Crypto News

According to their November 24 press release, the questionnaire has been sent to both federal and state hopefuls, as if they were handing out party invitations to a very serious gala. 🎩

The price, you see, is rather… fragile. Like a reputation after a scandalous rumour. The poor buyers are scrambling, utterly failing to seize control, while momentum indicators whisper tales of exhaustion. Yet, even in this gloom, a flicker of possibility. One dares to suggest a turning point, though one always approaches such optimistic pronouncements with a healthy dose of cynicism. 😉

Founded in 2021 by Josh Schwartz, Dima Kogan, and Michael Volfman (no, not a law firm, despite the names), Fordefi operates from the bustling hubs of New York and Tel Aviv. Their multi-party computation wallet platform is like a digital Fort Knox, serving nearly 300 institutional clients and juggling over $120 billion in monthly transactions. Impressive, right? 🏦💼

From the data parlors of market-tracking platforms, we hear that Bitcoin’s dominance is ever so slowly creeping toward the mid-fifties. But, my dear, the XRP faithful-led by the intrepid DROP-are already penning their next great drama: a steep fall in Bitcoin’s reign, paving the way for XRP’s triumphant march to double digits. How utterly thrilling! 🎭

The chart, that ever-tragic canvas, now screams a tale of defeat: the head-and-shoulders pattern has officially crumbled, with price tumbling below the sacred $37-$38 threshold. Sellers, those unsung heroes of despair, seem to take a bows, while buyers-those faint-hearted romantics-stand by, just a little too meek. Clearly, unless some daring hero emerges, the descent into the abyss is imminent. 🎢🙃

Recently, Bitcoin has been playing hide-and-seek with its support levels, all the while forming an inverse head-and-shoulders on the 4-hour chart – which sounds like a really sarcastic way to describe a giant, confusing mountain of lines and squiggles. According to Feral Analysis (because who wouldn’t want a research firm with a name that sounds more like a wild animal than a financial analyst), this pattern could be a sign of a short-to-mid-term turnaround. Or, you know, a fancy way for the market to tease us.

Kraken has rolled out a set of rather spiffy improvements to its Krak app. Among the goodies: a cashback debit card, salary deposit, and an expanded array of wealth-tinkering instruments. The general idea? To make Krak look so temptingly practical that even the stodgiest bank-lover might give it an affectionate raise of the eyebrow. The whole ensemble also caters admirably to those who wish to juggle everyday payments while merrily dabbling in crypto. 🎩💸

With a breath that smells faintly of desperation and innovation, Klarna ventures onto the perilous Tempo, a blockchain spun from the minds of Stripe and Paradigm-two firms possibly more haunted by their own ambitions than by any fear of failure. This move, they say, is driven by some peculiar demand for “low-cost digital settlement rails”-as if humankind was not already shackled by enough illusions of progress-citing McKinsey estimates that the world’s transactions, a staggering $27 trillion, are begging for a cleaner, sleeker potion of digital magic, no matter the price of human soul.

In a rather unremarkable Tuesday notice, MoonPay triumphantly announced that New York’s esteemed financial regulator had deemed them worthy of this rare honor. What does this mean? Well, it means they can now offer crypto custody and over-the-counter trading services in New York. Big deal, right? In a world where people are still trying to figure out how to turn their Bitcoins into cold, hard cash, this seems like progress. Don’t you think?

The Grayscale Dogecoin ETF blasted off yesterday, becoming the first ‘33 Act DOGE fund. Bloomberg’s Eric Balchunas, the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Crypto Galaxy, revealed that Bitwise’s DOGE ETF is set to launch on November 27-just two days after Grayscale’s. Meanwhile, 21Shares is still fiddling with its S-1 filing like a Magrathean trying to assemble an IKEA bookshelf. 📜