Oh great, Cboe is launching another way for people to lose money on crypto-but hey, at least it’s “regulated”! đ The long-dated bitcoin and ether futures are designed to give perpetual-style exposure, because apparently, regular futures just werenât confusing enough. Debuting Nov. 10, unless regulators wake up and say, “Wait, what?”
Cboe Throws a Hail Mary with 10-Year Bitcoin and Ether Futures (Good Luck!)
In a move that screams “desperate for relevance,” Cboe Global Markets has announced Continuous Futures contracts for bitcoin and ether. Because nothing says “stable investment” like betting on crypto prices a decade from now. đ Trading starts Nov. 10-assuming the SEC doesnât laugh them out of the room.
The geniuses at Cboe claim these instruments will provide “perpetual-style exposure” in a “regulated” environment. Translation: “Weâre giving you the thrill of unregulated crypto, but with extra paperwork!” Traders can now mismanage long-term crypto strategies efficiently. What a time to be alive.
Unlike normal futures (which already confuse most people), these contracts last 10 years-because who doesnât want to be locked into crypto volatility until 2033? Theyâll be cash-settled and “pegged to spot prices,” which basically means youâll lose money in slow motion. Daily adjustments? Sure, why not make it even more complicated?
Catherine Clay, Global Head of Derivatives at Cboe, tried to spin this as some kind of revolutionary bridge between traditional markets and crypto.
“Perpetual-style futures have gained strong adoption in offshore markets.” Translation: “People in unregulated markets love gambling!” Now, Cboe is bringing that same reckless energy to the U.S. market. Because if hedge funds and day traders werenât already making bad decisions, hereâs a shiny new way to do it.
This “launch” is just Cboeâs latest attempt to stay relevant in the crypto circus. First VIX futures, now this? Whatâs next-NFT derivatives? Oh wait, donât give them ideas. đŹ
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2025-09-10 09:13