Crypto News

By Shayan (probably still crying about the 2017 bull run)

With an average price of $113,227 per Bitcoin, B-HODL has not only secured its place in the annals of corporate daring but has also elbowed its way into the top 100 public Bitcoin Treasuries, landing at a modest 98th place. A small victory, perhaps, but one that comes with a trumpet blast of self-importance. 🎺

Behold, Bitcoin Core v30, set to arrive in October, will abolish the 80-byte cap on OP_RETURN, that curious corner of a transaction script where users can embed arbitrary data. A move as audacious as it is divisive. 🚀

This, dear reader, means another 200% rally predicted for Q4 2025 – the sort of math that would make even the most stoic accountant spill their morning tea.

Now the burning question (besides “Why did I check this?”) is whether XRP can claw its way back to the elusive $3 mark before September bids us all farewell.

Ah, the restless chronicles of the CoinDesk Indices – where every tick, every whisper of numbers, embodies the dreams and despairs of digital fortune hunters. Here is today’s modest celebration, wrapped in the drab robes of market updates.

Since its launch on September 17, ASTER has gone up more than 2,000%-a journey that’s left investors questioning their life choices, their sanity, and why they didn’t buy Bitcoin in 2017. 🤯 At $2.40 now, the market cap is climbing faster than a toddler on a trampoline, and Binance’s listing of ASTER perpetuals? Let’s just say the 24-hour volume is now higher than your ex’s Instagram followers. 📈

The recent dispatch from CryptoQuant-our ever-so-reliable correspondent-reveals that Ethereum’s 30-day Simple Moving Average netflow has soared to heights unseen since the last days of 2023. 

Well, well, well. Hyperliquid’s USDH stablecoin, created by the wizards over at Native Markets, had its grand debut on Wednesday-and guess what? It made more noise than your aunt’s Christmas party, racking up over $2 million in early trading volume. 🎉

Tether is the issuer of USDT, the largest stablecoin with a market cap of over $173B. For context, Circle’s USDC is about $100B behind it. Because nothing says “financial stability” like being 100 billion dollars less rich. 😂