The Bank of England, in a display of unprecedented urgency, apparently intends to craft some rules around stablecoins by the end of 2026. Yes, you read that right-2026! Just in time for the next decade of crypto chaos. According to an anonymous Bloomberg report, a consultation begins on Nov. 10. Because why start early when you can start fashionably late? 🕰️
Solana, dear reader, had briefly donned the crown of $200, joining Bitcoin and Ethereum in their gilded folly. But the bears, those sly foxes, arrived with their pitchforks and dragged the price back down to earth-past $200, $182, and all the way to the chilly $174 low. A feeble recovery attempt? Naturally. It climbed to the 50% Fib retracement, only to find the bears still lurking, sipping tea and guarding the 61.8% Fib like a pack of overzealous footmen.
So, Polygon’s co-founder, Sandeep Nailwal, is losing his patience. He’s been loyal to Ethereum for years but says the Ethereum Foundation has given them zero love. Yep, despite Polygon being a major player in scaling Ethereum. Talk about being the cool cousin who’s always left out of family photos! 😒
In what could be described as an almost Shakespearean turn of events, the price of XRP, after a particularly dramatic plunge, had investors bracing themselves for further misery. “Sell at a loss!” they cried, ever hopeful that the price would plummet like a lead balloon. And yet-hold onto your monocle-the token did precisely the opposite. It surged. Surpassed the $2.5 mark. For the first time in more than a week! A week, mind you! Who could have predicted such audacity? 💸
Ah, the sweet scent of de-dollarization! Russia, that indefatigable rogue of the global stage, has pivoted with the grace of a ballet dancer on vodka, shifting nearly all its trade settlements with China and India into their respective currencies. Deputy Prime Minister Alexander Novak, a man whose name sounds like a forgotten character from Brideshead Revisited, revealed this on October 20th. The dollar, once the hegemonic darling of international finance, is now as passé as a monocle at a tech conference.
Ethereum tried to “get cute” above $3,800, like a desperate Tinder profile. It hit $3,880, $3,980, and even flirted with the 50% Fib retracement. But the bears? Total players. They shut it down at $4,080 like a parent confiscating a glow stick. 👩🏫
Bitcoin’s recent nosedive-down to a pitiful $104,000-was, according to Glassnode, merely a “flush, not a failure.” How poetic. Like a clogged toilet, the market needed a good plunging. Futures open interest? Down. Funding rates? Cratered. ETF flows? Neutral, like a bored bureaucrat. Traders are realizing losses, not capitulating-because why admit defeat when you can just suffer quietly?
Behold, the technical stars align! Ali Martinez, that sage of charts, proclaims a TD Sequential buy signal, as if the heavens themselves have declared, “Arise, PENGU, and waddle forth!” 📈 The structure, once a mess of indecision, now tightens like a corset on a Gogol character, hinting at a recovery as inevitable as a Russian winter. ❄️ As long as the price clings to $0.021 to $0.022 like a bureaucrat to his paperwork, the bulls may yet charge forward with renewed vigor. 🐂
His Majesty’s Revenue and Customs-yep, the very tax folks who’d tax your grandmother’s cat if they could-have cranked up their efforts to catch those pesky crypto tax evaders. They’ve decided that a mere whisper won’t do and sent out a staggering 65,000 “nudge” letters in the 2024-25 tax year, a number that dwarfs the previous year’s 27,700 like a circus elephant next to a tiny mouse.