Crypto News

At press time, dear old ETH decided to play it cool, trading at $4,508, down a modest 0.36%. Clearly, the market’s holding its champagne for the after-party.

In a blockchain plot twist that no one saw coming, Galaxy decided to throw its digital wallet wide open on Sunday and snagged a cool 1.2 million SOL tokens from various exchanges. But wait-there’s more! These tokens were swiftly transferred to Fireblocks, a “custody provider” that probably has more security than Fort Knox. This wasn’t just a one-off splurge, either. Oh no, this marks the continuation of Galaxy’s ongoing buying spree, which now totals a whopping $1.55 billion in Solana acquisitions. Somebody has a very big crypto shopping cart.

Apparently, tracking the ‘performance’ of XRP before subtracting all the fees and expenses is now considered a service. Bless their hearts. They want a piece of your hard-earned kopeks, and they’re willing to call it “direct exposure” to the third-largest… well, let’s just say ‘digital curiosity’ by market cap.

Back in January 2023 – it feels like a different century, doesn’t it? – the SEC decided Gemini and their friends at Genesis Global Capital were running an unregistered securities offering. Basically, people were lending their crypto to Genesis (which, in retrospect, was about as safe as lending your car keys to a ferret), and getting interest in return. The SEC, in its infinite wisdom, decided this was…illegal. A shocking twist, I know. 🕵️‍♂️

But of course, as is always the case, something went wrong. Turns out there’s this on-chain analytics folks, Bubblemaps (like everyone has an analytics folk these days), who found out a sophisticated Sybil attack was messing with the token’s debutante ball. Classic.

The SEC decided to get involved because Gemini apparently didn’t feel like properly registering its fancy new Gemini Earn lending program before offering it to regular folks. This program, launched in 2021, allowed customers to lend their precious bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies to Genesis Global Capital in exchange for interest rates. Gemini, meanwhile, collected fees as high as 4.29%. A pretty good deal, if you ignore the fact that, you know, it was probably illegal.

The regulatory filigree, dated September 15, 2025 (a date which, I suspect, holds no magical significance whatsoever), details the intricate choreography required for this particular financial pirouette. Nasdaq shall be the stage, Canary Capital Group LLC the rather puffed-up impresario. CSC Delaware Trust Company, bless its dutiful heart, will guard the coffers. And U.S. Bancorp Fund Services, LLC… well, they’ll be doing all the mundane paperwork, a task I imagine to be as thrilling as watching paint dry in Reykjavik. 🙄

Mr. Visser, ever the optimist or perhaps the mischief-maker, forecasts a growing appetite in the final quarter as portfolio managers eagerly poised themselves to make their grand designs for the coming year of 2025. Some shall venture timidly forth with modest increments; others, however, may audaciously slice ever greater portions of their hoards and declare their allegiance to that most curious of digital fortunes.

But look closer, comrades. The Network Value to Transaction (NVT) Ratio, that cold, calculating measure, has leapt a full 29% to reach 50.5 – a number that whispers of valuations stretched thinner than a prison ration. Twenty-eight and a half million dollars have vanished from the exchanges, yes, but what does it mean when the activity on the network itself fails to justify the ascending price? It is like building a palace on a foundation of sand, my friends.

Now, the SEC-once the villainous star in tales of crypto crackdown-had accused our brave Gemini of playing fast and loose with registration rules. Their Earn program promised mortals the chance to lend their precious Bitcoin (BTC) and other magical digital tokens to Genesis Global Capital in exchange for little golden interest coins. But, alas, the SEC claimed our heroes skipped the necessary ritual disclosures meant to shield investors from dark forest dangers.