Babylon Labs has raised $15 million in funding from a16z crypto to support the development and scaling of Babylon Trustless BTCVaults, an infrastructure system designed to allow native bitcoin to be used as collateral across onchain financial applications, the company said in a blog post Wednesday. (Ah, yes-because nothing says “financial revolution” like locking up Bitcoin in a vault while pretending it’s still “free” 🤡)
Pray, mark this epoch of Solana’s triumph, where its network danceth with grace unparalleled! The Solana Daily, that herald of digital tidings, doth reveal a tale most astonishing: in the year 2025, Solana reigned supreme, executing transactions per second with the finesse of a court jester on a sugar high. 🃏
Oh, hello again, world! 🚀 Rumble and Tether have just launched the Rumble Wallet, a self-custody crypto wallet so fancy, it probably sips tea while judging your investment choices. 💸 Now, creators can receive USDT, XAUt, and BTC tips faster than you can say “bank fees.” Thanks to Tether’s Wallet Development Kit and MoonPay, it’s … Read more
A coalition of U.S. community bankers, bless their hearts, has beseeched Congress to amend the federal stablecoin legislation, insisting that this loophole should be snuffed out like a candle in a storm. 🌪️
Lo and behold! The ETFs, those sacred cows of modern finance, have been siphoning capital like a vampire at a blood bank. Bitwise and Grayscale, those noble stewards of wealth, poured $2.30 million and $1.60 million into DOGE coffers. Oh, the sweet, sweet sound of institutional investors suddenly remembering that DOGE exists! 🏦💥
Ce noble établissement, en date du 7 janvier 2026, s’illustre en investissant dans Ubyx Inc., cette petite société américaine pour ainsi dire, orchestrant la symphonie des dépôts tokenisés et autres stablecoins réglementés – presque comme si l’État français voulait vendre du pain, mais en version numérique! 🥖💻
Apparently, if the court says “nope” to Trump’s tariffs, the Treasury might have to cough up $133-$140 billion to importers. That’s like finding out your ex wants her engagement ring back, but the ring is actually a small country’s GDP. 🤑💍
Alas, the winds of fortune have turned fickle for our protagonist. His approval ratings, once as inflated as his promises, now sag like a deflated balloon at a child’s birthday party. Inflation, that silent assassin of political careers, has left voters grumbling, while the Republican base, ever the fractious family, squabbles like siblings over the last slice of pie. Polls, those fickle oracles, whisper of a Democratic resurgence, threatening to wrest control of the House from Trump’s grasp. How the mighty teeter on the edge of their pedestals! 🪨
Bitcoin’s price, that capricious beauty, has recovered, buoyed by a return of risk appetite. But heed the warning: the rally is led by spot trading, not leveraged positions, as if the market has finally grown a spine 🦴. Or perhaps it’s just another trick of the light 🕯️.
Fast forward to 2025: The Financial Intelligence Unit handed out only two new approvals for Virtual Asset Service Providers. The lucky ones? Happy Block and Blosafe. Talk about exclusivity! And just when you thought things couldn’t get slower, approval times soared from 11 months to about 16 months. Some unlucky souls have been twiddling their thumbs for over 600 days. Seriously, where’s the therapy for that?
