Crypto News

November has been the worst month since June 2022 – you remember, that dramatic, market-melting time of chaos. Well, it’s back, and it’s worse than ever!

He’s basically saying, “Yeah, every new coin does a little dance-pumps first, then crashes harder than your hopes on a bad day.” And let’s be honest, how many of these babies actually stick around? Just a handful, like Bitcoin, Ether, Solana, and Zcash-kind of like the cool kids that made it past high school. The rest? Vanishing acts faster than you can say “Pump and Dump.”

La pièce tourne autour de ce ratio, l’Intérêt Ouvert sur la Capitalisation Boursière, instrument qui mesure jusqu’à quel point les merriesfiches dérivées ont pris le pouvoir face à la valeur véritable du héros-euh, du jeton. Quand la foule de spéculateurs augmente sans retenue tandis que la valeur réelle demeure planquée, le tout devient aussi fragile qu’un échafaudage en papier mâché lors d’un défilé du samedi soir.

Ah, Turkmenistan. This charming little nation in Central Asia, known for its lavish natural gas reserves (the fourth-largest in the world, darling), has now made a grand leap into the world of digital assets. You see, they’ve passed a law that will finally legitimize the wild world of cryptocurrencies, including creating a regulatory framework for exchanges and mining companies. And just like that, the future is now-if you can wait till 2026!

With the gentlemen of the Federal Reserve now observing a period of enforced silence – commencing on Saturday last – the attention of investors is naturally turning to the latest pronouncements concerning the state of the American economy.

KuCoin’s European incarnation, a GmbH no less, has conquered secured the Markets in Crypto-Assets Regulation (MiCAR) license. Granted by Austria’s Financial Market Authority (FMA), this parchment permits them to peddle digital vices across 29 EEA nations. A triumph! Or so they claim. 🤔

The most poetic betrayal comes from wallet 0x0ddf9, a once-proud short-seller who now clings to hope like a drowning man to a crypto-funded life raft. After closing a 1,000 BTC short at a $1.6M loss (a noble sacrifice in the grand tragicomedy of errors), this whale flipped to a 3× long with the swagger of a Wall Street tycoon in a meme stock rally. The liquidation price? $59,112-a number that now haunts the trader like a ghost in the blockchain. 👻

According to McGlone, this rebound might just be a blip before Bitcoin crashes down to $50,000 in a “typical reversion.” Oh, joy! Based on his oh-so-reliable patterns, Bitcoin has this nasty little habit of undoing its gains and heading straight for the $50,000 mark-a lovely 45% drop from where we are now. So, before you start dreaming of Lambos, perhaps prepare yourself for the possibility of a quick and painful return to that level.

Behold, the long-awaited ETF debut of Dogecoin, a tale of hope and despair woven in digital threads. What began as a radiant dawn for the GDOG fund swiftly turned into a twilight of disillusionment. The launch, hailed as a milestone, promised to usher Dogecoin into the realm of institutional grace. Yet, the cosmos of finance proved fickle, as inflows vanished like morning mist under the sun’s cruel gaze.

In the past week, XRP has strutted its stuff, rising more than 12% – a feat worthy of a space-faring creature with no regard for gravity, or common sense. Meanwhile, its major holders-privileged beings of enormous wallets-have been shifting around the cosmic clutter, transferring a staggering 460 million coins as if it’s just Tuesday. One can’t help wondering if whales are the universe’s most eccentric custodians, or perhaps just overly enthusiastic coin collectors with a flair for the dramatic.