The desktop terminal, announced Dec. 13, is designed to let users trade, track portfolios, and manage positions from a larger-screen environment while maintaining synchronization with Phantom’s mobile and web experiences. One might say it’s the Phantom’s attempt to stretch its legs after years of crouching in the shadows of smartphones. 🧠
Kevin Hassett, a top contender for President Donald Trump’s Fed chair pick, just threw a major bucket of cold water on Trump’s ego. He stated that Trump’s voice would carry no weight in the central bank’s interest rate decisions under his chairmanship. Ouch! 😳
Bitcoin’s price looks calm on the surface, but deeper market mechanics suggest growing fragility beneath the range. (It’s like your ex’s Instagram: picture-perfect but one DM away from chaos. 📷💣)
In a move that has set the financial world aflutter, these two titans-one a stalwart of global banking, the other a darling of the crypto exchange-have announced an expansion of their digital asset partnership. Standard Chartered (LSE: STAN), with its air of venerable respectability, and Coinbase (Nasdaq: COIN), the enfant terrible of the crypto sphere, have decided to pool their talents. How quaint! 🌍✨
A new alliance of financial bigwigs has formed a group, possibly in a Zoom room where someone asked, “Why not?” The Coincidence for Prediction Markets (seriously, name it something cooler) now includes Kalshi, Crypto.com, Coinbase (Nasdaq: COIN), Robinhood (Nasdaq: HOOD), and Underdog. Translation: They’re all fighting state regulations so hard they might as well have painted a target on who? Ya’ll.
As the clock strikes mid-December, AVAX graces us with its presence at a modest $13, a far cry from its former glory but steadfastly above a demand zone that has proven more resilient than a Wildean wit. This zone, my friends, has absorbed sell pressure with the grace of a Victorian lady fainting at a ball, repeatedly acting as a structural floor across multiple timeframes. The price, ever the drama queen, has spent weeks consolidating, refusing to accelerate lower, much to the chagrin of the bears. 🐻
The settlement details need to be presented in a more elaborate way. Instead of listing them, weave them into the narrative. For instance, “Victims, those unfortunate souls who could prove their pecuniary losses, might find themselves in receipt of up to $5,100-a sum both generous and pitiful in the grand scheme of things.”
It turned out that the consensus client got a severe case of “resource exhaustion,” a fancy term for “it couldn’t handle the workload,” when it was forced to recompute state data at an exorbitant rate. Basically, it was like trying to do calculus during a rave-too many lights, too much noise, and the brain just gives up. 💻💥
Apparently, the Trump administration (yes, that Trump) has been cozying up to crypto like it’s the new golf buddy. And the SEC? They’re now less “regulation-by-enforcement” and more “let’s hold hands and skip through the blockchain together.” 🌈 Under this new, cuddly approach, they’ve launched a task force, dropped lawsuits like they’re hot, and even started something called “Project Crypto.” Because nothing says ‘we’re serious’ like a project with a cool name, right? Their latest masterpiece? A set of guidelines on crypto custody that reads like a mix between a self-help book and a thriller novel. 📖✨
CryptoQuant’s Exchange Reserve data revealed that a staggering 44.98 million LINK had vacated the exchanges over the past year, a migration so grand that it would make a migrating flock of geese blush with envy. This exodus saw Chainlink’s reserves dip to their lowest ebb in a full year, a state of affairs as disheartening as a man finding his favorite hat stolen by a mischievous parrot. 🦜💸