Apparently, Upexi’s like that friend who goes quiet for five months and then suddenly says, “Hey, I’m expanding my crypto stash-again.” The market’s feeling queasy, and so are investors. Caution is the new black. 👜
Meet #66kETHBorrow, the crypto equivalent of that friend who always orders the most expensive thing on the menu and then Venmos you for half. This whale just scooped up an additional 40,975 ETH in the past five hours, bringing their total stash to 569,247 ETH. That’s $1.69 billion, folks. Or, as I like to call it, “enough to buy a small country, but not enough to buy good taste.” 🏰🤡
Polymarket, ever the master of deflection, refused to deny the breach but instead blamed Magic Eden with the enthusiasm of a politician avoiding a scandal. One user, after three login attempts (a triple act of betrayal), discovered their account balance had plummeted to $0.01-a financial tragedy worthy of a Shakespearean sonnet.
The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) has brought charges against seven entities, accusing them of orchestrating a scheme that siphoned over $14 million from the pockets of retail investors, leaving many in destitution. 🧛♂️📉
Prediction market Polymarket blamed an unidentified third-party login provider for recent account breaches reported by several users. A tale as old as time – and just as reliable. 🕰️
According to a trader’s data, most airdropped tokens plummet faster than a Looney Tunes anvil. Spoiler: selling might be the smarter move. 🪂💸
Only two companies, SharpLink Gaming and BitMine Immersion Technologies (honestly, the names!), have bigger collections of the stuff. They’ve got 859,853 and a positively ridiculous 4,066,062 Ether respectively. BitMine… honestly, it sounds like a villain from a comic book. 😈
Such a maze of fortunes invites one to ponder: is this the harrowing collapse of old dreams or merely a sweet, albeit bittersweet, respite in an otherwise relentless progression?
Yet, mark this well, for herein lies the crux of our tale. SHIB now lingers near a threshold once hallowed by dramatic reversals. In the annals of February 2024, it loitered in a similar vale of indecision, only to be seized by a tempestuous rally of 400%, swift and merciless. It was no gradual ascent, no sedate accumulation, but a volcanic eruption born of seller exhaustion, apathy, and the slumber of participation. 🌋
According to the Financial Times-a publication generally reliable, though prone to overstating the importance of commerce-citing data from a source called PitchBook, no fewer than 267 ‘deals’ transpired. These included outright purchases, strategic investments, and a general consolidation of forces. An increase of 18%, one is informed, over the previous year! The total value, a staggering £8.6 billion, is quite four times the paltry £2.17 billion of 2024. Truly, a remarkable escalation.