Because who needs community momentum when you have… dramatic pause …a ledger that doesn’t require mining? Sure, it’s not like XRP has a 100% chance of being a scam or anything. Just a “disciplined evaluation of how well an asset performs its intended role.” Which, honestly, is the same thing as “I have no idea what I’m doing but I’m gonna sound smart about it.” 🤯
Last week, Brad Garlinghouse, Ripple’s CEO, declared triumph with the conditional approval of a national trust bank charter from the US Office of the Comptroller of the Currency. “A massive step forward!” he proclaimed, as if challenging the very gods of traditional banking. Alas, his rivals, those stodgy titans of finance, merely yawned and stirred their brandy. Meanwhile, the XRP faithful, armed with hashtags and hubris, flooded the internet with declarations of victory. JackTheRippler, a digital bard with 430,000 followers, claimed Bank of America had blessed the move-a tale as credible as a fox preaching piety.
On X (because who doesn’t love a rebrand), Erick warned that Dogecoin is “compressing at the apex,” which is just fancy talk for saying the coin is about to choose a side-either breakout (hello, moon!) or breakdown (ouch). The volatility ahead means you can probably set your watch by the chaos. Should DOGE drop below $0.13, it might be time to grab a tissue for the tears-those are more than just a dip, folks. But if it breaks loose from that trendline, we could be headed for a relief rally, a fancy way to say “doge goes up, maybe a lot.” So, traders are being told to focus on the breakout, not the noise-which sounds like a parenting tip, but no, it’s just market advice from the crypto oracle. 📉📈
Ah, dear crypto traders, how you must feel! Brace yourselves for yet another tempestuous whirlpool of volatility, as the monumental U.S. nonfarm payroll report for November threatens to disrupt the tranquility of your trading sanctuaries. It arrives today, accompanied by the retail sales data from October-a delightful double feature, wouldn’t you agree?
Imagine, if you will, a world where liquidity pools on CEXs and DEXs shimmer with prosperity, and Solana-no longer just a blockchain, but the blockchain-hosts both XSGD and XUSD side by side like peculiar twins in a sci-fi novel. The first Layer 1 to pull off such a feat! A feat so grand it practically screams, “Behold, the new era of cross-border finance, now with 100% more instant swaps and less fuss.”
The case has become a flashpoint in a broader debate over who truly controls access to the US financial system. At its core, the dispute questions whether federal regulators can effectively override state-approved banks without clear legal limits. A question as old as time, or at least as old as the Federal Reserve itself. 🧠
Our beloved Bitcoin (BTC), once strutting about with all the swagger of a dapper gentleman at a garden party, has tumbled down to a measly $85,100. Meanwhile, some of its more flamboyant friends-those cheeky altcoins-have chosen to join the fray of despair, with Aster (ASTER) and Ondo (ONDO) leading the charge into the depths of double-digit doom.
According to the wise folks over at SoSoValue, those nine spot Ethereum ETFs recorded a staggering $224.7 million in net outflows this past Monday, Dec. 15-marking the largest one-day exodus since the last great upheaval on Nov. 21. BlackRock’s IBIT led the charge with a whopping $139 million making a beeline for the exit, while Grayscale’s ETHE and ETH funds trailed behind, dragging their feet with outflows of $35 million and $20 million, respectively. And wouldn’t you know it, not a single ETF saw an inflow that day! Talk about a ghost town. 👻
This grand initiative, akin to a masterful chess move, aims to weave RLUSD into the intricate fabric of Layer-2 (L2) solutions on the Ethereum (ETH) blockchain. This endeavor is made possible through a partnership with Wormhole, a behemoth in the realm of cross-chain interoperability. One might imagine them shaking hands over a virtual coffee, discussing how to make crypto more interconnected than an overly dramatic family reunion.
This snazzy fund issues shares as digital tokens living it up on the Ethereum blockchain, and they’re only inviting the cool kids-qualified investors-through their posh Morgan Money platform. Who knew finance could be so exclusive? 🙄