Crypto News

The MACD shows bearish momentum with negative readings of -321.31 😴. It’s like watching a toddler throw a tantrum, but with numbers. 📉

Yes, you heard that right. XRP is attempting a breakout, and everyone (well, at least a few analysts) is on high alert to see if this transformation holds up until December. It’s like watching a caterpillar finally turn into a butterfly-only, you know, with a bit more chart analysis and significantly less actual caterpillar involvement.

By 5:30 p.m. Eastern on the memorable date of November 12, the specter known as Canary’s XRP ETF, with its glamorous ticker XRPC, was declared officially effective, much like a clandestine decree whispered in the corridors of the SEC’s labyrinth. Fastest approval in the annals-an 8(a) automatic-effectiveness charm-leaves analysts scratching heads and wondering whether the gods of bureaucracy smiled or merely blinked.

Hold onto your digital wallets, folks! The FSA is putting forward a dazzlingly new regulatory framework that requires digital asset custodians to actually register before providing any services to cryptocurrency exchanges. Because, apparently, letting them operate without any oversight was the most innovative idea ever. The proposal is part of an urgent bid to stop hacks, especially after the catastrophic DMM Bitcoin breach. The plan is simple: only allow exchanges to use systems developed by those lucky enough to have registered. Problem solved! (We hope.)

Bloomberg analyst Eric Balchunas shared that Canary Capital’s Spot XRP ETF (XRPC) has already reached $26 million in trading volume within its first 30 minutes on Robinhood. 🤯💸

BONK’s journey on Wednesday was nothing short of a rollercoaster ride through the looking glass. It wobbled between $0.00001279 and $0.00001198, a 42% range that made even the most seasoned traders clutch their pearls. According to CoinDesk’s very serious technical analysis, this chaos was purely due to… well, chaos. No fundamentals involved-how thrilling.

On Wednesday, the Bitcoin network experienced a 2.37% dip in mining difficulty, plummeting from 155.97 trillion to 152.27 trillion. With Bitcoin prices dragging like a sad, deflated balloon and mining revenue lower than a doomsday clock, this adjustment is a very rare silver lining. Think of it as the universe saying, “Oops, forgot to make this harder… yet.”

With AB Chain’s high-speed network, the USD1 now zips through transactions faster than a champagne flute at a gala. And let’s not forget the deeper DeFi liquidity-because who doesn’t want their money to dance in the markets? 💸

On the fateful day of November 13, Grayscale Investments, with a flourish worthy of a Dostoevskian protagonist, filed a Form S-1 with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). This, dear reader, is no mere bureaucratic trifle-it is a declaration of war against the shadows of obscurity. The firm, operating under the ever-watchful eye of regulators, seeks to list its Class A common stock under the ticker symbol ‘GRAY.’ How fitting, for in this grayscale world, they dare to dream in color! 🎭🖤

Behold, the crypto realm teeters near critical levels as Bitcoin attempts to defy gravity above $100,000. At $102,933, it clings to hope with a 24-hour volume of $74.5 billion, though it’s slipped 1.84% like a courtier forgetting their lines. 🙃