Crypto News

Grayscale Investments, that solemn titan of crypto asset management, has submitted an S-1 registration statement to the SEC for a spot ETF tracking Hyperliquid’s HYPE token. The filing, dated March 20, 2026, is less a revolution and more a bureaucratic pirouette. Should the SEC nod in approval, the fund will trade as GHYP on Nasdaq, where it will presumably compete with other acronyms for the title of “Most Confusing to Grandmother.” Coinbase Custody, ever the obliging butler, will safeguard the fund’s assets, while CoinDesk’s Benchmark pricing data will calculate its net asset value-because nothing says “trust” like relying on the same entity that once confused a Bitcoin price spike for a joke.

As per the official scrolls dated March 20, Grayscale has tossed an S-1 registration form into the bureaucratic abyss of the US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). This proposed fund is set to pirouette on the NASDAQ stage under the glamorous moniker of GHYP. For those blissfully unaware, HYPE is the native token of Hyperliquid, a layer one blockchain crafted with the noble ambition of elevating the efficiency of decentralized finance applications. A standout feature? Its ability to facilitate direct perpetual futures trading, thereby allowing traders to frolic without the burden of gas fees. How very considerate!

On that fateful day of March 18, 2026, our crypto sage @Noalphalimits unveiled a masterstroke of analysis, inspired by the audacious remarks of Paul Atkins from the SEC. With a flourish, he proclaimed that most crypto assets are not securities-oh, what a shift from their previous dogmatic stance!

These jolly attacks are part and parcel of a grander scheme orchestrated by the AI industry to vanquish candidates perceived as anything but friendly towards their silicon-based shenanigans.

Ah, another week in the crypto circus, where the clowns wear Lambos and the elephants juggle decimal points. On the surface, it was a week of modest triumphs: XRP, Hyperliquid, and TRON all donned their dancing shoes, while Ethereum and Solana played it cool. But dig a little deeper, dear reader, and you’ll find a tale as threadbare as a Waugh protagonist’s morals.

The yellow rivulet, now down more than $1,100 from its February zenith, is teetering on the brink of the most disastrous weekly slide since 1983.

U.S. equity markets opened lower, the VIX fear gauge climbed to 25.44, and geopolitical tensions in the Middle East continue to simmer with no clear resolution in sight. Institutional flows, meanwhile – such as BlackRock’s $140 million deposit into Coinbase Prime earlier today – have yet to produce a clear directional signal. Because even institutions can’t agree on which way the wind is blowing.

Now, the pressing query that dances upon our lips: shall this momentum persist like a well-rehearsed monologue, or shall it retreat into the shadows, much like a shy performer at the end of a show?

“Behold!” he cries, as if channeling divine inspiration, “the price shall first plummet to $400, a purgatory for the weak, before ascending to its celestial peak.” The Fibonacci levels, those mystical numbers, are said to guide this dance. If BNB clings stubbornly above $526, Patel promises a “new all-time high”-a phrase that sounds grander when you forget it’s just a number on a chart.

With technical and on-chain omens aligning, XRP’s current state begins to resemble not a slumber, but a storm in the making-a tempest waiting to unleash its fury upon the complacent.