Crypto News

The US Securities and Exchange Commission, that ever-vigilant watchdog of Wall Street (and now crypto), has officially thrown in the towel on its four-year snoop-fest into the Aave Protocol. Founder Stani Kulechov, probably after exhaling for the first time since 2021, confirmed the news. This marks a rare victory for decentralized finance, which has spent the last few years dodging regulatory bullets like Neo in The Matrix. Most importantly, Aave can now stop nervously glancing over its shoulder.

Unlike previous meltdowns, this slow-motion stumble feels less chaotic. Candles shrink like deflating balloons 🎈, signaling sellers stroll, not sprint, while buyers stay tucked in their dens, sipping lukewarm tea ☕. It’s the crypto equivalent of a polite “No, thank you.”

Behold the quest of Securitize as they promise natively tokenized stocks with regulatory applause! New shares aren’t just tossed into the digital wind; they find a home right on the issuer’s cap table, under the watchful eye of the SEC!

According to the chronicles of CoinGlass, a harbinger of financial doom, the recent tumult in the cryptocurrency market has been accompanied by a deluge of liquidations on the derivatives side. “Liquidation,” a term as cold and unforgiving as the winter in Yasnaya Polyana, refers to the forcible closure of open contracts that have amassed losses beyond a certain threshold. For the long investors, this calamity befalls when the asset’s price plummets, while for the shorts, it strikes when the price soars. A cruel game of chance, is it not? 🎲💥

“Nay!” cried the Grayscale, their quill trembling with the weight of prophecy. “Quantum risk, though a shadow on the horizon, shall not plague the Bitcoin price in 2026. It is but a footnote in the grand ledger of market whims.” 📜✨

That’s because Japan plays a unique role in global liquidity. When that liquidity tightens, Bitcoin often drops hard. 🤪

Everyone’s favorite flexible onboarding superstar, Coinbase, is clearly not content with just being a regular ol’ crypto exchange. Nope, they’re now dropping new options like they’re hot potatoes, giving investors more chances to throw money into the blockchain abyss.

‘Mr. Wall Street,’ a digital oracle with a penchant for self-aggrandizement, has unleashed a technical opus on Bitcoin, blending market whispers and psychological warfare to predict a cataclysmic plunge. He laments the collapse of the BTC bullish momentum, a fleeting mirage that now evaporates like morning dew. The market, once a gilded chariot, now plummets into the mire of a bearish purgatory.

Rumors swirl faster than a blockchain transaction upon hearing a new regulator’s decree. The markets? Frazzled, twitching, twirling-they await this spectacle with a mixture of hope, dread, and probably a little caffeine. Will he innovate or intimidate? The suspense is almost as intoxicating as a freshly mined Bitcoin-minus the dirt. 🤑

Oh boy, the U.S. labor market is throwing a tantrum. The unemployment rate soared to 4.6% in November-yeah, the highest since September 2021, or as I like to call it, “the good old days when everything was mildly less terrifying.” Official figures show folks are getting laid off faster than you can say “recession,” and everyone’s eyebrows are raised in that “uh-oh” way.