an “algorithm-driven” sale. How noble-like trusting a fox to audit a chicken coop.

Yet whispers persist about the project’s token distribution resembling a pyramid scheme designed by Wall Street alumni. Who knew decentralization meant centralizing wealth in fewer hands?

A Theatrical Debut on the Platform of Trust

Coinbase’s grand reentrance aims to “structure” crypto fundraising, because nothing says integrity like a company that once fled the SEC’s glare to now play sheriff. 🤠

The plan? Host one token sale monthly, allocate tokens “fairly” via algorithm after a week-long purchase window. Only verified users can play-because nothing screams “democracy” like gatekeeping participation. All transactions in USDC, of course. 💸

Genuine, long-term supporters deserve more.

Whales, insiders and flippers shouldn’t be the only winners from token launches.

We’re launching a token sales platform on Coinbase to give teams a new way to distribute their token to their community, and give the community early…

– Brian Armstrong (@brian_armstrong) November 10, 2025

Monad, a Layer-1 blockchain promising scalability, kicks off this circus. 7.5% of supply to raise $187.5M at a $2.5B valuation. Because nothing says “grassroots” like a $2.5B debut. 🐳💸

But lo! The token distribution-a masterpiece of inequity.

Tokenomics: The Art of Concentrated Wealth

Monad’s tokenomics? A masterclass in “how to alienate retail investors while smiling for the cameras.”

Founders: 27% (a humble slice, really). VCs: 20% (bought at “discounted” rates, wink wink). Public: 7.5% (a crumb for the peasants). Ecosystem dev: 38.5% (a black hole for future dilution). 🧨

Monad has one of the most predatory tokenomics.

– Team allocation is at industry highest 27%
– VCs get 20% which they got at much lower prices to retail
– Ecosystem Development is at 38.5%, which is similar to Plasma and you know how that ended

– CoinMamba (@coinmamba) November 10, 2025

Ecosystem funds? A euphemism for “insider slush.” Governance by token weight? How avant-garde. Projects with such models historically thrive-right before collapsing under their own hubris.

Coinbase’s involvement? A fig leaf for respectability. But even fig leaves can’t hide the Emperor’s new tokenomics. Transparency? More like a magician’s sleight of hand. 🎩🐇

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2025-11-10 23:27